


We're Just Bonding, Really!

by iamalivenow



Category: Voltron: Legendary Defender
Genre: 69 (Sex Position), Aftercare, Anal Sex, Angst, Asexuality, Ass to Mouth, Attempt at Humor, Awkward Sexual Situations, BDSM, Blow Jobs, Body Worship, Choking, Crossdressing, Crying, Crying During Sex, Dating, Dildos, Dismemberment, Doggy Style, Double Penetration, Dubious Consent, Dubious Morality, Established Relationship, Exhibitionism, Explicit Sexual Content, Extended AU, F/F, First Kiss, First Time, First Time Blow Jobs, Fluff, Gift Giving, Hair-pulling, Hand Jobs, Hate to Love, Homophobia, Imprisonment, Kissing, Love, M/M, Makeouts, Massage, Masturbation, Multi, Nightmares, Orgasm Delay/Denial, Original Character(s), Other, Other Additional Tags to Be Added, Panic Attacks, Polyamory, Polyamory Negotiations, Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder - PTSD, Praise Kink, Punishment, Regret, Riding, Rimming, Romance, Roommates, Self-Doubt, Self-Hatred, Sexual Confusion, Sharing Clothes, Showers, Spanking, Threesome - M/M/M, Towels, True Love, Unreliable Narrator, Vibrators, Wall Sex, Water Sex, courting, hypersexuality, showering, this is how i show my love
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2016-07-11
Updated: 2016-11-19
Packaged: 2018-07-23 00:02:01
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Underage
Chapters: 16
Words: 55,164
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7458774
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/iamalivenow/pseuds/iamalivenow
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Good People have Good Sex.</p><p>Right?</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Getting Back at Me

**Author's Note:**

> Right, so, where to begin. 
> 
> I'm writing this because this show is adorable, and there isn't enough smut in this fandom, and also, I need practice. :D
> 
> This is going to be an extended universe, where everything that happens in the show, happens here, but through more time, so there will be a lot more time spent on bonding, and other missions, instead of just throwing them at the big evil in like, what, a week?
> 
> Was it a week?
> 
> The fic will be out of chronological order, and more relationships will be added as the fic progresses. 
> 
> Thank you for spending your time with me and my filth. 
> 
> Not Beta'd

Keith notes that it's cold the day Shiro crash lands into the desert. Unusually so, for the season, for spring, because by this time, the desert is starting to act more like a proper desert, and not the almost tundra it turned into in the winter. He grabbed a jacket before he got on his speeder that day. The old jacket that he had since before the academy. It didn't fit quite right, the bottom being to short, while the sleeves were too loose, but he grabbed it anyway. 

Shiro looks small for once, when Keith finds him. Sedated, the loud kid tells him. Keith hurts, seeing him like that. He hooks his arm under Shiro's shoulder and helps him onto to the speeder behind him. He barely pays attention when three other people get on, because Shiro is there, behind him, his body pressed against his. Keith whispers kindness and safety into his ear, and Shiro slumps against him. 

Shiro is warm. Of course, by the time they escape the security, and Keith has adrenaline coursing through his veins and he's warm enough to no longer notice Shiro's heat, but his weight is still there. Keith loves the feel of it, but then, he always has. Shiro was all encompassing. When they get to his little house, he lifts Shiro on his own, the other three just starring at the house. 

Keith sets him on his bed, covers him in a quilt, because, yes, it is still cold. He walks into the living room/kitchen/office to find the other three staring at his wall of relevance. He explains everything to them, and they look both terrified and enraptured. He starts a pot of water for the tea Shiro's going to want, and shows them all the photos he has. The short one said that they were picking up readings that confirmed everything Shiro mumbled about on the way here.

They talk about a few other things, the loud kid, Lance, complains at him for a while before Keith remembers him. He points out that he was always a better pilot, and the kid goes off. It's kind of fun to watch, and the other two seem to agree with him. Hunk, the bigger guy asks if he has any food and Keith makes him a quick sandwich from the last of his rations. He has a feeling he wont be needing them anymore. 

Pidge, the smaller one, talks to him about how he got his information. He tells him, or maybe her? Keith isn't sure, but Pidge seems to be going by a guy so he might as well accommodate. He tells him that while he sits out here, there isn't a lot to do. He steels stuff from the academy some times, and Pidge grins wide at him. 

He hears rustling from the other room and he crosses the small space from the kitchen counter to the bedroom in two large steps. Shiro is laying on his back, eyes wide, wet. He tells them about the aliens, the Galra, and what happened, roughly. He holds up his new arm and Keith can tell he's trying to not cry. 

“It's getting dark.” Keith says. He isn't sure to who, exactly. “Spend the night here, and then tomorrow we can go to the weird caves, alright?” 

“We have to-”

“You have to get better.” Keith interjects. Shiro nods mutely. “You guys don't mind right?”

Lance minds very much, thank you, but Hunk and Pidge look at the couch and shrug. They were all training to be military, they slept in worse places. Keith has a lot of extra blankets, and Hunk recommends building a fort. Lance agrees immediately, and they get to it. He closes the bedroom door behind him, holding a cup of hot tea. 

“Do you want to talk about it?” He asks as he hands Shiro the cup. Shiro doesn't talk for a bit, and Keith sits down next to him on the bed. Keith looks at him, and his shoulders are shaking. Keith doesn't really know what to do, so he puts his hand on Shiro's and the man cries in earnest now. Keith's heart hurts. 

“Do you want to take a shower?” He asks instead, and Shiro nods mutely. The bathroom is attached to the bedroom, and Keith helps him into it. “Do you want me to stay?” He asks, and Shiro nods again. Keith fiddles with the shower nobs until he coaxes hot water out from the tank on the roof. He helps Shiro undress from the skin tight jacket thing, and coarse pants. He isn't wearing any underwear. 

Shiro stands under the shower and tries to compose himself several times. Keith is always under hand, soap, shampoo, conditioner, a razor, aftershave, lotion, a towel, another one. He watches as Shiro scrubs at himself hard enough to turn red. He notices that his skin is paler then it was before, sickly. He doesn't mention the spot of white in his hair when Shiro drags his hands through it. He doesn't mention the scars either. He helps Shiro out of the shower then. 

“You should take one too.” Shiro says out of no where, and Keith almost jumps. Almost. He guesses that yeah, he probably smells after the daring rescue, so he showers too, faster the Shiro. Maybe its the anticipation for what might come next. Maybe. 

The bed, a luxury that Keith afforded himself, was a king. He never owned one that big, never slept in one until he bought this one, but now, it was well worth it. Shiro sit on the bed naked, when he walks out of the bathroom. He's naked too, but he can move for his boxer briefs if he needs to. Shiro looks up at him. They stare at each other for a while before Shiro extends his hand, and Keith goes. 

He takes his hand gently and Shiro guide him till he straddles the man's hips. Keith puts most of his weight on to his knees, which rest on the clean sheets. This way, Keith towers over Shiro, but Shiro still makes the first move. He always makes the first move. Shiro leans up, curves his head a bit, and kisses Keith on the lips. 

It's soft at first, the gentleness that Shiro always exudes, and Keith doesn't progress it any further. It's for Shiro. All of this is for Shiro. They kiss slowly, softly, for a while. Keith's legs cramp up but he doesn't care. Shiro doesn't know where to put his hands, so Keith gently grabs both of his hands and puts them on his hips. The new arm is cold. Keith kind of likes it. 

When Shiro pulls away, Keith opens his eyes and looks at him again. “I'm sorry.” Shiro mumbles and looks down into Keith's collar bone. Keith lifts Shiro's eyes up to him. 

“Don't be. You came back.” He says and kisses Shiro again. Still soft. Still gentle. 

“I missed you so much, Keith.”

“I missed you more.” Keith whispers into his lips before kissing him again. “Do you remember what we did before you left on your mission?” He felt Shiro smile against him. “Can we do that again?”

“Yes.” Shiro sighs out, and Keith smirks. “I... I don't remember much, from my... imprisonment, but I would never forget that.” Keith snorts. Laugh the pain away. Always works. 

“Yeah?” Keith asks, and a hand reaches down between them until he grabs Shiro, who gasps in turn. “What part did you like the most?”

“Don't make me pick.” Shiro groaned and Keith laughed. “Every part. Every single part. Every part of you.” Shiro says and Keith lets out a little moan too. He likes this part. A lot. 

“Why?” He asks and pulls up for the first time. Shiro grits his teeth, and one of his hands, the organic one, slides backwards from his hip. Slowly. 

“Because look at you!” Shiro laughs. “Beautiful. Every part of you is so perfect. So smart. So clever. So gorgeous.” Keith kisses him, and Shiro's hand grabs at his ass. He grinds down on it. “Mine.”

“You made me wait.” Keith whispers into Shiro's ear, and rubs his thumb over the head of Shiro's cock. “You made me wait for so long. But it's okay. Do you know why it's okay, Shiro?” Shiro froze up a bit. He shrugged. “Because you came back. And I love you. I love you so much.” The metallic hand cupped his face and a thumb brushed his cheek. He was crying. 

“I love you too. So much, Keith. So, so, so much.” Shiro's crying too. “Let me make it up to you.” He whispers as he strokes Keith's face. 

“Please.” Keith whispers back. 

The metal hand moves to his lower back and he gets moved onto the bed, his back comes into contact with the cold sheets. He didn't realize how much his legs had cramped until he finally straightened them out. Shiro moves between his legs, and leans down a bit, kissing at his collar bones. One hand rubs at his chest, sort of splayed at the middle, Shiro's thumb and pinky both grazing his nipples. Keith snorts just a bit. “What?”

“You do it funny.” Keith snickers back. 

“I do not!” Shiro whispers back loudly. Keith laughs again, and Shiro laughs too, until his hand moves to the right nipple and his mouth covers the left. Keith smiles so wide it almost hurts, and Shiro sucks away, his teeth grazing the nub a bit. After a bit he alternates, but not before kissing it, making Keith grin like an idiot again. 

Keith is at half mast when he feels Shiro's cock grind against his hip. Gods, that feels so good, so familiar. He didn't know how much he missed it. Shiro slowly, slowly moves his way down, until he gets to Keith's own leaking mess and kisses it. Several times. “I missed you so much.” Keith mutters, and feels Shiro smile against him again. “You don't know how many times I thought about this.”

“I can imagine.” Shiro says and the metallic hand wraps around his thigh, lifting it up. “I imagined this too.” He kisses his way down the thigh until he gets to Keith's hole. 

“Shiro, please.” Keith whispers, a bit breathless. Shiro delivers. His tongue moves around the rim, and after getting it wet enough, presses his tongue inside. A finger along with it. Keith leans his head back. They both revel in the feeling, Keith feeling full for the first time in too long, Shiro, clearly missing taking him apart. 

The second finger follows, and Shiro scissors him slowly, getting his tongue in deeper every time. One of Keith's hands wraps in what little remains of Shiro's hair, and he pulls him forward, guiding him. The third and fourth finger get in him when Shiro moves his mouth away to lick at his own. Keith kisses him back, and the kisses are different now, hungry. 

“Shiro.” Keith manages in between the litany of kisses. “Come on.” Shiro's metal hand rubs up and down his side. 

“Yeah, where did you put the lotion?” Keith points at the bathroom and watches Shiro get up and walk to get it. Keith watches his ass more intently. 

“Your butt is hot.” He calls after him. He hears Shiro snort. 

“Yours is better.” 

“Of course it is.” Keith laughs and Shiro crosses the room with the lotion in hand. Keith takes it away from him and pours it onto his hand, and starts rubbing Shiro's cock more actively. 

“Keith, lose some enthusiasm.” Keith smiles wide, and pours a little excess directly onto him. It's cold, and Shiro seems grateful for it. His sheets are dirty. Shiro takes the bottle away from him and pours a little on his two fingers. “Better safe then sorry, right?” Keith nods. 

After a minute, Shiro lines himself up, kisses Keith one more time and enters him, slowly. “I love you.” Keith mumbles. “I love this. I love how full you make me feel.” Shiro nudges his head against Keith's. 

“I love you.” He whispers back, directly into his ear. The breath makes him giddy, it tickles him a lot. “I'm so sorry for leaving you like that.”

“Shiro-”

“No, I won't ever forgive myself.” Keith reaches up and hits his head. Shiro mumbles an ow and Keith hits him again. 

“Don't be stupid, alright? I told you, you came back. You came back to me. Alright?” Shiro nods. “You can move now.” Shiro does. Keith throws his head back. 

It's a constant thump thump thump of the bed knocking against the wall, and Shiro's skin against his, “I love you.”, of their hearts in their chests. “I love you.” Keith reaches down and tugs at himself, and Shiro bites his shoulder. Keith bites back and pulls at himself with the rhythm Shiro set, “I love you.” his cock bouncing against both of their stomachs. Shiro his his prostrate again and again and again, “I love you.” and the heat is all encompassing again. 

Shiro comes first, spilling into Keith with a grunt, and more kisses to his face. Keith pulls at himself harder as he feels Shiro spill out of him. He comes with a laugh as Shiro tells him that he does it funny, and Shiro is up almost automatically then. Keith lays back and fells cum cooling and crusting up slightly. He closes his eyes as he feels a soft warm wet towel clean him, inside and out. Shiro cleans the sweat and cum off of him, and when he sits down on the bed, Keith take the cloth from him and does the same to Shiro in turn. He throws it, and it lands in the bathroom. 

“Tomorrow is another day.” Keith whispers and Shiro lies next to him and pulls the blanket and quilt up to both of their chests. “Right now, though...”

“Nothing else matters?” Shiro fills for him, and in affirmation, Keith kisses him again. 

“Exactly.” Keith nuzzles into him, and Shiro spoons him, an arm over his chest. Shiro's heat and weight are back, and Keith is so, so, elated. Shiro whispers sweet things into his hair, and Keith returns the favor into Shiro's shoulder. “I love you.”

“I love you too, baby.” Keith freezes up, turns to stare at Shiro and then bursts out laughing. 

“What was that?!” 

“What?”

“You know what!” Keith stretches his arms out past Shiro's head, and he grabs his ears, tugging at them a bit. “Since when?”

“I don't know, I thought you liked it?” Shiro swats at Keith's hands, laughing too. 

“I mean, I don't hate it, but it sounds so cheesy!”

“Keith, come on. I'm tired.” Keith thought for a moment, before nuzzling back into his chest. 

“Good night daddy.” He whispers, and Shiro shoots back from him. Keith laughs as Shiro almost falls of the bed. “You see how fucking awkward that sounds?”

“Oh my god, I am so sorry.” Shiro says. He's red now, his face shoved into a pillow. “I'm so so so sorry.” Keith can't stop laughing. “I'll never do it again.” 

“What, you don't want to make this a thing, daddy?”

“STOP! Stop it right now, immediately. Do you want to see me beg? Is this you getting back at me?”

“I mean, only a little?” Keith says through tears now. “Come on, it has a nice ring to it, daddy Shiro. I like it.”

“Keith, stop. I'm begging. This is me begging.”

“Oh, you can do better then that, daddy.” There is a smile on his face.

“Keeeeeeiiiiiiiith!” Shiro wiggles up to him, and kisses him. Again and again and again, until they are both gasping for air. 

“I love you.” Keith whispers finally. “I forgive you.”

“Yeah?” Shiro asks, still incredulous. 

“Yeah.” Keith says, and the two fall asleep. 

The three guys in the other room desperately trying to cover their ears let out a sigh of relief.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Yeah, there you go. Look at that. We made it. Together :D
> 
> My tumblr is iamalivenow, and I am in the process of making a writing/fandom blog, but feel free to come and talk to me, because I don't know how long that will take ~
> 
> There will be more, and if you guys make some suggestions, who knows, maybe there will be more of that. 
> 
> The next chapter is Keith/Lance, and it will be set a bit after this one. 
> 
> Thank you again <3


	2. toxic masculinity

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Keith and Lance have a long series of different conversations while being forced to literally scrub floors. It goes places. 
> 
>  
> 
> Warnings: LowKeyFuckBoy!Lance, casual abuse mention, panic attack, disassociation.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello again, it's been so long <3
> 
> Please check the warnings in the summery, also check the tags, they are ever growing. 
> 
> This takes about three weeks after the first chapter. It's Keith/Lance, and oh by, those gosh darn tonal shifts. So many. 
> 
> Thank you for spending time with me and my filth.
> 
> not beta'd 
> 
> GG

“You'd think that a magic space castle would be self cleaning, but no! That's the stuff of dreams! That's just to wild!” Lance throws his brush down on the floor, and the spilled water splashes up to his calfs. Keith sighs loud enough for Lance to hear, and that sets him off even more. “What?!”

Keith doesn't say anything. He's bent over, scrubbing at the floors of the showers. Lance watches him put more vigor into it then he needs to and it just pisses him of even more. He's wearing shorts that cut of half way above his thigh which Lance is willing to bet money on, were intended for Shiro. Instead, he's stuck scrubbing floors with Lance. Serves him right, the dick.

His skin is almost as pale as Pidge's, but he has a tan Lance guesses he got from living in a desert. Keith is barefoot, and in a tank top. Lance rolled up his jeans and is still wearing his shirt. The floor is slippery.

This was Shiro's idea of punishment. They got in a fight today during training, and instead of flying in formation, trying to form Voltron, attacked each other with their lions. So, okay, bad move on his part, but it felt so good clawing at Keith for the first time since they met. He wishes, only partially, that they would have fought hand to hand. He imagines what it would have felt like when his fist would have connected with Keith's face.

“Lance, you missed the rim of the drain again.” Keith says. It would have felt great. The best feeling in the world, probably.

“You missed the rim!” Lance says as he makes a show of pouring more soup then necessary and scrubbing at it. He can hear Keith get up to move to a different part of the shower, but he's to busy posturing to look up and see him. “What if we hadn't fought huh? Then who would have cleaned the showers? I bet they have robots to do this for us.”

“I think this is the first time anyone's cleaned since we got here, I don't think we do.” Keith says back through gritted teeth. The showers are pretty nasty with five guys using it. Well, four guys. He hasn't seen Pidge in here once. Maybe he found a secret shower somewhere. He would have to grill him about it later.

“Ugh!” Lance shrieks unhappily as he hits the rim to hard and dirty water splashes over his jeans. “This is the only pare I have, fuuuuuck.” When he looks up for the first time, Keith is right in front of him. Well, Keith's ass is right in front of him as he scrubs against the wall in a weird position. That can't be comfortable. A sort of... kneel, maybe? God, what a fucking weirdo. Keith turns around and looks at his now stained jeans.

“It's just water.” He says and turns back. He looks like a cat stretching in vertical as he scrubs at the corner tiles. “Let it dry and it'll fade away.” He rubs a forearm at his forehead and gets back to work.

“That's easy for you to say, you have a change of clothes!” Keith and Shiro both packed, since it was their house they stayed at before going into the caves and finding his lion. Keith turns on his heals and leans over, until his face is needless close at Lance's wet leg. Lance jolts back, but before he lands butt first into more water, Keith grabs his arm, balancing him.

“You can get that out.” He looks up at him. “Don't panic to much.” Lance is almost sure he's blushing now. Keith pulls back and picks up his bucket and brush to move to another corner. Lance is a bit breathless still so he watches Keith's feet cross the wet tiles.

“How would you know?” He mumbles after a bit, picking his brush back up, and scrubbing at the excess soap, so he doesn't trip all over himself again. Keith stops for a bit, sits up on his knees and sighs. He looks tired all of a sudden and Lance feels bad, briefly.

“I cleaned up after myself since I was really young.” He says with out looking at Lance now. “Since I got out of the orphanage.”

“Oh shit.” Lance says and wants to hit himself. “I mean, sorry, dude. I didn't know.” All of a sudden things make sense to him. How distant Keith would get when they all talked about being homesick. He never even questioned why Keith lived alone in the desert, never assumed anything was out of the ordinary, just that he was some eccentric loner type. No wonder he clung to Shiro so hard.

“That's not something that really comes up in conversation.” Keith says and goes back to scrubbing what looks like it could be mold. Space mold? Was that a thing? Lance picks up his bucket, gets up, and moves closer to him, in the middle of the room. He pours more water out, and a bit of it creeps over to Keith, soaking his legs. He doesn't mind, apparently. Lance watches as the bottom of his shorts dampen.

There wasn't anything else to talk about between them, for a while at least, so they scrub in silence. Grunt work sucks. Lance looks at Keith intermittently, and wonders what Shiro sees in him. He'd make a good house wife, maybe. How did they even meet? Lance wonders how Keith convinced him to move into the small shack in the desert, and why Shiro said yes if he had undoubtably amazing quarters at the academy. He wondered why Keith dropped out in the first place.

Was it to be with Shiro? No, Lance decided, that doesn't seem like a very Keith thing to do, and Shiro would have skinned him alive for that. What was it like, living with someone like Shiro 24/7 anyway? Must have been a nightmare. Maybe they only slept together to shut each other up. Lance felt jealous all of a sudden. Keith was getting more action then he was. Then he ever did. Being a virgin fucking sucked.

Everyone at the academy told him that they definitely weren't and before he bunked with Hunk he would listen to his dorm mates tell stories of all the girls they laid in the near by town. He didn't think it was true, they were all definitely uglier then him and he never got any from any one, but when it was his turn he would laugh sagely, and make up a new story every time.

He imagined Victoria, from the technician unit when he told most of them, changing her name, of course. Anne who was Mr Smith's secretary some other times, and once Stephany with a Y from janitorial who had been very kind to him on his first day. He exaggerated their features, because his dorm mates weren't interested in anyone who wasn't at least an eight and a half. Long slim legs, rocking tits, an ass to die for. He lived on a beach, he had told them, bikini season year round.

Hunk wasn't interested in girls, and Lance was so grateful for that. He was tired. He asked Hunk if he was gay, not that he had a problem with it, just curious, you know, and Hunk told him that he wasn't into guys either. Lance shrugged, you'll grow into it, he said. Hunk looked a bit sick at that, so Lance dropped the subject and took him out for pizza instead. He apologized for being weird, and Hunk shrugged him off.

He wondered what Keith was into. Was it just Shiro, or was Shiro the only thing he had. Lance never thought about fucking another guy, cause obviously he would be on top, duh, but when he, Hunk, and Pidge sat in their blanket fort and tried not to listen to them, the thought had come to mind. It still hasn't left. Was it different from a girl? Probably not, right? It was just anal. Maybe it was easier, since he could definitely see when the guy finished, wouldn't have to worry about being disappointing if he could see the end result.

“Hey, Keith, buddy weird question.”

“Uh, sure..?”

“What's it like?” Lance asked, and Keith leaned back on his hunches.

“What's what like?”

“Fucking a dude? Or, I guess, being fucked by a dude, right?” Lance heard a clatter as Keith dropped his brush on the tile. “To forward?”

“Yeah?!” Keith... uh, shrieks? He looks a bit out of it, a bit hysterical maybe? Did he not know that they all heard him and Shiro that night? Was he hyperventilating? Holy fuck he was. Lance moves closer to him, and Keith jerks back, landing flat on his ass and scrambling away from him. Lance lowers his brush and puts his hands up slowly.

“Sorry, man. Just wondering.” Keith rubs his arms up and down a bit, drags a wet hand through his hair. He's pretty much all wet now, either from the water on the floor or sweat. “You okay?” Keith sighs bodily. Shakes his head, and tries to stop hyperventilating. “Do you need me to get Shiro?” Keith shakes his head violently. “Okay, how about I just wait, and then when you feel better you can tell me, if you want, okay?”

Keith nods slowly, and gasps for air. What was Lance supposed to do in a situation like this? He saw his youngest brother have panic attack once, and he hugged him through it, because familiarity was good, apparently, but he really doesn't think that would apply in this situation. So Lance waits.

“I got shit for it before.” Keith says before letting out a bitter, short laugh. “I, uh. Got jumped in a shower once. It, uh, started like that. With the same question.” He huffs.

“Is that why you dropped out?” Lance would drop out too, if something like that happened to him. God, he would live in a tiny shack in the desert too.

“What? No. It happened in the orphanage.” Keith says.

“Oh.” Lance says. He sits still and looks at Keith again. He looks so small, so not like the guy he launched a mile away from him earlier that day. “Sorry, for, uh, bringing it up.”

“You didn't know.” Keith says and sighs, picking the brush up. “Can you not tell Shiro, though? I mean, I don't know why you would, but he would... you know Shiro.” Not as well as you know him, Lance thinks and nods, picking up his own brush. Keith is wet all over now. He still doesn't seem to mind.

Keith has a wide look in his eye and Lance tries to remember what his brother was like after a panic attack. He had been wide eyed too, tired, kind of gone. What had his uncle called it? Dis... dis.. dislocation? That didn't sound right. “Are you dislocating?” It took as second for Keith to look at him like he was a moron, and yeah, okay, he hated him again.

“What the fuck are you talking about? Do you mean disassociating?”

“Yeah that!”

“Why do you even know what that is?” Keith asks and scrubs at the space mold again.

“My brother did it.”

“You have a brother?”

“I have four. And three sisters.” Lance says proudly. He remembers the apartment they lived in above his mother's bakery. The view of the ocean and the bustling street below them. God he missed them so much.

“What's that like?” Keith asks. Lance figures he's trying to change the topic. It must be uncomfortable for him, he figures.

“It's... busy?” Lance says. He has to think about it for a bit. “You never really get a moment to yourself, and you always have to help someone with something.”

“Sounds hard.”

“It was really great though!” Lance defends. “My mom and my Aunt and Uncle and my Abolita lived with us, so it wasn't that bad. I was the third oldest kid, so I never really got my own room, but my brothers were the best.” He gushed. Keith looks small again and then oh yeah, Lance, you dumbass, he's an orphan.

“I think I might be.” Keith mumbled after a bit.

“What?”

“Disassociating.” He mumbles again. Guess he wasn't going to avoid the subject after all.

“Oh. What's that like?” Lance asks. “My brother said he felt kind of loopy afterwards.”

“Its like...” Keith sits back on his heels again. “You know what it's like when your in the lion, and your, uh, looking down on the planet and you think theres no, no, no way you came from there, cause its so, so small now?” Lance nods. “Well, its kind of like that? But the planet is my body, and my lion is me? It's hard to explain to, uh, someone who's never, never had it happen before.” Keith says. He inches towards Lance and scrubs at another part of the wall.

“So, it's hard to think?”

“Full sentences are hard. I know what I want, to uh, to say, but...”

“Getting the words out is hard? Yeah, my brother said something like that.”

“Lance?” Keith inches closer again. Lance looks up at him, as he stretches up to reach a higher part of the wall. His spine looks long. “Why did you ask, about the, the thing?”

“You mean-”

“The sex thing.” Keith interrupts and puts the brush down.

“I was just thinking about it.”

“You were thinking about me, about me having sex?” Lance stares at him and gets up suddenly, to suddenly, because he feels heat in his cheeks again, and just as he's about to say that it wasn't like that, that he wasn't like that, the bucket by his feet spills over Keith. Keith looks down at himself, dripping now. “It's cold.” He says.

“Sorry.” Lance mumbles, starring down at him. Were his eyes always that big, his lips that full? Must be the angle. And the water. “What are you doing?” Lance asks, and now he sounds a bit hysterical, because Keith tugs his tank top over his head and bunches it together, tossing it into the pseudo-locker room, where the floor is still dry. Lance stares at him, and yeah, he's buffer then he is. That's upsetting. Keith's nipples being hard is also pretty upsetting.

“I, uh, don't want to get sick.” Keith says and stands up to meet Lance again. Lance has maybe two inches on him and it doesn't help. “You were thinking about me having sex?”

“No! I'm not, uh, I was think about fucking a guy.” Lance, what are you doing, you fucking idiot? Shut up! Stop talking. What is wrong with you?

“Me?”

“No! Nope! Not at all!”

“Me and Shiro, then? In my room?”

“Not in the slightest!” Despite himself, he doesn't move away from Keith. Keith waits. “I mean, I heard you. We... all heard you.”

“Yeah?” And all of a sudden, Lance has an association. That was the same Yeah? He has asked Shiro. Is that going to his dick? Yeah, okay, it's going to his dick. Looking at Keith like this was a bad idea. A really very bad, not good at all idea, because he was getting hard, and he was willing to bet money those were Keith's fuck me eyes he was looking into.

“What are you doing?”

“Don't know.” Keith says.

“What? What the fuck does that mean?” Keith just shrugs. “Is that a gay thing? Is that a thing you do?” Keith laughs. He takes another step at him, and Lance does step back now.

“No. Tell me why you were thinking about fucking a guy, Lance.” Where did his spaced out speech pattern go?

“Do you feel better all of a sudden?”

“I have something to concentrate on.” He takes another step, and Lance doesn't move. They are inches away. “Something to ground myself with?”

“What's that?”

“You.” Keith whispers and kisses him.

Lance jolts back, almost shoving him. He doesn't though. Half naked Keith looks confused, but amused at the same time. What the fuck is going on?! He's against a wall now, and thats not a position he wants to be in, he thinks. He doesn't move though, doesn't bolt out of the room, with his half hard dick which apparently chose to have it's crisis of faith now. What happened to wanting to punch this guy? Where were the good old days?

“What about Shiro?” Lance mumbles out, and Keith tilts his head a bit.

“He knows I get like this some times.” Keith says, and rocks on his feet. “I told him I might want to be with you, and he was sort of okay with it?” Was that a thing? What the fuck is going on? Somebody stop the crazy train. “I mean, he would talk to you about it first, obviously, if you were okay with it, and all.” What on God's green earth was happening right now? “We talked about polyamory before.” Keith tells him.

“What is that?” Lance almost asks all the other questions too, but stops himself.

“You don't...? It's like dating multiple people.”

“That's a thing?”

“It's a thing.” Keith says. “Seriously though, why were you thinking about fucking a guy? I thought you were straight? I mean, you hit on the princess like a straight guy.”

“Is there a way straight guys hit on people?”

“Oh, yeah. Relentlessly. I keep on expecting you to say no homo, every time you get in the shower with us.” Keith says, and yeah, okay he's mocking him again. God, this emotional whiplash was going to kill him. “But I guess you're not? Sorry for assuming.” Keith sways back and forth, his eyes staring at Lance's face and then occasionally at his still half hard dick.

“I thought I was.” Lance mumbles. Keith looks up at him wide eyed. Lance has to think about it, and no, he hasn't ever done anything with another guy, even as a joke.

“You're a virgin?” Keith asks.

“Yeah.” Lance is shocked by how easily it is to admit it to the other boy. He's been living the lie for so long now.

“We don't have to do anything now, then. Don't burn your first time.” Keith says. Lance chances a look down, and Keith is also half hard. He wonders what the other boy is thinking. Was he thinking about Shiro? Or Lance? Who did he have his first time with then? It would probably be weird to ask. So instead he asks,

“What do you mean you.. you get like this?”

“I'm hypersexual. It sort of hits in waves, but if nothing happens now, I'll just go find Shiro, it's fine.” Keith stretches his arms around. He says and Lance feels a bit gross all of a sudden.

“We're teenage guys, isn't that normal?”

“Not really. Shiro calls it toxic masculinity. It will get you to think it is. I bet your dorm mates lied about fucking girls all the time, right? When would they even find the time with the academy schedule?” Oh. Lance didn't think of that. It seemed so normal when they talked about it. Lance feels weird. “I'm sorry if I creeped you out, or whatever. I'll go. Don't worry about it. I think we're pretty much done anyway, right?” Keith walks over to pick up his shirt.

“Uh Keith?” Keith turns to look at him.

Lance what are you doing?

“Would you... I don't...”

Lance, stop. Stop it.

“What about a blowjob?”

Fucking Christ in Heaven above, Lance.

“You don't really look comfortable with that.” Keith says. “You don't have to do anything, Lance, It's fine.”

Yes. Good. Give us an out.

“It's not really my first time though, right? A BJ doesn't count?”

LANCE. FUCKING. STOP.

“I think everything counts, Lance.”

Let. It. Go.

“I kind of want to, though.” Keith raises an eyebrow. “I mean, who knows if I'll ever get to, right? We could die any day?” Keith puts his shirt back down.

“If you're sure.” Keith walks over to him, and waits.

“I think I am.” Keith smiles at him.

“Okay. But if you need me to stop, tell me right away, okay? The second you feel bad, or unsafe, or anything.” Lance nods. This seems so much more complicated then porn. Keith kisses him again and whispers in his ear “No homo, though.” Lance snorts pretty hard at that.

“What?” He asks, before Keith kisses him again. It's different this time, a bit hungrier now, he sucks on his lower lip.

“People always feel better, more at ease, when they laugh.” Lance thinks back to that night in Keith shack, while Keith kisses at his jaw gently, and undoes his jeans slowly. He thought it was weird then, nothing like porn, the constant laughing between them. He thought that they must have been doing something wrong if they kept snickering to each other. Now that he thinks about it, though, he likes it. He likes it a lot more then porn.

“You say no homo to every guy you blow?” He whispers and Keith gets down to his knees and tugs his jeans down a bit.

“Only to guys in yellow boxers.” Keith says and Lance looks down, and oh god. Okay. Yeah, those are yellow. Keith laughs a little, quietly. “I like them.” He says. Lance feels warm inside, when Keith says that. This was better then porn writing. How did he get so good at this, at making Lance feel safe when just a minute before his mind was reeling?

Keith pulls his dick out of his boxers, and Lance gasps at the cold air. It was colder then he expected it to be. Keith puts his mouth around the end just like that, and Lance feels a bit lost with out the preamble. When Keith sucks, he feels himself harden immediately. Keith pulls away a bit, and sinks a hand between his legs.

“If you come quick, its fine. Don't feel embarrassed about it.” He says, and just as Lance is about to tell him off for being a dick, Keith licks at the head, and then promptly swallows him down.

“Holy fuck.” He hears Keith snort through his nose, and feels him move up and down his shaft really quickly, before slowing down and taking one long drag up the underside with his tongue. Wasn't gag reflex a thing? He remembered one of his bunk mates say something about it, and Keith leans off.

“You okay, did I do something wrong?” He asks.

“What? No!”

“You softened.” Keith says, and wraps one hand around the base of his dick. He has callouses.

“Sorry. It, uh, it wasn't you.” Keith smiled wide again, and swallowed him entirely. Lance's hands grab Keith's hair and push him deeper. Keith sucks when he does that and Lance doubles over him. Keith moves up and down again, faster, and just as Lance is about to warn him, Keith pulls almost completely off, sucking at just the head again.

Lance cums with a shout, bucking into Keith's mouth, and almost folding over him entirely. He feels Keith swallow around him, and good God, that was... too perfect. Ideal. Better then he imagined. He feels Keith rub a hand up and down his side, and Lance lets go of his hair. When Keith finally stands up his left hand is covered in cum. He walks over to a bucket on the floor and cleans it off.

“That was amazing. It felt great. The best feeling in the world.” Lance mumbles. He has catches his breath slowly.

“Thanks.” Keith says and walks over to pick up his shirt again. “And, thanks for letting me.” He says as he feels at his shirt. Lance guesses it must still be wet, since Keith doesn't put it on.

“Are you going to tell Shiro?”

“Yeah, obviously.” Lance decides that it can't be intentional that time, but it still bugs him. Why does Keith always do that? “He's going to talk to you about it. Don't freak when it happens.” Lance shrugs. It probably sounds worse then it feels. “I'll see you around.” He says. Keith is almost out the door before Lance catches up to him.

“Can I kiss you?” Keith laughs again. Lance decides he likes the laugh.

“Yeah.”

Lance kisses him.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Wow. Why did this get deep? I suck. 
> 
> If you want to tell me how much I suck, you can do so, at my tumblr, which is iamalivenow. 
> 
> I hope you can feel my love. The next chapter will either be about Hunk or Pidge, both a ways into the future from this point. After that there will be a past interjection. It'll be great. So great. 
> 
> <3


	3. This feels wierd.

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Breakfast is weird when you share it with three other people.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hi. hello. Thank you so much for the love.
> 
> This is Shiro/Keith/Lance and Hunk/Keith (platonicly*). Its ger8 <3
> 
> not beta'd
> 
> Hope you like it, and thank you for spending your time here

Hunk has never been into anyone before. He never went in for that sort of thing, girls or guys. He remembered with Lance had asked him what he preferred when they first met, and he didn't really know how to handle it. He just shrugged, and Lance took him out for pizza so he didn't complain. He knew Lance was into girls, and Keith and Shiro were into each other, and Pidge... maybe Pidge was like him, because he never saw Pidge talking about it either. 

So when he sees Keith walk out of his room and into the little couch lounge set thing in the the middle of the room he was sitting in, in one of his shirts he feels weird. Keith's hair is down flat from a shower, and he doesn't seem to be wearing anything under Hunk's shirt. It's like a dress on him. His legs and feet are bare, and his tan is mostly gone by now, three months in space did that to people. His legs are long. 

“Hey, uh, Keith, buddy, what are you wearing?” Keith stopped in his tracks and looked down, almost as if this was the first time he was seeing the shirt. He looked back up at Hunk and shrugged. 

“You don't mind, right? All of my clothes are dirty and they're cleaning right now. I saw your shirt drying and kind of acted on auto pilot.” He says and turns to look at him. Hunk doesn't know what he's supposed to do so he shakes his head. “Thanks man.” Keith says and walks to the door which led to the kitchen. “Did you make breakfast yet?”

“I just got up.” He said. “I can, if you want.” Hunk got up to, and Keith waited for him by the door. Keith ended up walking through it first and Hunk watched his legs. Did he shave his legs? Hunk could barely see any hair on them, but maybe it was the lighting. They were well toned too. 

“Did you see Lance fight Coran yesterday?” Keith asked out of nowhere. “Coran kicked his ass.” Hunk hadn't in fact. He had heard Lance complain about something all night from the neighboring room though. Hunk kept watching Keith's legs though, the way they bent and how there was a little spring at the end of his step. 

“What do you want for breakfast?” Hunk asked as they entered the kitchen. He grabbed the nozzle. “I know there's a lot of variety, so choose wisely.” Keith laughed. It was a soft noise. The same noise he heard that night in Keith's shack. Keith jumps on a bar stool and folds his long legs under himself. What the hell is going on with him? 

“I'll have what you're having.” Keith says, and his spine seems to straighten. He drums his fingers on the counter. Hunk wonder what his legs feel like. All of this is very much a first. Keith spins a bit in his chair, and when Hunk is done he digs in automatically. 

“You're really hungry, huh?” Hunk asks and eats his own goo. 

“Yeah, I'm like that after a long night.” Keith says and Hunk half expects him to wink. He doesn't. Maybe he meant training. He probably meant training. 

“I slept great.” Hunk says. “Best in a while.” Keith smiles at him and shovels more food into his mouth. 

“Thats good.” 

“Yeah.”

Why is this suddenly awkward. Is it awkward? This sucks, what ever this is. Sucks a lot. 

“Heeeeeeeeeey.” Lance's voice breaks the silence as he strolls into the kitchen loudly and sits next to Keith. Which... is also weird. “Hows breakfast.” Keith shrugs, and Hunk shrugs too, a delayed reaction. “Well, if its that great.” Lance grabs a spoon and steels Keith's bowl from him. 

“Get your own.” Keith says, and yanks it back. A bit of the goo splashes onto his face. Lance leans over, Keith seems to realize what's about to happen and sticks his arms up. “Don't be gross.” He says and gets up to get a napkin. Lance whistles. Yeah, Hunk feels gross again. 

“Your legs are amazing, dude. You should model.” What? 

“Don't be gross.” Keith says again, and in the process of getting a napkin apparently also getting Lance food. 

“I'm serious. Hunk, aren't his legs great? Is that your shirt, by the way? Why don't you wear my clothes?” He whines. 

“Your clothes are dirty. You never clean them. Don't bully Hunk, either.”

“Your legs are nice, though.” Hunk says quietly and both of them freeze up across from him. Lance recovers first, slapping Keith on the back. 

“See!” Keith turns red. “Whoa! I've never seen you do that before!” Keith seemed to turn redder, sitting ram rod straight, his hands bunching in his lap. Hunk has only seen his sister do that once, when they were in a park and her now husband preposed. Last he knew they were happily married. His sister might have even gotten pregnant, if her cryptic letter was anything to go by before they left. He missed them. “I'm jealous.” Lance sighed happily. 

Keith decked him in the shoulder. “I'm sorry, Hunk. Ignore him.” Lance groaned, rubbing at it. Lance was in his blue robe and slippers, so he looked even more ridiculous the usual when he pouted. 

“What, no! I'm the best! Why are you such a dick in the mornings?” Hunk stared at Lance in confusion. Keith was always nice to him. 

At this point Shiro walked in and sat next to Keith, bending over the counter, apparently still asleep. Shiro was not a morning person, which everyone always found surprising without fail. Keith put a hand on his back, rubbing little circles gently. “Are you alright?” He asked and Shiro grumbled something. “Do you want food?” Shiro didn't say anything. 

“How come your not that nice to me?” Lance whined again. Keith nudged him as he moved past him to grab another bowl. 

“You don't deserve it.” Keith said over the whir of the nozzle. He swings back. Hunk watches them. They way Keith cares for Shiro and the way he cares for Lance is very different, but if Hunk had to guess they were... together? Their relationship has definitely changed, and in Hunk's limited experience that usually meant either a life or death thing, or a sex thing. 

He was pretty sure he would know about a life or death thing. Would it be rude to ask? Was Keith cheating on Shiro? Keith didn't seem the type. Or, maybe he was the type, he didn't know him that well, after all. How well can you know someone after three months? 

“Shiro! Keith is being mean to me!” Lance whines again, with the bowl in his hands. Shiro doesn't answer and just sort of roles over on the other side. Hunk snorts and Keith looks up at him again. He smiles at him, and Hunk... blushes? Was he blushing? What? “Nobody loves me! Hunk! Do you love me?” Hunk shrugs, and Keith snorts before laughing bodily. Lance groans. “Are you flirting? Is this you flirting?” 

“What?” Shiro asks. “Who's flirting.” He seemed to be awake now, holding a spoon. “What are you wearing?” It looks like Shiro finally noticed Keith. 

“Hunk's shirt. My stuff was dirty. No one is flirting.” Shiro seemed to be more awake all of a sudden. His hand disappeared under the counter. Hunk couldn't see what he was doing, but Keith got pretty red again. 

“Are you wearing something under that?” Lance asked, more interested again, in Keith's legs. He did have very nice legs, aesthetically speaking. Hunk considered leaving the room. 

“He is. Barely.” Shiro says, and Lance whistles again. Since when was Lance into men? Since when was Shiro okay with someone ogling his boyfriend? What is going on? Shiro's hand started moving quicker.

“Guys, your making Hunk uncomfortable.” Keith says as he squirms in his seat. 

“I think Hunk doesn't mind, right?.” Shiro says. Why did his voice get deeper. Hunk didn't respond just watched as Keith grabbed the table with his hands. 

“Yes he does.” Keith said, harsher now, his voice getting breather. 

“I'm okay. Don't mind me.” Hunk mumbles. Keith grabs Shiro's hand now, and puts it on the table. Shiro and Lance look taken aback. 

“You're ace, though.” And all of a sudden Shiro looks sick. Lance just looks confused.

“Uh.” Hunk says and feel uncomfortable all of a sudden. “Yeah.” He says. “I guess.” 

“I'm sorry Hunk.” Shiro apologizes. He looks like he means it. 

“It's uh, it's fine. How did you know?” Keith shrugged. “It's fine though. I'm uh, I'm fine. I'm not, you know. Repulsed.” Hunk mumbles. Keith is still pretty red. Lance continues to look very confused. Shiro sighs. 

“I am sorry.” Shiro says again. 

“It's fine.” Hunk puts his hands up. “I'll go.” 

“You're fine, right?” Keith says all of a sudden. Hunk nods again. “Don't.” He says. Hunk is continually confused by this wild ride he has gotten on to. Keith, very slowly, grabs Shiro's hand and puts it back his leg. Lance takes this as an invitation and puts his hand on Keith's other leg. Oh wow. Okay. This is happening. 

Shiro's hand moves up and under Hunk's shirt, rest at Keith's chest, and Lance seems to be preoccupied with Keith's thigh. As his hand slides up he whistles again. “Nice panties dude.” Keith swings an arm and it connects with Lance's chest. Keith turns about the same red that his jacket is. Apparently, Keith wears panties. Was this a constant thing? “I mean, for that.” Lance tugs upwards and Keith lets out a gasp. “I think we have to get them dirty.” Shiro hums appreciatively at the idea. 

“Guess we do.” Hunk watches as Shiro tugs at Keith's nipples. Judging by the look on his face he likes it a lot. He's breathing through his mouth now, and wow thats a nice noise. 

What?

At that point Shiro abandons Keith's nipples and joins Lance at his legs. “Fuck.” Keith groans. “You guys suck.” He grabs the table with both of his hands again, white knuckled. He's bent over a bit. The other two are working very hard at him. Keith looks up and meets Hunk's eyes for a second before dropping the gaze. 

“Come on.” Shiro whispers. “Come for us.” Keith grits his teeth even harder. “You know you want to.” Shiro says, and it looks like he twists his arm a bit. “You put on such a nice show.” 

“F-fuck.” Keith grits out. 

“So pretty for us, mm? I bet even Hunk likes it, right?” Keith looks up at him with wide eyes, and Hunk nods. He hasn't taken his eyes off of the scene, even though he definitely feels like he should have. “So pretty for us. For all of us.” Lance groans in what Hunk thinks is affirmation. “Let yourself go.” Keith lets out a deep breath. 

“Yeah?”

“Absolutely.” Lance says. “Fucking perfect, like fucking always dude. Chill.” Keith lets out a sigh and leans his head back slowly. With a low moan, it looks like he bucks his hips up, and Lance cheers. While Keith levels out the other two go wash their hands. 

After a bit they look at Keith and then at Hunk and then at Keith again. “We'll be in your room, okay?” Keith nods. He seems inordinately tired. They leave. 

“Sorry for getting your shirt dirty.” Hunk turns back at him. “And for ruining breakfast.” 

“Uh, no, its cool. Keep it.” 

“Hmm. Nah.” Keith shakes his head. “I like it when it smells like you.” 

What?

“Thanks though.” He gets up and walks over to him. “For being so sweet and understanding over it.” He get on his toes and kisses Hunk on the cheek. 

“...yeah?” 

“Mm. I'll se you later.” Keith says and walks out the room. Hunk touches the spot where Keith's lips touched. 

Alright. Sure. That's a thing now. 

Hunk figures he doesn't mind.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> fun times all around, am i right or am i right. 
> 
> Anyway as always, my tumblr is iamalivenow. bother me. by all means, bother me. 
> 
> Next time Pidge and Allura? sure. it'll be great. maybe. who knows. 
> 
> <3


	4. let me wreck you

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Two different people have a different conversation in a different shower that goes to different places.
> 
>  
> 
> warnings: Self Hatred

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So, Allura/Pidge chapter. 
> 
> Okay, two things, right away, Allura's age and Pidge's identity. 
> 
> So with Allura, I'm taking her age as a sort of Aang the last airbender deal, where yes she techinically is 10000 years old, but since she was in stasis, she's still mentally her original age, which for the sake of this will be 17 and a half, almost 18.   
> Pidge, I headcannon as nonbinary, using female pronouns 80% of the time. 
> 
> Cool. We got that out of the way. GG
> 
> So, I'm trying at Romance. Will I fail? Probably. Will I try anyway? you bet. 
> 
> Oh and someone on tumblr, anon, asked me about why some titles were capitalized and some weren't. That's my shitty attempt at trying to be in character. thank you.
> 
> Anyway, thank you for spending time with this <3

Pidge watches Allura fight the robot from the viewing room about her. Coran left to try and see if there was anyway to build a stronger bot for her to fight, since she knocked the last three out like they were bugs. She was handicapping herself now, only fighting with one hand. Pidge pulled typed away at the monitor in front of her, looking at old Galran trading routes the castle had in its archives. 

Cross-referencing was supposed to be fun. Pidge was a communications officer, right? This was supposed to be a walk in the park. The bread and butter of the trade. Right?

God, this fucking sucked.

Watching Allura was a lot more fun then staring at outdated maps and trying to figure out if they stopped moving that way because there were no more resources there, of if they had a closer base of operations, or... or... or whatever. Fuck this. They lived in a magic space castle, why was Pidge the one who had to do this? What was this nonsense. There was a loud clang, and another robot went flying into a wall. 

“Go Allura.” Pidge muttered. Her eyes were starting to water. “Okay. Enough.” She pushed the monitor away, and moved to the chair where the main control panel for the training room was. Pidge pushed a button with a little microphone icon on it. “Allura?” 

Allura stopped for a second, before looking up at her through the glass. Pidge waved and Allura waved back. “Hello, Pidge. Would you like to train?”

“I don't know.” Pidge shrugged. “You mind if I try something out on the dash?”

“Go right ahead!” Pidge looked at the thing under her hands. With the inability to read Altean, Pidge cracked her knuckles, smiled, and began pushing everything. Allura let out a shriek and when Pidge looked down the robot was on fire. 

Well, that was a challenge right? Allura swung at it with her great staff and it still went flying. Okay. Pidge could do better. She hit more buttons, and then there was a robot with six arms swinging at the princess at full might. It took longer, but still, it only lasted a minute. 

“Pidge, I don't really now if what you are doing is a good idea...” 

“Relax! You said this was meant for children, right?” Pidge pushed more buttons. More robots came pouring out of the vents. Pidge watched as Allura fought as hard as she could. Pidge could tell it wasn't really a challenge. Not 100% really. So she sent in more. And more. And more. It was fun to watch Allura slowly become disheveled, her hair coming out of her pony tail, bun thing. Was that sweat? Was her make up finally, for the first time ever, smearing? 

“Pidge, maybe we should stop?!” Was that hysteria in her voice? 

“Nah, it's great. You're leading by example.” She said, and pushed more buttons for more robots. More flaming, multi-armed robots. Nice. 

“Pidge!” Allura yelled, loudly, desperately, and finally Pidge pushed the off switch which Coran had showed all of them, just to be safe. 

Looking at Allura, gasping for breath, barely able to hold the great staff, Pidge smiled wide. God, it felt good to do that. To absolutely wreck her. A horrible feeling crept up her spine. She wanted to do it again. “You alright, princess?” She asked, instead, in the sweetest voice she could muster. 

“I'm fine, Pidge. Why did you do that?”

“Well, it's just, Coran went and tried to find a way to make the practice room harder for you, and I figured I'd save him the effort, you know?” Cause, yeah. That was Pidge. Always accommodating. Allura huffed. 

“Of Course.” She has stray hairs everywhere, cupping her face in a weird lopsided halo. The little pink triangles smudged down and look like weird tears. She's still breathing hard. Why is she still so pretty? Why is she always so pretty? Ugh. “Well, I think I'm going to go shower.”

“Wait!” 

Wait what, Pidge. What now?

“I'll come with you?”

“You can go where ever you like Pidge, you know that.” Allura said, smiling. Was it easy for her to be like this, or was this years of training drilled into her by the crown. It must be at least partially her training. No one was this perfect all the time. Ugh. 

“Right, right. But can I shower with you? I bet you have a nicer bathroom then we do. Come on, pleeeeeaaaaase?” She said doing her best Lance impression, because if it worked on Keith it would work on anyone. 

“All right, if its just the once, and as long as you feel comfortable.”

“Why wouldn't I?” 

“Oh, uh.” Allura seemed to turn a bit red and shrugged. “I'm alien after all.”

“Yeah, so?” Pidge shrugged and started walking. Allura's rooms were further then the paladin's were. Allura caught up to her easily, her legs were longer. “Do I make you uncomfortable, princess?”

“What? No! No, no no no no. Thats not... it.” She back pedaled pretty hard. 

“So then what's wrong?”

“Oh, uh.” She turned a bit red. “Right, well, as the princess of Altea.” She said, walking a bit further then Pidge. “I've never had anyone look at me.” She mumbled. 

“What? I'm looking at you right now. Did one of the training bots hit your head? Should I call Coran?”

“No!” She sighed, obviously frustrated. It's a shame Pidge couldn't see her face. “No, I meant ...” She mumbled something so quite Pidge, who was three steps behind her, couldn't hear. 

“What was that?”

“Naked. No body has ever seen me naked.” 

???

“How about one more time for the people in the back.” Allura sighed, and dragged a hand through her hair, undoing the bun. Pidge watched it cascade over her shoulders. 

“In Altean culture, it is illegal for anyone to view the princess in a state of undress except for her future husband.” Naked. She meant naked. Wait, so Pidge was going to be the first to ever see her naked? Oh boy howdy, Lance was going to be sooooo jealous. If she was Lance she would whistle. She should, though, right? For Lance?

“Well, we don't have to, if it makes you uncomfortable, princess.” 

“No, it's. It's fine.”

When they get to her room, Pidge looses her shit. It's massive. Bigger then her living room on earth, and a bed takes up half that space. Royalty has it's perks, clearly. The bed looks like the most comfortable thing she's ever seen and only with the strength she didn't know she had, does she resist jumping on it. “Nice room.”

“My home in Altea had a better one, but we must all make due.” Pidge resisted the urge to grab Allura and take her to her room, just so she could see how well they were making due. “Would you like some of my clothes?” Pidge looked at Allura who was in her closet. All of them were dresses. 

“I don't think I'd fit in any of them.” Pidge said. Allura nods. 

“My apologizes.” Allura walked past her into the bathroom, that was apparently attached to her room. Pidge followed her, and no, it wasn't a bathroom it was the fancy royal version of the locker room they had. “Shall... uh, shall we?” Pidge shrugged, she grabbed her green sweater and pulled it over her head. 

She began to undo the buttons and zipper when she looked at Allura who stared at her. She looked pretty when she blushed like that. Lance would be so jealous oh boy howdy. Pidge shrugs, and undoes the buttons. Allura keeps staring. “Comparing anatomy?”

Allura pivots on her toes and stares at the wall. Pidge laughs a bit and tugs her cargo shorts down. She steps out of them, then leaning over and pulling her socks off and sneakers off. She grabs her tank top and pulls it off too. She doesn't wear a bra. She's never had need for it, way to flat for it, and her nipples never got sensitive. It sure helped while she was infiltrating, explaining away a bra would have been a nightmare. 

She chanced a look at Allura, who pulled of her plug suit and wore.... very weird underwear. Well, weird in space was relative, but her... bra? Looked more like a bandeau then something that was intended to give support. She wore a similar band around her hips. Maybe that was her combat gear? Pidge thought about Altean anatomy for a second. Was this going to be a lot more weird then necessary? No, probably not. She had mammary glands. 

Pidge slipped her boxers of and waited for Allura. When Allura turned around and looked at her, and blushed so hard her entire chest turned darker in blotches. “Do- Do females no have-?”

“We all have different sizes. Mine never developed fully.” She says. Usually she would be attempting to cover herself, but if it made Allura more comfortable, if she could see Allura naked, then by all means. “It's fine.” She says. 

“R-right.” Allura let out a deep sigh. 

“If you don't want to-”

“I do!” Allura insisted. She reached inside her bandeau and it split down the middle, coming apart. Good lord in heaven above, being stuck in space was worth it all of a sudden. How soft did they feel? Was it wrong to want to mash your face into those. She wished Lance was her, so when she would say to hot, he echo back hot damn. Hot damn indeed. God. Pidge felt herself turn red. 

Why was she so perfect? Much more importantly, though, Pidge was literally the first person to see Allura naked. When Allura undid the band on her hip, Pidge only partially hoped for some distinctly not human anatomy. She was disappointed in the best way possible. Also, apparently the princess shaved. 

“Pidge?” Right. Yep. Back to reality. 

“Yeah? Where's the actual shower?” She took off her glasses.

“This way.” Allura said and walked through an archway. She didn't cover herself, and her ass was the stuff of dreams. 

“Right.” She said and stalked after her. Hate to watch her go, love to watch her leave, was that what Lance had said the other day? God, Lance was going to kill her. And she wouldn't even mind. “Hey, uh, hot showers or cold showers?” 

“Oh, hot, I suppose? What about yourself?”

“I don't really care. The academy showers were always freezing by the time I got there.” She had to sneak out of bed to shower in the dark. It sort of sucked. She slipped more times then she would ever want to admit. 

“That's unfortunate.' Allura said and fiddled with a nob at the wall. The room itself was smaller, but there were still three shower heads, maybe for maids, if Alteans had those. Ladies in waiting, maybe? It wasn't cramped by any means. “I used to take cold showers after spending days with my father out in the garden in the summers. It was always sweltering then, in the summer.” 

“What was that like?” Pidge asked. “Also, soap?”

“Oh, yes. Soap.” Allura handed her a … sponge? It was a small blue ball. Allura used a similar one.   
“It was... my favorite place in the whole universe.” Allura sounded sadder as she talked. “On the day of my birth, the garden was first planted, and so-”

“You grew up with the flowers?” That did sound nice. Very, exceedingly nice. 

“Oh, yes! It was... spectacular, Pidge.” Pidge nodded. 

“My father told me that I would command an armada one day.” She said out of nowhere. Pidge heard Allura turn to look at her, but she stared at the ground instead. “I wanted to go with him and Matt on the expedition, the one that Shiro was one instead. And he sat me down, probably just to convince me otherwise, but he sat me down and he told me, 'Katie, on day you're going to be a commander of more ships then the eye could see.'. I was stupid enough to believe him.” 

“Pidge, no, I'm sure your father meant ever word.”

“But he left. He left anyway. He left me. And know he's gone.” Pidge wrapped her arms around herself and sank to her knees. Why now? “And then I left my mom alone. Oh, god, my mom.” She bent her head over, and felt water soak through it. 

“Pidge...”

“I am such a fuck up. I am such. a. fuck up.” Pidge said. “Fuck.” She was crying now. “Fuck!” She smashed her fist against the tile floor and it hurt a lot. “Fuck!” She was wailing. A pair of bare feet walked over to her, and Allura bent over, a hand on her back. Thin and delicate and “I fucking suck so much.” Pidge groaned out. “I can't even be a girl right.”

“Pidge, you don't have to be a girl if you don't want to be.” Her voice was so soft. 

“How can you say that when you look like you! You're perfect and I'm... I'm me. F-f-uck.” She whined low in her throat. It burned. Every part of her burned.

“I'm not perfect Pidge.” The hand moved up and down her back now. “I'm not.”

“You are!”

“No, I'm not. I'm not at all, Pidge. I put on a front for you, and for the other paladins and for Coran, but when I'm alone I cry. I cry all the time. But you, your so much braver then me. I don't think I'd ever be able to cry in front of another person.” Allura soothed at her. 

“Oh yeah.” She gasped out. “A true mark of fucking bravery.”

“It is though. I know you don't think it is, but I would never be able to do that. I would never be able to do any of the things you do, that you went through.” Pidge just cried for a long time after that, Allura comforting her as best she could. After a while, Allura picked her up and took her back to the locker room, wrapped her in one of the softest towels she's ever felt and let Allura pull her to the bed. 

Allura sat with her feet curled under her, and she positioned Pidge so she had her head in Allura's lap. “Go ahead.” She said, and pet at her hair. Pidge burst into tears again. It was a long time before either of them talked again, Pidge shaking, trying to contain the sobs, and Allura gently, so fucking gently, rubbing at her hair, her shoulders, her spine. 

“The last time someone touched me like this it was my mom.” Pidge mumbled after what could have been five minutes, or could have been five hours. The bed really was as soft as she imagined it to be. 

“I never knew my mother.” Allura whispered back, still petting. “She died after having me. My father told me what she was like though, a lot like me, apparently.” Pidge let out a deep breathe. They sat in silence for a bit after that. Well, sat, one of them sat, Pidge just lay like a lump. “My father always told me that crying made you feel better.”

“I don't feel better.”

“Give it time.” Allura said, and then after a bit, “You don't have to be a girl Pidge.”

“I know.” Pidge said, and sort of nuzzled into Allura's leg. “Shiro already gave me the talk. I like what I am now, which is neither, I think. Shiro explained it really well. I uh, I just... I'm sorry.” Pidge mumbled. “I think it all just erupted at once.”

“That's alright, Pidge. That happens. I'm just happy that you trust me enough to take care of you.”

“Oh god.” Pidge mumbled into Allura's leg. “You don't even know why I came in here with you. I'm worse then Lance.” 

Allura laughed and brushed her fingers through Pidge's hair. “No one is worse then Lance.” And Pidge smiled a lot. “Why did you come with me then?

“I wanted to seduce you.” Pidge said and then bared her face into Allura's lap when she laughed. 

“Really?” Pidge just nodded into the legs in front of her. “And how were you going to do that.”

“God, don't make me say it.” Pidge felt herself turning red. 

“Please do. I'm quite curious about human courting rituals.”

“I wasn't going for courting, just seduction. Oh my god, why did I say that out loud.” Allura laughed. It wasn't mean spirited in the slightest, and she felt Allura's hand resume it's rotations. “I was going to offer to scrub your back.”

“Oh! And then?”

“I was going to 'accidentally,'” Pidge did the air quotes and everything, and she felt Allura laugh this time, her stomach shaking lightly. “Reach around.”

“How forward.” Allura gasped in between laughter. 

“Yeah. Then you would have been shocked, turned around to, I don't know, slap me or something, and then I would have kissed you. It would have been so great.” 

“Yeah?” She could barely breath. 

“Oh, definitely! I bet you've never been kissed as good as I would have kissed you.” Allura smiled, and calmed down a bit. 

“Well that wouldn't have been hard.” Allura said, and Pidge rolled onto her back, starring up at her now. “I've never been kissed at all.”

“What?! No way!”

“Is this really so surprising?” Allura turned a bit red. 

“I mean, have you seen yourself? Of course it's surprising! Who didn't kiss you? Who said no to you! I'll fight em. I'll fight them right now! I will make a time machine and I will punch them in the face!” She had sat up onto her knees and stared at Allura intently. She meant it. She meant every fucking word of it. Allura all of a sudden burst into another laughing fit and Pidge felt something click in her heart. 

Oh.

Oh no. 

No. 

Stop. 

Abort Mission.

Mission Abort Failed. 

Critical Mass Reached. 

Fuck

When Allura stopped laughing, Pidge scooted closer to her, until she was on her knees and an inch away from her face. She fumbled her glasses back on and looked at her. Really looked at her. “Pidge?”

I think I'm in love with you, Pidge didn't say. I'm sure I am, she didn't continue. “Fuck.” She did say and leaned forward, until her lips met Allura's. It wasn't a soft kiss either, it was much needier then a first kiss ever should be. But Pidge didn't stop until she needed air. When she pulled away Allura was blushing violently. 

“I don't think anyone on Altea kissed like that.” She said, a hand moving up her lips. Pidge quickly covered her's with her hand. 

“I'm so sorry.”

“Pidge-”

“I can't believe I just, fuck, I'm sorry.” Pidge mumbled and tried to get off and away from the best before Allura grabbed her hand. 

“I liked it.” She said, and all of a sudden Pidge's world slid to a halt.

“Really?”

“I mean, I have no metric to judge it by, but I'm sure- mph.” Pidge was kissing her again, and this time, it was much more a joint activity. Allura trying her hardest to keep up. When the separated again, Pidge straddled her hips, grabbed Allura's face with her hands, and kissed again. They were the same height this way. 

They kissed for a few minutes, Pidge pulling out all the stops. Bitting Allura's lip, sucking on her tongue just a little, putting little pecks in between the heavy make out. Allura's lips were as soft as Pidge thought they were. She smelled like her soap, something oaky, and a hint of smoke, and something sweet she couldn't place. 

Pidge's left hand slid down from her face, to her neck and then past her arm to her back, leaned her to a bit. Allura... moaned? Yes, that was a moan, and it was the sweetest noise Pidge has ever heard. Her hand moved down until it met Allura's on the bed, and twisted her fingers into Allura's grasp. 

Allura put a hand, her left, the right one still holding Pidge's hand, between them when Pidge pulled away. They were both gasping, a bit red. “Pidge.” She says serious, all of a sudden, and Pidge feels a bit sick. 

“Yeah?”

“I liked it. A lot. I never imagined it would be like this, my first kiss. With a girl, in the middle of space, so exhilarating.” Allura mumbles out and she's breathy. Her hair is a mess again. The little triangles haven't been reapplied. Yeah, this was the look she wanted again. This was when Allura, the princess of Altea, was the prettiest. 

“But.” Pidge supplied, because really, she was getting ahead of herself. 

“But... I want to slow down. It's... it's a lot, all at once.” Pidge must have looked like she was kicked in the shin because Allura leaned forward and kissed her, gently. “I want more.” She whispered, and a hand found it's self on Pidge's hip. She rocked forward a little and there was a sharp intake of breath. “But, I'm a princess of Altea, and there is a way we do these sorts of things.” 

“And how would that be, princess of Altea?”

“Court me.” She whispers. 

“Do you want to get space married?” Pidge asks. She didn't think she would be the marrying type. 

“No, no, it doesn't have to be like that if you don't want to. It doesn't have to be anything you don't want it to be.” Allura assured, and the left hand rubbed little circles on Pidge's shoulder. “There is an order to these things is all, and if I don't follow the order, I think I might...”

“Yeah?”

“I think I might do very adult things very quickly.” Pidge did whistle then. For Lance. It was only right. 

“If you promise.”

“Pidge.” 

“Yes, Allura?” Allura kissed her again, nipped at her lip a fair measure. 

“Let's do this again some time.” Pidge burrowed her head into Allura's neck and smiled. 

“Not the crying part right?”

“I liked the kissing part a bit more, I think.” Pidge kissed her neck, very gently. Just little pecks, until she was level with her again. Allura was more beautiful then anyone she had ever seen before. 

“Can I tell Lance?” 

When Allura shoved her on the floor, Pidge laughed and laughed and laughed.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey, they didn't fuck this time, I lied to you, I'm sorry. The chapter was originally going to go the way Pidge tells Allura she was going to seduce here, and then that would have been all. But then I decide that felt gross. So, this instead. I'm sorry for no sex. 
> 
> Complain about it on my tumblr, its iamalivenow, sup, hi. 
> 
> Next time will be a first time *wink wonk* but I havn't decided who's first time yet.
> 
> See you around. 
> 
> <3


	5. The Best Nurse

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Lance almost falls of a cliff, but it's okay, cause Keith is there to make him all better.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> AH, okay so. 
> 
> Keith/Lance first time. 
> 
> This is over 7000 words and I'm really sorry. It meanders a lot more then it probably should but i mean its here right? Yeah. 
> 
> In terms of timeline, if anyone wants it, it goes chapter 1, 4, 2, 5, 3 as of right now. btw. 
> 
> Guys, it's fifteen fucking pages long. I'm sorry. Please don't expect this again. 
> 
> Thank you, though, for spending time with this.
> 
> nto beta'd <3

“Just keep running!” Shiro yelled through the comms. While they were on an offsite mission, far away from both Earth and Arus, a Galra scout saw them. And yeah, it wasn't surprising that the Galra did see them, Keith thought. They weren't subtle in the slightest. “They were already half way from home, they'll run out of fuel first!” Okay. Not the best plan in the world.

“I think I know how their tracking us.” Pidge yelled as well. The yelling wasn't really necessary, the situation was stressful enough, but what ever. “It's our comms. They're emitting a high frequency that their triangulating. I tested them a month a go with the downed ship. It's super loud to- fuck! Get of my ass!” 

“Cut the comms then!” Shiro interjected. “Radio silence. Wait out a day, and then only your helmets.”

“What, just lose each other?!” Keith watched as Lance crashed his Lion into a tree top. 

“Yeah, that doesn't seem like a good idea, Shiro... AH!” Hunk had a missile drop a few meters ahead of him.

“Anyone have any better ideas?” Radio silence. “Then that's what we do. Try to lose them as best you can. Talk tomo-” Shiro got cut off by something that turned into a high pitched screech. Keith felt something contract inside of him. He was the furthest away from the ship, and simply stopped in motion as best as he could, letting his Lion stop under a massive grove. 

It wasn't far from a canyon, so he had room to run if he needed to. He turned the comm off, and brought the lion to as full a break as he could. Red trilled around him quietly. “Yeah, this is stupid.” Keith tugged off his helmet and leaned back in his chair. “Really stupid.” He rubbed his face in his hands. 

What was he supposed to do for the next day other then try to not lose his mind? He had gotten so used to the constant noise, the closeness of his team that being alone was going to drive him up a wall. Lance always wanted some piece and quite, but Keith had more then enough of that while he sat in a shack in a desert waiting for Shiro to come back, lurking around massive caves almost constantly. 

“I know I'm not really alone.” He told Red when she groaned indignantly. “I didn't forget you, I just... You know.” Red purred around him, and Keith felt safe. They really were massive cats most of the time. He never had one before, but he thinks he would have liked one. He wished Red was small enough for him to wrap his arms around. 

Well, nothing to do for hours then, no where to go either. Might as well figure out how to convert the pilot chair into a leaning flat thing because he was not looking forward to sleeping on the floor. He had enough of that before. He considered going into Red's inner workings but decided rather quickly against it. If he were to fuck anything up there would be literally nothing to do about it. 

Pidge and Hunk had tried to figure out how the Lions worked, but there was just way to much of it. He liked how complex they were, how much respect they garnered from anyone who knew about Voltron. How much respect Red commanded. After a self satisfied purr from her, Keith stood up, popping his joints as he went. 

“Ow.” He said. “I know I need to stretch more.” He wondered if all of the paladins heard their Lions as clearly as he heard Red. Maybe not, considering he was the only one who had to prove himself to her. The other Lions just let them in, but he and Red, they had to work for it. “I'm proud of you too.” He whispered. She was so kind to him sometimes. 

“Do you think Shiro's okay?” Red didn't do anything for a bit. “I mean, with the noise. Didn't that sound like metal crashing to you?” No, it didn't, don't be ridiculous, Red informed him. Black Lion is the one with the best construction. Virtually indestructible. “Yeah, your right.” Red assured him that she was always right, don't be ridiculous, cub. Please. 

“I'm sorry for doubting you.” He laughed. It felt like she was laughing too. Keith loved her so much. Shiro was the only other person to illicit such a strong emotional response from him. Good, Red told him, if he pilots the Black Lion, then you deserve him. “Thanks.” He told her, and got down on his hunches to try and finagle the chair to lean back. “Why do you think so highly of the Black Lion?”

No reason not to. It is the second best one, after all. “After you?” Obviously. Keith pushed at the chair, but it didn't budge. There didn't seem to be any button to do what he wanted either. “Fuck.” He muttered. “What about the Blue Lion?” Nothing to write home about, I assure you. Keith snorted a little. “Harsh.” Red just pushed forward content at him. He found something that looked like a ball socket at the base of the chair. 

“He isn't that bad, you know. A bit confusing and self centered, but he's okay.” I thought we were talking about the Lion, not the boy piloting it. “Don't judge me.” She chided him slightly. “Blue can't be that bad, is what I'm saying.” Sure. “What about Yellow?” Strong. “What, that's it?” Pidge had given all of them a little hand kit, and all he had to do was remember what bin he had left that in. 

That is a compliment. “Ah.” Keith sat on the floor in front of the section of pull out bins trying to jog his memory. “And Green?” She is the left hand. The shield. “So better or worse then Blue?” Red had to think about it. We are better then both. Keith laughed again. “Never doubted that.” He said, and Red purred around him. He crawled forward and decided it was either the upper left or the lower left. 

Upper left produced a blanket and a pillow. Hunk probably left that there for him. The lower left was, yeah there it was, the tool kit and the first aid. Nice. He slid over to the base of the chair and began to work. 

It had been about twenty minutes with out any success, the joint was really stuck in there, before a proximity alarm went off. In an instance, Keith was back in the pilot's seat, scanning and monitoring. Nothing, nothing, nothing.... Lance? It looked like Lance. Where was Blue though? And did Lance look hurt? 

He was out of Red a minute later, crossing the distance to, yes, it was Lance, the scan confirmed, the limping paladin. “What happened?” 

“Well, after I crashed into a tree,” Keith dodged under Lance's arm and supported his weight of his hurt ankle, “which I totally meant to do, by the way, to confuse the Galra.” Keith rolled his eyes. “Everyone went dark, and I kind of parked Blue down the canyon, into a cave in the cliffside. Getting out went a little wrong, is all.” 

“Is all? What did you trip on?”

“I didn't trip on anything!” Lance huffed and almost pulled away from Keith in the process. “The cliff was more weathered then I thought, and a piece of it didn't really, you know, support my weight that well.” That would explain the scraps on his left side. “Anyway, it doesn't matter, cause I found you, and that was the plan anyway.” 

“I bet.” Keith said, and Red opened up for him. 

“It was! You, uh, wouldn't happen to have a first aid kit, would you?”

“Hunk left one for me, yeah.” Keith said, and helped Lance into the pilot seat. What is this? “Red, please.” He went to retrieve the first aid kit from the lower left bin. Is this going to lead to something you will regret tomorrow? “Who knows.” Red laughed again. 

“Whoa! What was that?” Keith spun the chair from the dash so that he would have more room to work. 

“Does Blue never laugh?” Lance had to think about it before shaking his head. “Oh. You don't talk to her?”

“Not about anything other then combat. Why? Do you talk to Red a lot?” He's tempted to say that he talks to Red about as much as he talks to Shiro but decided against it. Keith shrugs instead. He sits down and picks up Lance's injured foot. He gently turns it around in the socket but Lance is clearly holding back from screaming. When Keith pushes his foot upward, Lance shrieks. 

“It's probably twisted at the least. You have to take of your suit so I can get at it.”

“Okay, two things.” Lance brings up his hands dramatically and Keith sighs, sitting back more comfortably. “One, how do you know what to do with a twisted ankle, and two, why do I need to take my suit off?”

“One.” Keith puts up a finger, and Red sinkers gently. Lance grabs at the arm wrests. Keith rolls his eyes. “One.” He says again. “I lived alone for most of my life, basic first aid is just important to know. I spent a lot of time rock climbing with out gear, so I have absolutely twisted my ankle before. I know how to treat it. Two. It's a whole suit that you step into. I can't just take off one part.” 

“Oh.” Lance says. He turns an a shade red. 

“I've already seen your dick, Lance, I don't really care about the rest of you.” Keith gestures with a hand. 

“No, you dick! I need you help.” He mumbled the second half. 

“Why is that embarrassing?!”

“Fuck, it just is okay?!” Keith sighs through his nose and stands up. 

“Don't make this weird.” Keith says, and leans over to help him up. His face rubs against Lance's clavicle until he ends up standing, when he turns him around and undoes the zipper on the back. It was always really captivating to watch Shiro slip out of the suit, and it's even more so when he's the one helping him out of it.

It's the same with Lance, apparently, watching as dark skin spills out of the white armor. Lance tugs it off at the front. Keith pulls it down as far as he can before telling Lance he had to step out of it. “What now?”

“Put your knees on the chair, I'll pull the rest of it off.” Lance did as he was told, and then Lance was sitting in his boxers in Keith's pilot chair. When he folded the suit and sat it aside, he went back to sitting in front of Lance on the floor. Lance looked at him with wide eyes and then looked away, apparently trying to find anything more interesting through the window. 

When Keith looked at Lance's hurt ankle he winced. It was already swelling up, and turning a rather dark blue. “You might have torn a ligament.” Keith says as he looks through his first air kit. 

“Is that bad?” Lance himself seemed to turn a bit green at that.

“Tearing most things is bad, yes.” Keith found something similar to the crack cold pack the orphanage had. “I'm sure the pods can fix you, it's just making sure you don't make this worse.” He wasn't sure that something like that was the most pleasant thing he could find but it would have to do. He found a big roll of bandages, and a little bit of cooling cream. Yeah, okay, he could do something with this. “Do you want me to talk you through it?”

“Is this going to hurt?”

“A bit, yeah.” 

“Oh god, I'm not good with pain at all.” Lance groaned. “Yeah, sure, talk me through it. Does that help?”

“I'd talk to myself while I did most of my own self care, so I guess?” 

“You talked to yourself?” Keith doesn't admit that it was lonely in the middle of the desert, that he talked to himself a lot, through most difficult situations. Sometimes just through cooking, or other chores. He shrugs instead. “Okay, go ahead.”

“Right.” Okay. “So, I'm going to apply a cooling cream first. It isn't going to last very long, but some of the pain should go away a bit. It'll hurt while I touch it, but I'll try my hardest to be gentle.” He pulled on a pair of blue rubber gloves, standard issue even for Altea apparently, and poured a little glob of it onto Lance's injured foot. 

Lance hissed automatically, and Keith, as gently as he could rubbed it in all of the swollen and bruised area. “You alright?” He asked while he was doing it. 

“Not fantastic, to be real honest with you.” Lance gritted out. 

“That's okay. You're exhibiting a normal reaction for this amount of damage.” He rubbed little circles until his glove was mostly clean. “Are you feeling the cold?”

“A bit, yeah? On the edges.” Keith poked at the swollen bit and when Lance didn't react he let out a sigh of relief. 

“Okay, bandages next. This is partially setting it and partially to slow down the swelling.” Keith wrapped it around the ankle several times. Ever time he would jostle Lance's foot, the other would hiss loudly. He finished with it a bit up the shin, and he tied a through knot there. “I know it hurts, but move it a bit.” Lance tried his hardest and it looked like the circulation was fine. It just looked like he was in agony. 

Keith rubbed his thigh with his clean hand. Lance looked down at him with wide eyes. Were those tears in the edges? “You done?”

“With the most painful part. Now it's just to wait for the cooling crème to wear off and to put antiseptic on all the scrapes.” 

“Great.” Keith got up and grabbed a different tub that was labeled antiseptic in english in Hunk's neat handwriting. They were face to face now, a fact Keith only vaguely registered as he applied the crème to all of the cuts on Lance's face and neck, as well as his knee which apparently he caught the mountain with, because there was barely any skin left. He grabbed an elastic bandage and covered as much of it as he could. 

He poled at Lance's swollen ankle and when Lance let out something that sounded a lot like a sob, he cracked open the cold back, sat back down and pressed it against his ankle. 

“Fuck!” Yeah, he was crying now. 

“It's okay though.” Keith used his sorry voice, and rubbed at his thigh. “You're done.”

“Why do you sound so fucking patronizing?” Lance asked through sobs, and he sounded tired too. 

“I'm sorry.” Keith said, rubbing little circles with his thumb. “It's not to bad right?”

“Fuck you.” Keith leaned against the space between Lance's legs, sat backwards to him and just rubbed his legs, the uninjured parts of them, shushing quietly, trying to be as soothing as possible. Even Red purred in an attempt to calm Lance down. 

“Have you always been this bad with it?” Keith leaned his head against the seat of the chair, trying to rub circulation into his ankle. Yeah. That's what he was doing. That's it. 

“I've never been good with it.” Lance mumbled. “I think space made it worse.”

“Oh.” Keith considered telling him that that made no sense, but decided against it. They sat in silence like that for a while, Lance moaning in pain occasionally. 

“I'm not going to die right?”

“From a torn ligament? No, Lance, you won't die.” Wasn't he training to be a fighter pilot? What was this absolutely childish response? 

“How do I know you're not lying?” 

“Cause I've torn a ligament before? Lance, what's wrong with you?”

“When?” 

“I told you before, I rock climbed. In the caves where we found Blue.” Keith felt Lance's hands wrest on his head. “What are you doing?”

“I don't know. I'm just... just freaking out. I don't know.” Was he...? Yeah, okay, he was petting Keith's head now. 

“There there.” Keith said. 

“Oh, fuck off! It's not like you've never freaked out before!” 

Keith had freaked out before. Several times. When he got jumped in the shower was one such time. When Shiro had snuck out in the middle of the night to join the mission that got him almost killed was another. A few hours ago when there was sharp metal squealing like it was nothing from Shiro's comm, another great reminder. “Okay.” Keith nods and, spins around on his knees until he's looking up at Lance again. “Why are you freaking out?”

“I, what? I don't know! I just am!” God, why was he so difficult. Like I said.

“Alright.” Keith didn't know which one of them he was answering. “Is it because your hurt? Because that will heal in six weeks at most. Because the team has gone silent? I'm here. Because you might not get back to Blue? I'll give you a ride. What else?”

“I... You'll think it's stupid.”

“I won't.”

“...” Lance took a deep breath and Keith watched him with expectant eyes. “I'm scared I'm going to die.” Keith stared at him. 

“Because of your leg? I tol-”

“Not because of my leg!” Lance looked a bit ragged. “Because... I mean, have you even thought about what we do, Keith?! We fly around in metal boxes in the void! Were being hunted by something that concurred the entire fucking universe! We can barely form Voltron half the time, and the other half, were lucky if the castle defenses hold up, but I mean, how much stock are you going to put into that? It's 10,000 years old at least! That we know off!”

Keith, of course, had thought all of that before. At length. It was terrifying. Undoubtably. It kept him up some nights, and then he would crawl into Shiro's bed, and Shiro would hold him to his chest like he was going to lose him. This was just as fucking terrifying as when Shiro left him. More so, probably. And at least he had Shiro to worry about with, Lance had no one. “You're not stupid, Lance.” 

“...are you just saying that shut me up?” 

“No.” Keith leaned up, of his knees. “I'm not.” They were inches away from each other again. “I get it.”

“You... you do?” Lance watched his lips as he talked. His eyes would flicker back up and down at random intervals. 

“I think we all do, honestly. But I have Shiro, and I think Pidge had Allura, but your alone.”

“Oh.” 

“It hurts a lot less when you have someone else, Lance. It's less scary, most of the time.” 

“...” Lance looked at him again, his eyes this time. He put a hand on Keith's face and leaned forward to kiss him. They kiss for a minute, and its soft, Keith thinks. Filled with longing for something. Keith opens his eyes half way through it, and Lance looks so scared, still. His eyes are jammed shit to an almost painful degree. “That is what you meant, right?” Keith nods. 

“Are you still scared, Lance?” Lance has to think about it for a second, and Keith knows what he's going to say before he says it and groans just as Lance says,

“Scared I'll die a virgin.” He's smiling now, and Keith feels relieved, only a bit, because Lance is an idiot. He tells him as much. “Hey! You didn't like that?”

“Did you think you were being smooth?” 

“Uh.”

“You're awful.” Keith says, but he's smiling now too, and he feels better. “Did Shiro talk to you?”

“Uh.” Lance turns red again. “At length.” Yeah, of course Shiro did. Oh. Right. “You okay? You turned green all of a sudden?”

“What do you think that metallic sound was? When Shiro cut out?” 

“He's fine, Keith. He's always fine.” Lance says immediately, and a hand grabs his shoulder. “You'll see each other tomorrow. And you'll get to brag about boning me.” Keith snorts. 

“That's not something to brag about, I hope you know that.”

“What?! You're snagging a virgin! That has to mean something to gay dudes too!” Keith drops to his knees again laughing the hardest he has in a while. He wonder's if Lance is being like this on purpose to cheer him up, or is he's actually like this. 

“What did I tell you about burning away your first time?”

“What about that? If I do it, it might as well be with you, right?”

“Yeah, see, that might as well? Didn't Shiro tell you?” 

“Tell me what?”

“Shiro, and you, I guess, aren't the only guys I've been with before. Doesn't that bother you?”

“Why would it? You have more experience. Makes it better.” Lance crossed his arms and nodded. “Yeah, I decided. It has to be you now. No one else is going to do it for me.” Keith decks him in the shoulder. “Hey! Don't undo all your handy work!”

“Psh. Please. I barely had enough bandages.” 

“Nah, man. You are hands down, the best nurse I've ever had. Hands down. Remember the nurse at the academy?” Keith shudders. “Yeah, exactly. Nima's a great guy and all, but when Hunk threw a bucket at my head he tried to put burn ointment on my temple.”

“Then I'm just winning by default?!”

“Nah, nah, my aunt had this whole thing for a while, where she was going threw this, like, going back to her roots thing, and all the medicine we had in the house was aloe vera and nothing else, right? Me and two of my brothers had a stomach thing and she would feed us soup made out of chicken bones.”

“Christ.”

“Right? So clearly, you are the best nurse. Well, I mean, in total honestly, Coran was faster at patching me up after I fell out of my Lion that one time, but you are way more pleasant to look at, sooooo....” 

“In total honesty.” Keith sighed. “Yeah, okay.”

“I mean, okay, in full disclosure, Shiro told me maybe more then he should have, about the hole... you... thing.” Lance waved his arm gently at Keith. 

“Meaning?” 

“Don't get mad at him, it was just Shiro being Shiro, you know.” Keith nods. “Right, so, he explained the hyper thing, and the poly thing, right, and I got that, but then he told me how you liked it, and I told him that he was getting ahead of himself, and then he told me that if I didn't take care off you he was going to wring my neck.” Keith laughed a little, and Red shook slightly too. 

“Right, and?”

“He told me how you liked to be complimented like all the time, and that's a thing, apparently.” Keith turned a bit red. “I don't really know how to do that, so like, I tried, just now. Was that... was that okay, or..?”

Keith leaned up and kissed him again. “You tried.” He whispered afterwards. 

“Why are you always such a dick, dude?” Lance groaned. “I'm trying.”

“Two things.” Keith said, holding his fingers up again and Lance sighed. “One, for someone who was so obsessed with getting a girl, you are really vanilla about the whole thing. And two, you seem to be laboring under the assumption that you are going to be leading. You're not.”

“No, I, uh, I figured, on the second thing.” Lance turned a bit red too. “I just, I don't want to be the worst you've ever had. I'm trying.” Keith smiles. 

“I can tell.” And before Lance starts up again, Keith puts his hands up. “I appreciate it.”

“And Shiro told me the same thing. Listen, I didn't think my first time with a girl was going to be a whole thing, okay?”

“Oh?” Keith got up, stretching again. His knees hurt, and he wasn't even on them for that long. Maybe he needed more calcium in his diet. He crossed to the bins to try and find the blanket Hunk had left, and to see if Hunk had left anything else. “Tell me about it.”

“What... like the whole... thing?” Keith laughed a little. 

“Yeah, the whole thing. You probably told your bunk mates right? Tell me, then.” He found the blanket, and it looked nicer then the standard issue from academy that every ship had in the emergency kit. Hunk probably asked Coran for them. 

“Uh. Okay. It would probably happen right before we left on rotation.” When Keith looked over his shoulder Lance was fiddling with his hands. “We would all go to the town, and to the restaurant with the bar.” Keith nods even though he knows Lance isn't watching him. He finds the pillow from earlier. “She would be a waitress.” 

“Oddly specific.” 

“I liked the uniforms.” Lance says, defensively. “And they were all always nice.”

“They have to be nice.” Keith says.

“Listen.” Keith shrugs. “Anyway, I would hit it off with one of them. She would laugh at my jokes and would wink at me, and just as we're about to leave for the night, she would get off shift and would rush to grab my arm.” Keith does find what seems to be a standard issue grey blanket, and that makes him wonder why Alteans had the same boring bare necessities military objects that Earth did. That's two blankets and one pillow. Maybe he could scrounge up some other stuff. 

“She would walk out with me, her arm linked with mine, and then she would pull me into the alley, laughing the entire time.” Lance continued. One more pillow, but it's a lot less nice then the one Hunk had given him. Maybe he would find a life raft or something like that. “I'd push her up against the wall, and we would make out for a while.” Well, no blow up mattress, that's for sure. Bummer. 

“Then she would get all moan-y, right, and I would put my hand between her legs, and she'd just rock against it for a while.” This might be a parachute. Maybe...? Why was everything still in Altean? “Then I would hike up her skirt, and pull down her stockings and underwear, and just look at it for a bit.”

“It?”

“You know!”

“Her... vagina?”

“I mean, yeah?”

“No, no, don't ask me, keep going.” There was a little yellow box in a bin that Keith hadn't opened before. It had a big red tab on the side. 

“I'd lift up her right leg, and then just... fuck her, I guess?” Was it worth the risk? He could always try with the chair again... “She'd grab my back really hard, like till there were scratches. I'd put my head into the crook of her neck and suck at that. She would smell really nice.” 

“Don't freak out.” Keith said and pulled at the yellow tab. A life raft did explode out of the box Keith was thrilled at the prospect of not sleeping on the floor anymore. 

“Dude!?”

“Keep going.” Keith insisted.

“Uh, okay, I mean, I think that was pretty much it though?” Keith pushed at the bottom of the raft, and yes! It was the kind where there was padding the whole way through and not just on the sides. Dreams do come true. 

“Okay, but what about afterwards?” He threw the worse blanket down as a base. It wasn't scratchy, just thin. Soft enough. He set the nice pillow at the head, and set the worse one aside, with the nice blanket. That was for later. After. “Do you kiss her goodnight? Do you just leave with out saying another word? Do you keep her panties as a memory? And what about during, right? Did you keep your pants on, or did you slid them down to your ankles like you hiked up her skirt? Did you kiss during? Did you talk through it, or were you quiet. And did you wear a condom?”

“Uh... why?”

“I'm just trying to figure out what you want.” Keith huffed and sat back down on the floor in front of Lance. “Lots of guys like different things. You told me you didn't want to be the worst I've had right? You only lose your virginity one time.” 

Lance blushed again. Keith decided he liked the way it looked. “Oh. Uh, I don't.... can you tell me about your first time?”

“Would that make you feel better?” Keith got up. “Come on. Let me help you get down.” Lance sort of wrapped his arms around Keith's shoulders and almost instantly became dead weight. “Right, okay. My first time was with a guy named... Marcus? I think.” 

“You think?” He lowered Lance down into the middle of the raft. 

“If you lie down, lift your leg up.” Keith said. Lance shook his head. 

“I'll wait.”

“Okay. Yeah, I think it was Marcus. He was a guy from the orphanage and it happened when I was... thirteen? He was fourteen, I'm pretty sure. A year older then me for sure. We did it in his room, cause he had a lock on his door. His bed was to small to fit both of us, so he was on top of me. He didn't stretch me correctly because we didn't know that was something you had to do. It hurt and I think I might have cried, but when he finished he offered to blow me. I took him up on it, but he almost bit me three times.”

“That sounds miserable.” 

“I mean, it was? But it felt good when I came. We gave each other hand jobs before, and it felt better to come in his mouth then on his hand.”

“I mean, if you didn't like it, why-”

“Why do I like it now?” Lance nodded. “It's just something that happens in some people. I liked the release I felt more then the actual act. Then I had better sex and liked that too. I used to touch myself a lot, but it always felt better with someone else. I think I like it with Shiro the most, honestly.”

“No pressure?” Keith laughed. Lance watched him the way he knew Lance watched the little clay pigeons Pidge set up in the training room for him. 

“He gives as much as he takes. I don't expect you to be like him. You aren't him, Lance.” 

“You don't mind though?” Keith shook his head. 

“I wouldn't haven blown you if I minded. Just because I like sex a lot doesn't mean I'm mindless about it. Did you watch a lot of porn?” Lance nodded, a bit ashamed. “Don't be embarrassed about it. It's just completely unrealistic. What kind did you watch?”

“The... regular... kind?” Keith tried to cover up his laugh and failed. “Don't bully me.” Keith snorted. “Okay, mister expert what kind did you watch?”

“I didn't. I never had anything to watch it on. Okay, listen, do just want to do this as simply as possible?”

“Why does that sound so lackluster?” Keith laughed openly now. 

“It won't be. We won't do anything fancy, alright? Unzip me.” 

“Does that me it's going to happen now?” 

“If you want it too.” Lance reached up and pulled the little zipper on the back of Keith's suit all the way down. Keith tugged his suit off and stood in front of Lance. He got down on his knees again, and the floor was pretty cold. It was getting dark out, slowly, the sun sinking behind the horizon. He grabbed a little tub of lotion from the first aid kit.

“Do you shave your legs?” Lance sounded so incredulous at the fact. 

“It's easier to get into the suit this way. Scoot back.” Lance did. Keith nudged him into place. “Comfortable?”

“I would have been fine on the floor. Are we not going to talk about your legs?”

“What about my legs?”

“...You have nice ones.”

“Christ, Lance.” Keith laughed. “But this is better then the floor, right?”

“I guess?” 

“Good.” Keith leaned forward and hooked Lance's boxer's with his fingers, tugging them down. They came off easily enough, and Keith careful maneuvered them over Lance's injured ankle. “Pay attention.” He said and leaned down completely, grabbing Lance's normal foot. “I want you to watch me, alright?” Lance nodded. “Before you get weirded out, you did your usual morning routine right?”

“Yeah? Why?”

“You take a very long time to get yourself clean. The suits keep us in ideal conditions, alright?” He asked and Lance shrugged. “Then pay attention, watch me, and try to relax, at least a little.” He said and kissed Lance's foot. He started with his toes and slowly worked his way down the pad of his foot, kissing the arch, the heel, then the ankle, gently, as gently as he would have the other one. 

Lance watched him with wide eyes, as he slowly moved froward, lifting Lance's leg with him. He wrested the ankle at his shoulder and kissed up his calf. “Can I ask questions?”

“Obviously.” Lance rolled his eyes. 

“Why?” 

“Be more specific.” Keith said as he got to the knee. He lifted it up a bit more, and kissed the under side, and then above the kneecap. 

“Why are you kissing my leg?”

“To make you feel safe.” He kissed his thigh. He decided he would take longer here. “To make you relax.” A series of scattered kisses upwards. “To make you feel good.” He kissed up, almost at the connection between leg and hip. “Worshiped.” He licked at his hip, before kissing that too. He was half way over him now. 

“Is that a thing too?”

“Everything is a thing, Lance.” He kissed to the right this time, until his nose was buried in Lance's happy trail. “I just think...” A kiss at the belt line, and Lance in took air harshly. Keith moved up again, to his belly button. “This is a thing you might like.” He placed several kisses at his belly and moved up to his ribs. 

“Why?” Keith could count his ribs. He seemed to be eating well enough, so he wasn't sure why he could see them as vividly as he did. He placed one hand at the other hip, rubbing little circles there, while the other hand skimmed down Lance's side, nudging at every rib there. 

“You seem the type. Arrogant, but not in a harmful way. Kind and self assured is a better way to say it.” He kissed his way up his chest, slowly, and when he got to a nipple a just licked at it for a while. Lance made a low noise at the back of his throat. “In case you were wondering,” Keith put his teeth around a nub and pulled at it. “I like this a lot too.” Keith's right hand moved from Lance's hip to his other nipple. 

“Ah.” Keith moved further up, and Lance's collar bones now, kissing up alone the left one and ending up in the junction between neck and shoulder. 

“Take a deep breath for me?” Lance did as he was told and Keith latched onto a painful part harshly. 

“Ow?!” Keith didn't respond, just kissed, licked, and sucked at the spot until he was sure it would bloom purple tomorrow. Lance in turn turned into a puddle under his ministrations. When he was done with the hickey he moved up a little higher and did the same thing. Lance didn't remark on it this time just made the same little noise in the back of his throat. When he was done with that one he bit at the skin behind Lance's ear. Lance moaned. 

“Good?” He whispered, and felt Lance shiver. He smiled and bit gently at the shell of his ear. 

“Uh huh.” 

“Good boy.” Keith whispered and felt Lance shiver again. Alright. He moved to kiss his temple, and then his eyes as Lance closed them. His nose, and then finally, finally, his mouth. His bit down on his lip, and sucked at his tongue and when Lance whined high, finally, Keith pulled away. “Did you like that?” The hand at the nipple tugged gently. 

Lance nodded, a little punch drunk, and Keith smiled wide at him. He was hard, jutting into his hip a little. Keith rocked his hips and Lance shuddered again. He readjusted himself, sitting almost directly in front of Lance, his right leg up on his shoulder again, and his left leg resting at the base of the raft, elevated slightly on Keith's own crossed leg. The tub of lotion in his lap. 

He covered his fingers in the lotion and set the tub aside slightly. He lifted Lance's hips until they were jutting against his knees, and his ass was pressed up into his lap. He kissed at his thigh again. “Talk to me if you need to.” He said and bit gently at the inside of his leg. Lance nodded, and Keith took a finger and rubbed it against Lance's entrance. 

Another sharp intake of breathe. Keith shushed him, and Lance continued to watch him. At the angle they were in, he could probably even see what Keith was doing the way his spine curved and the way his hips were angled. The first finger just kept rubbing at his hole softly. “Is this how you- how you do yourself?”

“Not really.” Keith finally pushed the first finger in and Lance shook a little. “I'm usually faster about it, way less gentle. Shiro does it like this sometimes though.” Keith moved his finger around back and forth, in and out slowly. “When he decides I need more attention then usual.” He tried to find the prostate as fast as possible, and when his finger nudged against the bundle of nerves he let out air he didn't know he was holding. 

“That was..?” Lance watched with wide eyes and Keith rubbed against it a little before continuing to move it in and out. 

“Yeah.” Keith nodded and kissed his thigh again. “Second one now.” He scissors him as soon as he can and Lance makes the little noise again. Ever now and again he nudges at the bundle of nerves in him. “Deep breathe again.” He said, and pushed in the third. Lance's cock flagged a little, so the hand that was holding the leg up went to rub it with the heel of his palm. 

“Sorry...”

“Don't be. The odds of a guy liking it from just his ass the first time is super unlikely. It takes time.”

“I think I'm good though.” Lance said as he rocked his hips into Keith's hand. He vibrated around his fingers. 

“Okay.” Keith said and slowly took his fingers out. He got lowered Lance's leg and pulled of his boxer briefs with his dry hand. He covered himself in lotion and slowly, slowly, slowly, pushed himself inside. When Lance made a strangled noise, Keith shushed at him gently. His dry hand grabbed his hip and his wet hand rubbed his softening cock. “You're doing so good for me, Lance.” 

“Yeah?”

“Mmhm.” He leaned forward and kissed him again. “Really good. Perfect.” Keith says against his lips and when Lance rocks his hips forward again, Keith puts his mouth on a hickey, sucks at it a bit, and when Lance rocks his hips again, Keith finds a bare spot, bites down on it and begins moving in and out of him. 

“Go-god!” Lance chokes out. “Keith!” 

“That's it, just like that.” Keith tells him instead, a hand finding a nipple. “You can come when you want, don't worry.” Lance reaches up and finally, as expected, scratches down Keith's spine, hard, till he's sure he's bleeding. “Go ahead.” He speeds up his own hips and hand, and Lance is shaking under him. 

“Ke-eith!” Lance is crying again, and Keith just keeps going. He feels him tighten and with a shout Lance spills into his hand. . While he tightens around him, Keith goes faster. Lance turns pliant under his hands, and Keith cums a few minutes later when Lance is making little noises in his throat and squirming under him. 

Slowly, like everything else that day, he pulls out, and grabs a wet wipe from the first aid kit that had sterilizer in it. He rubbed Lance down, cleaned his hand and himself, and then caught the cum that spilled out of him, cleaning that too. He tugs on his boxer briefs and gently helps Lance back into his boxers. He grabs the bad pillow and puts it under Lance's ankle, then grabs the good pillow and puts it under Lance's head. He wraps the blanket that Hunk had given him over both of them. “Did you like it?” Keith asked finally. 

Lance nodded and looked at him with wide eyes. It was dark out now. “Did you?”

“You were perfect, Lance.” 

“Why did you keep going?”

“Give and take.” Keith says and leans against him, an arm over his chest. “I didn't hurt you did I?”

“No, no.” And then after a bit. “Can we do that again? Not, not now, but-”

“Of course Lance.” Lance almost purrs against him. “That's definitely something to write home about.” Keith says and Red laughs. 

“Don't bully me.” Keith laughs too now. 

“Never.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> WOO we did it. We made it. YAY. 
> 
> Excuse the sloppy back story filled with head canons and regret. 
> 
> Next time, it's another Pidge and Allura chapter where they probably wont fuck again cause i don't know. pacing is hard. 
> 
> my tumblr is iamalivenow. hi. sup. how you doin? 
> 
> <3


	6. different mode

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Pidge begins to court Allura. There is only minor bodily harm gained in the process.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hi. 
> 
> Sorry it's been so long, this chapter was impossible, and I don't know why? But here we go. It's pretty short, too, I'm sorry. 
> 
> I'm sorry about a lot of things. 
> 
> Due to popular demand, Pidge is going to be playing the long game with Allura. 
> 
> It's pure fluff and I hope you like it. 
> 
> Thank you for spending time here. <3  
> not beta'd

“Coran, help.” Came the loud whine as Pidge draped herself over the lounge couch as dramatically as she could. “It's a mater of national security!”

“What could possibly be that important, young paladin?”

“I need to know how to court Altean royalty. Like, yesterday.” She flipped over when Coran dropped the little spray bottle he was carrying with him. Plant keeping had been his most recent hobby in a long list of exceedingly mundane hobbies he had learned about from the team. Earth hobbies. He found them all very quaint, apparently. She was pretty sure he was finally getting stir crazy though. 

“And why would you need to know that, Pidge?” He picked the spray bottle up and held it between his fingers. He twirled it around gently and Pidge watched it move. She was pretty sure he was going to throw it at her. 

“Because I'm in love, Coran. I'm in love and I don't know what to do.” She watched him aggressively spray the huge potted plant they got from a planet they crash landed on while training a while back. It was blue and had big leaves. 

“With whom are you in love with, Pidge?”

“Allura.” Pidge said and ducked as the bottle sailed over her head. “Hear me out.”

Coran took a very, very, very deep breath. Then he took another one. Then he nodded. “Go ahead.”

“I was going to seduce her using my Earth skills and all, some amazing filtering was going to happen, and everything, but then it dawned on me that she's royalty and all, and I want her to be happy about dating me, not you know, uncomfortable and doing it because she's Allura and Allura can't actually be mean. Like, it's impossible for her, you know? So I just... I just want to do it right.” She chanced a look up. “Is all. But I can't find any record of it in the library, and I already checked everywhere, I even cross referenced.”

“Ah.” Coran said. He sighed, and dragged a hand through his hair. “I always knew this day would come eventually.” He sort of wilted after saying that. 

“Coran?” Pidge inched closer to him as he sprang back up. 

“My little princess has a suitor!” He clapped his hands together. “And a paladin of Voltron too!” Was he jumping up and down with joy, or was that the stir crazy speaking? “Very well, Pidge. There are very, very many steps. All of which must be executed perfectly. You understand...

...Don't you?” 

 

And that's how she ended up hanging upside down in a cave on a foreign planet, trying to pry what she really hoped was a diamond out of a wall. Hunk was on the ground with his arms outstretched ready to catch her, just in case. “And then he just kissed me on the cheek. What was that supposed to mean?” 

“Think it meant he wanted to kiss you on the cheek, Hunk.” The little chisel she got from Coran was barely making a dent. Thankfully the cave had solid walls and her suspension rig worked great, well. Almost great. She had a headache the likes of which were never seen before, but other then that. 

“Yeah, but like, he wore my shirt. That's not a thing that people do if they aren't into you, right?” A big chunk came undone and went flying straight down, but Hunk moved out of the way before she had to yell. The harness was digging into her thigh. 

“Look, Hunk, Keith likes what he likes, okay?” The diamond twinkled when she brushed against it and the little bit of what was maybe water, who knows, inside of it moved. It was beautiful. Pidge liked them a lot. She hoped Allura would too. “He probably likes you too.”

“But he didn't tell me that he did. Keith seems pretty obvious right?”

“Oh, definitely.” Pidge struck at a convenient outcropping and the gem popped out into her waiting hands. “But he's different depending on who he's with. I'm coming down. Please catch me.” She said and let her rope spin in it's hinge, before she was sliding down slowly, still head first. God, she was going to be sick as fuck. 

Hunk did catch her, and she righted herself, before slowly crumbling into a ball on the floor. “Do you need anything? Water, a light snack, blanket?” Hunk asked and Pidge shook her head. “What do you mean different?”

“Give me a minute.” She heaved. 

“Right, right.” 

When they were back in the Lion, she finally stopped feeling lightheaded. They had taken the Yellow Lion with them, under the guise of a new modification she needed to try out. She grabbed a bit of copper, some pliers, and Shiro's dog tag chain, which he had happily given her after she told him what it was for. She would wrap the crystal in the copper and run the chain through the end she would craft. 

When she held it up to the light, the liquid in the middle sloshed around and sparkled even harder. She hopped her hardest that Allura would like it. Genuinely like it. She didn't even have to wear it, really. Wearing it would probably mean something though. 

“Pidge?”

“Right, sorry.” She got to work. The wire was clean, and sparkled in the light too. The copper was definitely the right way to go. “You know how he's super quite and supportive around Shiro, in their off time, but when he's around Lance he's constantly making fun of him, in a nice... ish way?” 

“I think?”

“Well, maybe he has a different mode for you.” 

“Like you have for Allura?”

“Uh...”

“You get way nicer around her, and you try to act more polite.”

“Does it work?”

“I mean, I guess? I think she likes it. She laughs at your jokes more then she laughs at Lance's.” Pidge cheered to herself. That was good. Very Very good. 

When they get to the castle, Pidge finishes the necklace and she's thrilled about it. She hides it and goes straight to Allura, still in her armor. Allura is in her room, and yes yes yes this is great. Pidge knocks before the door opens and she closes it behind her. “Hello Pidge.” Allura is sitting at what looks like a vanity facing away from her. “Was there a mission that I slept through?” 

“Nope.” Pidge slides up behind her. “Remember what we talked about the last time I was in here?” She whispers. “Me, courting you?”

Allura blushes and there's a faint smile on her face. Pidge, for the umpteenth time wishes she had a camera with her. “Hard to forget.” She looks at Pidge through the mirror. 

“Right! So close your eyes.” Allura looked confused. “It's a surprise, come on. Close your eyes.” Allura laughs a little and does as Pidge asked. She puts the necklace over her head, and pulls her hair out of the way. “Open them.” Pidge whispers into her ear, and Allura does. 

“Oh, Pidge, it's beautiful.” She whispers and lifts it off her chest to look at it closer. “Did you make it?”  
Pidge nodded. She was smiling pretty hard now. 

“You like it right? You aren't just being nice?” 

“Of course I like it!” Allura turned indignantly at her, and Pidge chose that moment to kiss her. It was a soft kiss, but it last a while. Allura apparently wore something on her lips, because when Pidge touched her it felt soft and wet. She moaned into them. When they pulled away, Allura looked affected. “I like it a lot.” She says in a breathy voice and Pidge is over the moon. 

“You don't have to wear it, if you don't, or it it's too forward, or whatever.” 

“I'm going to wear it, I like it to much not too.” She smiles and Pidge feels the room light up. “Can I ask though, why did you get me a necklace?”

“Uh.” Right, this bit. Pidge wasn't sure if it was a good idea to tell Allura that she milked Coran for information, but she was pretty sure everyone knew already anyway. “I asked Coran.”

“You... asked Coran? That's brave.” She smiled wide and turned back at the mirror. “Did he threaten you?”

“Only a couple times.” She laughed. 

“My brave paladin. He's only looking out for me, you know.”

“I know.” Pidge cheered a little, thrumming her fingers on the princess's shoulders. “But you do really like it, right?”

“Yes, Pidge.” Allura nodded. Her hands reached up to catch Pidge's in hers. She squeezed them. Pidge sighed happily. “I do really like it.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Next time.... something? It might be more smut, or it might be really left field. Who knows. I don't.
> 
> I heard that iamalivenow is the place to be, you know? 
> 
> you know. 
> 
> See you guys next time. 
> 
> <3


	7. Speculation

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Keith knows everyone better then they know themselves, but honestly, what else is new?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter was a bitch, I don't know why? But it was? 
> 
> Anyway, Hi, hello. I'm back. It's been a while, sorry about that. 
> 
> Thank you for spending time with this, what ever it is. 
> 
> not beta'd 
> 
> <3

Shiro wakes up at three in the morning, screaming. Well, that isn't really true, he woke up about half an hour before, and couldn't move. Sleep paralysis was a new thing for him, something that had only recently become a problem for him. He sits up aggressively, and drags a hand through his hair. God, everything hurts, and he doesn't know what to do, but he is absolutely not sitting in this miserable hell hole anymore. Finding Keith was probably a good idea. He went to go do that. 

Keith was not in his room. 

That almost never happened, and when Keith wasn't in his room he was in Shiro's room. Was there something wrong? An emergency that happened in the middle of the night that he couldn't move through? Maybe, but the ship was very quite, if that was the case. He decided to try his hardest to stop his brain from going to all the awful places it was attempting too. Hunk's room was right there, he should check on him. 

Hunk was in his room, sound asleep, if the snoring was anything to go by. Shiro moved on. Lance's and Pidge's room were on the other side of the hallway, a ways from his own room, so he figured he should go there next. 

As he walked his steps echoed. It was very dark and very silent on the ship. No, the castle, he had to remind himself, he was on the castle. He shook his head lightly. This was bad codependency. Pidge's room was first, and Pidge was working on something. He knocked on the door frame and she looked up at him. 

“Hey, you alright?”

“Yeah, yeah. Just trying to get some last minute translating in for a personal project. Why are you up?” She asked, and took her glasses off to rub at her eyes. “Are you okay?”

“I'm fine, Pidge. Looking for Keith.” She snickered lightly. 

“Good luck with that. Close the door on your way out, cap.” She threw him a fake salute and he smiled as the door slid shut behind him. Lance's room was the last in the hall, so he figured he could check on him as well. When he gets closer he hears light conversation and knocks on the door before it slides open. It's not his fault, that's just how the door work. 

Keith and Lance are sitting next to each other in bed, Lance is clutching a pillow to his chest, but aside from that the two of them are naked. The light is dim. Keith seems to be trying to massage Lance. They both turn to look at him before Shiro puts up his hands and tries to walk away, but Keith is across the room almost instantaneously. “Are you okay?” He asks right away. 

“Fine.” Shiro says. “Sorry for bothering you.” Keith, who clearly doesn't buy it, grabs him by the arm and pulls him into the room, closing the door in the process. 

“Nightmare?” Lance asks. Shiro shakes his head quickly. He watches them share a look. “I woke Keith up, cause I had this really awful one.” Keith nods along. “I'm sure he can help, if you need him too.”

“Wasn't a nightmare.” Shiro says again. Keith makes a sad noise in the back of his throat and both of them look at him. “Can I talk to you? In the hallway?” 

“Oh, yeah.” Keith gets up again, and grabs his underwear from the floor. They stand in the pitch black hallway. “Sleep paralysis again? I'm sorry I wasn't there, Shiro.” Keith slots his legs between the pair of panties he was apparently wearing before hand. “What happened this time?”

“Usual.” He mutters out. He wracks his brain to try and find an explanation as to why Keith and Lance could be sitting in bed naked together. More specifically, why Keith wasn't with him. Keith had told him they fucked, but he thought it was just that. 

“Oh, Shiro.” He whispers and his left hand holds Shiro's right. “I would go back with you, but I promised Lance.” He says. 

“What?”

“What?” He knew what he must sound like, and he hoped Keith would assume it's the lack of sleep. 

“What did you promise him?”

“His back hurt a lot, and he couldn't sleep so, he woke me up.”

“Why were you naked then?” 

“That's how you did it for me? Are you jealous, Shiro?” He was. He told him as much and Keith squeezed his hand gently, leaning forward until his head was in his chest. “Don't be dumb, Shiro. You know I love you. I thought you were okay with me and him?”

“I thought I was too. I am.” He adjusts. “I just...”

“You wanted me to be there, but I wasn't. I'm sorry. He gets nightmares too, though. I can't be everywhere at once.” Keith sighed. All of a sudden he claps his hands together. “I know. You'll do it for him instead!”

“What? Keith, I really don't think that that's a good idea right now.”

“It's a great idea. Bonding, Shiro. It's bonding. Isn't that what you always tell us to do?” Keith kissed him quickly. “You sort it out with him, and I'll go get the lotion Coran lent me.” He kissed him again, and Shiro had a feeling he knew exactly where this was going to end. “You'll be okay, right?”

On the other hand, this might alleviate his codependency, at least slightly. He nodded. “Give me a minute, I'll try to calm down.” Keith smiled wide enough for Shiro to see in the dark. He kissed him again, and Shiro returned the favor this time. He enters the room.

Lance looks confused, and he doesn't blame him, not really. “Shift change.” Shiro says in a bad attempt at a joke. 

“Uh.” Lance says. 

“It was Keith's idea.” He puts his arms up in surrender. “Bonding, he said.” Lance shrugs, trying to play it off cool. He notices rather quickly that he's naked though, and shoves the pillow he was holding into his lap. 

“Sorry.” His skin darkens a bit in the dim light. 

“We don't have to do anything if you-”

“I'm okay with it. He said you give really good ones, and my back hurts a lot, so I don't mind.” He says very quickly, in a distinctly Lance way, and Shiro shrugs. 

“If you say so.” Shiro sits on the bed, and Lance turns to present his back. Shiro cracks his knuckles and gets to work. Lance whimpers every now and again, and as time passes it is becoming more and more evident that Keith has either managed to get himself lost in a singular hall way or was waiting for something. “Are you okay?”

“Great.” Lance grits out. “Doing great.”

“What's wrong? Am I going to hard, or something else?” Lance shakes his head and pushes down on the pillow with his hands. 

“I'm not good with pain.” He says and makes unhappy noises and Shiro tries to undo a knot in his shoulder. 

“Am I hurting you?” Lance nods slightly and Shiro pulls away. Lance whips around, his eyes a little red, confused. 

“Why'd you stop?”

“I don't want to hurt you.” Lance watches him carefully. He doesn't expect that type of look from him, but maybe this explains what Keith liked in him. Keith was always more attentive. 

“Keep going.” Lance says and turns back. “I'm sure.” So Shiro does. He moves onto a different knot, one on his lower back, and he digs at it with his fingers. “Do you want to talk about him?” Lance asks with a large inhalation. 

“What about him?” He didn't assume that Lance would want to broach the subject with him at any time. Since they got together on that little planet a while ago, Lance had avoided the conversation with him like the plague.

“I don't...” He sighs into Shiro's push, and they both lean forward a bit. “I've only been with him. I was wondering what he was like with you. If he's different with me.” Shiro does long drags over his back, the kind he knows don't hurt. They rock back and forth as he pushes Lance and Lance goes along with it. 

“He's himself.” Shiro says. 

“I get that. I mean, you know, in bed.” Shiro must stop because Lance turns to look at him again before looking forward. “Listen, It's not like I have a large point of reference, okay? I just want to be good for him, with him, I don't know. I just don't want to suck.” Shiro gets that. Keeping Keith happy has become a weird prerogative for him. Shiro begins again.

“He's... willful, and demanding.” Shiro says. “He knows what he wants, and he wants a lot.” He says. Lance turns around again. 

“You really love him, don't you. I can hear it, the way you talk about him.” Lance says before he turns his entire body towards him. “He loves you too.” He says and he sounds a bit miserable. “He talks about you a lot. I probably know more about you then I know about him.” No, he sounds very miserable now. 

“Lance, what are you worrying about? He doesn't go after anything he doesn't want.”

“But it's not the same thing is it, you and me.” He lifts a hand to his own face, brushing at his eyes. “It's just a casual thing with me. He talks about you all the time, when we crash landed on that small planet-”

“He told me he was with you the entire time, what you two did-” Shiro raised his arms up. Lance looked like he was about to start screaming or crying or both, and this, this he was not good at at all. 

“He kept on bringing you up. You remember that noise when you hit a mountain and your radio cut out really hard? He was freaking out, the entire time. Even when he-” Lance sniffed really hard. “He kept bringing you up.”

“He was just-”

“I know! I know he was just worried! I was too! But... It wasn't just a casual thing, it was my first time and he was fucking perfect the entire time and he kept thinking about you! I could see it on his face, every time you came up in conversation he would look sick, or he would tell me about how good you were and it-”

“Lance, he doesn't do that.”

“You weren't there! It... fuck.” He was crying now, and Shiro just starred at him. “It felt like I was a second thought. God, I- Fuck. Fuck!” He curled in on himself, and Shiro put out a hand, placed it on his shoulder. “I'm sorry.” He mumbled, and Shiro pulled him up and toward himself. Shiro hugged him.

“Lance, he doesn't do that.” Is all that he can say? “Listen.” He pulls him tighter into himself, and Lance rests his head on Shiro's shoulder. They sit in silence for a while. “He loves entirely. He always has. Don't compare what me and him have to what you and he have. We've been together for years, your relationship just started.” 

“I know. I'm being stupid.”

“You're not, Lance.”

“It's just, every time we're together, it feels like you're there with us.” He says and Shiro pets his back. 

“He worries a lot, he always has. But he devotes himself completely. That's what he's like. He told me one time, he fills roles. Maybe what he fills for you is different for me.” 

“I'm sorry.” Lance mumbles. 

“I should apologize. Keith and I talked this over, but we never sat down together and hammered out all the logistics.”

“That sounds so dumb though! This is a relationship not a fucking math problem.”

“It was a lot to drop on someone who had literally nothing before, it's our fault, Lance.” Lance wrapped his arms around Shiro and sighed. 

“Neither of us said I love you yet.” He whispers. 

“Did either of you even talk about being together before?” Lance shakes his head. “Don't you think you might be getting ahead of yourself then?” 

“Is it always this complicated?”

“Usually.” Shiro pets at him gently. “And that's with out evil aliens.” 

“Oh God don't remind Me!” Lance groans. He nuzzles into Shiro's neck. “You get nightmares too, right?”

“Every night, I think.”

“Dude, same. The only time I can sleep normally is when he's with me.” Shiro chuckles quietly under his breath. 

“Dude,” He whispers. “Same.” Lance laughs so hard he grabs at his stomach. 

“God, I'm..” He's gasping for breathe after a while, and he pulls away from him. “I'm so sorry for being a dick about all of this. Shit.” Shiro smiles instead and puts his arms up. “I'm so fucking tired, man.” 

“Me too.” He says and leans back a bit. 

“Is he ever coming back?” Lance leans back too. They look at each other for a while. 

“I think he's waiting for something.” Shiro says. Lance is a lot of lean muscle, he realizes. He's not as toned at he himself is, but he could be, if he put more effort into it. 

“What?” Shiro shrugs. “Right. Mysterious ways and shit. Hey, can I ask you something?” Shiro nods. “What's his deal with the girl underwear? Like has that always been a thing?” Shiro nods along.

“I think he's worn it since the orphanage. Don't think they had a lot of options, and I think he just likes it now, honestly. Can I ask you something?”

“Shoot.”

“Which one of you lead when you lost your virginity?”

“He didn't tell you?” Lance looked taken a back for a second. “He told me he talked to you about it?”

“He doesn't talk about other people he's slept with. Guess it's up to you then.”

“He did. I wanted him too, I don't really know what I'm doing.” He shrugs. “Uh, okay. Does he bite you?” Shiro had to think about it. He shook his head, because no, Keith usually kept away from him so that he could watch. “What?! He gave me four massive hickeys!”

Shiro laughed a little. “Did you kiss first?” 

“Kind of? He kissed me everywhere, but I don't think I kissed him much.” That was surprising. Keith usually liked to be pampered, not the other way around. “What's the weirdest thing he's asked you to do?” And when Shiro gave him a look, Lance stuck his hands up, “I just want to be prepared!”

Shiro had to think, because it was rare that he asked much from him other then just sex, some occasional bondage. And then he remembered the Incident. “You can't make fun of him for this.” Lance nods. “Like at all, Lance. I don't even know if I should tell you.”

“I promise.” Shiro sighed. 

“Do you know what pet play is?” Lance shrugged.

“I mean, it's kind of self explanatory, isn't it?” 

“Guess it is. He asked for that.” 

“Wait. Keith? Our Keith?” Lance looked genuinely confused. “Are we talking about the same guy? He pretended to be... what, a cat?”

“Not, uh. Not exactly.” Shiro felt himself heat up a bit. 

“...You?” Lance looked wide eyed and shocked. He had to think about it for a second. 

“Yeah.”

“I mean, I see him being in charge, that's like, really hot to me, in a self hating kind of way, but, you I- dog?”

“Cat.” And a second later. “Lion, actually.” Lance snorts and immediately starts apologizing. “It's alright.”

“Was he hot?” Lance asked when he composed himself. Shiro licked his lips at the memory. He nods.  
“Were you?” Lance asked. 

“You'd have to ask him, I think.” Shiro said. 

“But you liked it?”

“We only did it the one time. I think I did. It's hard to think of what I don't like with him.”

“I get that.” Lance nodded. He pulled the pillow over his hips a bit closer. Why did it take him so long to figure this out?

“Are you hard?” Lance nodded again, shrugging. 

“Hormones.” He says looking down. What was he supposed to do with this? He leaned forward until they were almost level with each other. 

“Bonding?” Shiro asked. Lance thinks about it for a second, before he shrugs. 

“Mm. Bonding.” Shiro leans forward and kisses him. He sucks on Lance's tongue the way Keith does it sometimes. 

Shiro pulls his shirt and boxers of before tossing them aside. He watches Lance lick his own finger aggressively before moving the pillow out of the way and lifting his knees up. He places wet fingers at his hole and gently slides one in, swirling it in and out. Shiro rubs himself at the sight of it. “Have you done this before?” Shiro asks. 

“Only three times.” Lance mumbles. They watch each other carefully. 

“Keep doing that, I'll go get better lube.” He says and bolts of the room before Lance has a chance to say something. He almost crashed into Keith who's standing there with a bottle of lotion and a smile on his face. “What-?”

“Bonding.” He smirks and puts the bottle into Shiro's hands and turns him around by the shoulders before pushing him back into the door. “Go.” He says. Shiro stares for a solid minute before going into Lance's room again, and Keith slides in after him, very quietly. Lance doesn't notice him apparently. Lance has two fingers in by now. 

“Here.” He presses the tube into Lance's hand. Lance, in turn, pulls out his fingers and coats them in lotion, before putting two back in and scissoring. 

“It smells like him.” Lance whispers and Shiro nods. It does. He chances a glance over to Keith who's sat on Lance's desk, smiling wide. Lance puts in another finger with a groan, and Shiro's attention snaps back to him. He's certainly something, with his long fingers flying in and out of him. Shiro grabs the tube and pours out a healthy bit on his cock, before swatting Lance's fingers away. 

Lance looks up at him, wide eyed, before looking down at him and nodding. Shiro lifts him and gently, gently, sets him back down on his cock. Lance is practically folded in to a V, and doesn't imagine this feels very good for him, but Lance keeps nodding and sniffling, so Shiro takes that as a sign to lower him completely. 

Lance claws at his back and he hears Keith mumble something under his breath. Lance turns to look at him and smiles. “Come here.” He says and Keith gets up from the desk and sits behind Lance, gently patting at his back. He whispers a lot of something into Lance's ear, and whatever it is, Lance turns to jello in Shiro's arms. 

“You can go ahead.” Keith says, and Shiro does as he's told. Lance makes a long low whine that doesn't stop for a while. It changes in pitch when Keith reaches around and rubs his cock up and down in time with Shiro moving him. Considering it was only his second time, Shiro had to wonder if they weren't overloading him. 

Keith kept whispering something to him, and Lance kept making that noise, and Shiro kept fucking into him. This entire situation didn't really make a lot of sense in his mind, but he thrust up his hips and with every thrust, Lance grabbed at his back. 

Keith kissed at his neck and whispered something to him again. Lance nodded erratically, just bouncing must have strained his already soar neck and back. Shiro was pretty sure his hips were going to bruise at the pressure he was holding them. “Ask for it.” Lance looked at Keith and shook his head. “No, come on, ask.” Keith licked at his neck and Lance groaned. 

“Can I, fuck, can I cum?” He gritted out and finally looked at Shiro. Shiro quickened his pace and Keith matched it, and Lance whined again. “Please, please, please, please, please, please, please, please “ 

“Who are you asking?” Keith hisses. Shiro didn't even realize that he must have been touching himself too. 

“Shiro!” Shiro looked up at him. “Please, let me~” Shiro picked up speed again, lifting Lance up and then dropping him down. He was pretty close to at that point. 

“Yeah, yeah.” Shiro nods, and Lance yells as he spills over his own chest. Shiro gets some of it on him, and with that he spills into Lance. Lance slumps over him and whimpers when Keith bits down on his neck again. Keith cums over his back, and Shiro can only imagine how uncomfortable that must feel. But Keith is quick, and they are all clean pretty fast. 

Keith rearranges them as best he can in the small bed, Shiro on the bottom and Lance on the right, Keith on the left. There is a blanket pulled up and Lance melts again, against both of them. “We're you waiting for that?” Shiro finally asks. Keith nods and laughs when Lance tries to hit him. Some more maneuvering and Keith rubs every part of Lance gently, relaxing his muscles, warming him up comfortably. 

“You couldn't have known.” Lance says. “I don't believe you.” 

“I guessed.” Keith says, kissing Shiro on the lips. 

“You guessed?” Lance says incredulously. “Not a fucking chance.” Keith shrugged again and kissed Lance's forehead. His eyelids, his nose, his mouth. 

“Maybe you're just predictable.” Keith says. “Were you okay with that, by the way? Are you alright?”

“I'm not going to walk tomorrow.” Lance says. “I'm fine though.” 

“Good thing tomorrow's an off day. R&R.” Keith whispers as Shiro pets his side. 

“No fucking way you just knew. Over my dead body.” Lance argues, and Shiro pets Lance's hip too. It quiets him down a bit. 

“He's very observant.” Shiro says and Keith laughs a little. 

“You gave me another hickey!” Lance complained. 

“I know.”

“Oh my god!”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> We made it!
> 
> I genuinely don't know hot to write that three way scene though. the real one, cause that, that wasn't like, the real one. I don't know, I'll figure it out somehow. 
> 
> (help)
> 
> In other news, remember that totally left field thing? That's happening next.
> 
> My tumblr is iamalivenow, come bother me, please and thank you. 
> 
> Bye.


	8. I Understand.

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Coran tries not to think about it.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So, uh, hi. 
> 
> Right, uh, okay, I made myself cry when I wrote this. 
> 
> Just thought I should put that out there. 
> 
> You know, to be safe and stuff. 
> 
> Also, No, I don't know why I wrote it. I wanted that hardcore angst, I guess, I don't know. 
> 
> Either way, thanks everyone, who has been so kind to me for spending their time here.
> 
> not beta'd
> 
> <3

Coran sits on the small bench outside his father's office in the gardens. His father worked in the castle for many years, like his grandfather before him, like Coran himself would probably have too. He's been practicing his entire life for it. He liked parts of it, and he genuinely missed going to a Balmerra, but all of the paperwork looked like a nightmare.

His father was running late, but that wasn't anything new, so he sat in the gardens and waited. It was a hot day, almost unbearably so, but Coran didn't mind it. His house frequently over heated. He was used to it. He knew his grandfather couldn't tolerate it, and his father was always miserable in the heat. It must come with age then, he thought. He swung his legs under him, and leaned back to stare at the flowers.

He was still pretty young, though, only 240 years old, 241 next spring. He knew he had options, if he wanted them, that his linage of resource management for the Crown would be there if he decided to dabble in something else. Nothing really grabbed at him though. Not the way he wanted it too. He was fine with what he had.

“Mind if I sit?” Coran almost flipped over from shock. “Goodness me, are you alright?” Coran opened his eyes. He must have been daydreaming harder then he thought, because the man standing next to him seemingly came out of nowhere.

“Of course, yes, go ahead.” He moved to the side, and the man sat down, smiling gently at him.

“Yes, but are you alright?”

“I believe so.” Coran said. He felt the man starring at him, his face paint, maybe. Coran never handled staring well though. The man leaned back as well, one hand grabbing the front of his shirt and puffing it out and in, maybe trying to fan himself with it.

“Hot day, isn't it?” Coran nodded. He wasn't expecting a conversation, but here he was anyway. Something to pass the time with, he supposed. “You don't seem to mind it much, though.”

“I've gotten used to it, truth be told.” Coran answered.

“Oh?” The man smiled at him.

“My house has poor ventilation.” Coran says. When he looked at the man, he seemed to be sweating quite a bit. His shirt almost see through with moisture. The man's own face paint seemed to be starting to blur away at the edges. He wore it a darker blue then Coran's own aquamarine, a color he created after he was off planet at a mining colony on a wet planet. Cerulean almost. Odd choice, really. Didn't suit him at all.

“In this type of weather, I can only imagine how awful that must be.” He says. “I, for one, can't wait to get inside.” The man said, nudging his head towards the castle.

“Don't let me keep you.” Coran said, and realizing that might sound rude, amended, “If you have something more important to do, that is, I'm just waiting for someone. I don't mind. If you wait. If you sit here, I mean.” The man laughed. It was a soft, warm sound.

“I'm avoiding work, as it were, but now I can claim I was keeping you company instead, seeing as how you don't mind my sitting here.” He said.

“I don't.”

“Then I will keep you company.” He laughed again. “Who are you waiting for?”

“My father. Last minute work.” Coran said. “If you don't mind me asking, what are you avoiding?”

“Trade agreements.” The man shudders. “Not something enjoyable, and most decidedly not something I would want to do in this heat. You understand.” The man said. No, Coran thought, he really didn't, but well enough. “Do you like the flowers?”

Coran shrugged. “Don't know much about them.”

“Ah, well.” The man shrugged, and leaned over to pull off a purple hibiscus. He knew what the flower meant, his father had given his mother a bouquet of them every year on her birthday, delicateness and beauty. The man gestured for Coran to turn to him, before tucking the flower behind his ear.

He tries not to think about that as he tries to not blush and tries to say “I don't think the king would appreciate that. This being his garden, after all.”

“I have a feeling he won't mind.” The man smiles wide again. “It suits you.”

“I don't know what you're implying.” Coran says, and tries not to think about how the flower tickles his skin.

“I didn't mean to offend.” The man says before standing up and stretching. He puts his arms up in surrender. “Forgive me?”

“If only for you keeping me company.” He says before he can stop himself.

“If that is the case, I hope to be able to keep you company again some time.” He turns and walks almost all the way to the castle before turning around. “What's your name?”

“Coran.” He says and stands up too, because it's only polite.

“Pleasure meeting you, Coran.” He waves and walks off.

Coran doesn't realize until a week later that he was speaking with the king.

 

 

Alfor is a big man, and his height continues to surprise Coran almost every time they meet. By that he means he almost hurts himself in shock every single time, because despite the man's massive size, he is shockingly quiet. Warrior's training, presumably, but Coran always imagined that intimidation was as much part of fighting as the actual fight.

He wasn't a fighter though, he was the son of a resource manager. When Alfor had found out what his father did, a week later the man had received a pay raise for seemingly no reason, and Coran tried not to think about that either.

There were a lot of things he tries his hardest not to think about. Like the way Alfor looks when his shirt is soaked through, and the way he looks on his knees with no shirt on in the first place, gardening.

They have met many times since the first initial meeting, almost always in the garden, almost always under the same circumstances. Except for this time. This time, Alfor is on his knees in his garden, replanting the pink and purple hydrangeas.

Coran sits on the bench and watches. It's fascinating, watching the man's bones move under his skin, his muscles dancing under stress. “Don't you have a gardner?”

“I have several.” Alfor calls from his spot in the dirt. “But this is my personal garden.” He says and after a minute, “My chambers over look it.” Coran looks up. He's never been higher then the first two floors, where his father works, and where the grand ballroom is, respectively. He wonders what the King's personal chambers must look like.

“You don't think it's odd anyway?” Coran asks, finally moving his eyes from the window. He turns to look at Alfor.

“Not particularly. Do you?” He asks, and Coran shakes his head before realizing the king probably isn't look at him, so he voices it instead. He does think it's odd, but everyone has their thing.

“It's gotten hotter, somehow.”

“Sweltering.” The king answers back.

“Doesn't that make it harder?”

“Of course it does, but if I don't do it, who will?” Coran is about to point out the gardeners Alfor apparently has a lot of before the king says “Oh.” And laughs. “I suppose this must look quite silly to you.” The king sighs and sits up a bit. “It's therapeutic.”

“Of course. I'd rather sit inside and read a book, but what ever suits you, I suppose.” Alfor laughs.

“You've never gardened before, have you?”

“I never saw the appeal.”

“No? You put something small and unmentionable into the ground and it grows into something gorgeous in front of your eyes.” He sounds wistful as he talks. Coran notices the man starring again.

“I suppose.” Coran admits. “May I ask you something?”

“Go ahead.”

“Why do you keep starring at me?” The man starred at him at least once in every interaction they have. It's an odd thing, something Coran's never understood.

“Forgive me if I make you uncomfortable.” The man says with a laugh. “I often find myself starring at beautiful things. Bad habit of mine.” Coran stares back.

“Pardon?” No, he must have imagined that, certainly.

“I think you heard what I said, Coran.” The way his name sounded on the man's lips was very unnecessary. Entirely unnecessary. Coran tries not to think about it.

“Coran, are you ready to leave?” His father calls from his office window, and Coran springs up as if doused by cold water.

“Be right there!” He called. When he turned to excuse himself, the king was standing a few feet from him all of a sudden, still with out his shirt. “Lord Alive!” Coran shrieks.

“Forgive me?” The king asks and Coran is helpless to say anything other then of course. “I look forward to seeing you again, Coran.” He takes his hand and brings it to his lips.

More things for Coran to try and not think about.

 

 

He stands in the ballroom, along with at least another hundred people. It's a celebration, peace between the Alteans and the Galra finally, after centuries, and Alfor is to thank for it, so naturally, there is a party. It is grand, luxurious, and all very intoxicating. He and his father were invited, his father for his unrelenting hard work, and Coran for... well.

Coran knows exactly why he was invited. He keeps it to himself, and has to stop himself from grinning like an idiot every five seconds. The king has only become more explicit in his interest, and between that and his apprenticeship going simply spectacularly, he's been on cloud nine for a while.

He's wearing a new suit, one he's very fond of that his mother made for him. He looks spectacular in it, if he can allow himself to say, and he knows Alfor will like it. The room is hot, but tolerably so, mostly from the amount of people and not from the actual weather. He wonders what the king is wearing.

The live orchestra begins playing and he watches couples dance, men and women laughing to the music. The evening's barely begun, and he watches as even some Galra dance as well. Their motions are much simpler, maybe they are doing it out of solidarity then out of actual joy, but everyone is moving to the music.

He watches two Galra, seeming very important by the wide breath everyone gives them, spin each other around. They look very different, the woman with long hair and dark clothes, and the man with no hair and harsh features in a purple suit. The are aggressively whispering something towards each other as they do so, and he has to wonder if they might actually be a different species from each other. But then, what does he know.

As the music swells he spots Alfor about the same time Alfor spots him. The king smiles and crosses the floor, grabbing two flutes of something on the way. As he nears him, Alfor raises the flutes and Coran nods. He hands one to him when he arrives, a now empty hand pressing against his shoulder blades and pushing him out to the balcony.

It's almost cold outside, but Coran is happy enough to feel warm. “Your majesty.” He says and Alfor chuckles. It's a deep voice, still warm.

“Coran.” He says and Coran laughs with him now. “You look wonderful! Are you enjoying yourself?” Coran has to think about what he said, and as soon as his brain catches up he nods enthusiastically. “Good, good. You look fantastic in white.” He says.

Coran's mouth hurts. “You do too, your majesty.” They aren't alone on the balcony, but no one pays attention to them. They are over looking gardens, not Alfor's gardens, so they aren't as wonderful, but still impressive.

“I believe that may be the first time you've complimented me.” He says and drinks from his flute.

“My apologies then.” Coran says, and after drinking from his own, “I should have done it more often.” The king laughs again.

“There is more time, isn't there?”

“Of course.” Coran nods. All the time in the world. He leans against the railing when the Alfor does the same next to him. They stay there for a while, until Coran asks “Won't you be missed?” Gesturing inside.

“Not at all. All important business was sorted before hand. Hence the party.” He smiles. They continue to stay there for a long time in almost silence, someone occasionally walking out to offer congratulations or thanks. They just enjoy each other's company. When they both finish their drinks, and it does take a very long time, the party is much emptier then before.

“Was it hard?” Coran asks. “Negotiating peace?”

“Zarkon and I became friends rather quickly. After that?” The king shakes his head. The balcony is almost empty. “We both offered to fight for the other side at the same time in the treaty writing.” He laughed.

“Impressive.” Coran says and means it. It must sound like he doesn't because the king is laughing again. “We were at war with them for centuries!” He clarifies quickly, with a blush on his face.

“I suppose we were.” Alfor leans forward and leans his head on his hands. “Does that mean you think I'm impressive, Coran?”

“I suppose I do.” He says, smiling. The king nods and turns back to look at the room. It's mostly empty, but a few people are still dancing.

“Coran?” Coran turns to look at Alfor, because he sounds very serious all of a sudden. “Would you like to see what my garden is supposed to look like?” Coran wishes all of a sudden that he had another flute to drink from to cover his face. The implication of the question is very, very clear. He takes a deep breathe, and nods.

Well. To hell with it, he thinks as he does so. “Yes. I think I would like that very much.” Alfor smiles very, very wide, and Coran flushes. When the king stares at him, he knows exactly what it means.

They cross the room together.

When they get to his chambers, Alfor opens the door, and Coran slides in. The room is massive, a bed that is stupidly big against one wall, a massive glass window opposing it, and every other wall covered in bookshelves. Coran feels dumbstruck by it. The king closes the door behind them, takes Coran by the hand and leads him to the massive window.

Coran understands the gardening now. He understands it very clearly, because looking down at it, as it is backlight with a soft golden light, he's breathless. The colors pop so beautifully, it does put the other gardens, gardens that have up to forty people working on them at a time, to shame. He stares. He feels Alfor starring at him, but he doesn't even care right now. Because this, this he understands.

It's the same beauty he feels on a Balmerra, when he gives part of himself away to it, and it in turn gives part of its self to him. He understands so much, that when the king gently puts a hand to his face and turns him so that he can kiss him, Coran forgets where he is.

The king's lips are soft, and he doesn't know what to do other then to kiss back. They do. For a long time, the kiss, and Coran feels himself start crying. The Alfor pulls away so quickly it makes him a bit dizzy. “Are you alright?” He asks.

Coran nods and smiles as he throws his arms around the man's head to pull him down and kiss him again. “I'm better then alright.” He whispers, and his cheeks are still wet.

“Why are you crying?”

“I understand.” He says and Alfor kisses him again. It's harsher this time, a force that Coran has told himself not to think about almost countless times. A hunger. When they pull apart, Coran takes a deep breathe and kisses him back, just as hard. Their teeth clank together, and it hurts only a bit.

The king picks Coran up, and Coran wraps his legs around Alfor, as the man pushes his back up against the glass. They kiss again, and Coran tries his hardest to not think about anyone outside. One look up and... The king bites at his neck and Coran, with a yelp, returns the favor. “How far?” Alfor asks as he licks at the spot he bit.

“As far as you'll have me.” Coran whispers before biting at his ear gently. The king shivers.

“Don't offer things you don't mean.” He whispers back.

“Don't entice with false promise.” Coran knows that is the filthiest thing he has ever said. He's glad.

“You're certain?”

“Are you?”

“Yes.”

“Yes.” He answers back.

The king sets him down and the take their clothes of as quickly as they manage. Coran is gently with his suit, and when he finishes the king is naked in front of him. He stares. The king stares back. He offers him a hand to imply going to the bed and Coran shakes his head.

“Here.”

Alfor laughs. “Why?”

“Because.” Coran said, wrapping his legs around Alfor as the man picked him back up again with ease. “I understand.” He says, and kisses him again.

Alfor licks and bites as his neck as he presents fingers, and Coran pulls them into his mouth. He sucks and gets them wet enough, kissing them gently before letting them out of his mouth. The king hoists him up a big, and puts one into him. Coran bites down on the man's neck in retribution. “Ow.”

“Ow right back.” Coran said. “You can't imagine that felt good?”

“Don't suppose it does.” His finger hits something and Coran feels a shiver go up his spine. “That wasn't to bad though, was it?”

“I'm not sure. Do it again.” The king laughs as he nudges the same spot and Coran moans. “Wasn't too bad.” He says slowly.

“No?”

“No.”

The king puts in another finger and spreads him open and Coran tries really very hard to not think about anyone below them. On one hand he asked for this himself, didn't he? On the other, who would look up when they had Alfor's garden too look at instead. He whimpers a bit when a third finger enters him.

To busy himself from thinking about it, he aligns both of their cocks. The king hums appreciatively when Coran rocks himself against him. The friction feels divine, and he's dripping pretty quickly. A hand that isn't holding onto their cocks wraps around Alfor's neck. “You keep doing that, this might end much faster then you would want it to.”

“Oh, don't you dare.” Coran hisses. “Go on then.” He licks Alfor's ear. “Give me what you think I want.”

“Don't be mad, Coran.”

“What should I do then, if not be mad at you?”

“Forgive me?” He asks and Coran laughs, nods, and Alfor picks up and lowers him down on his cock.

“Lord Alive, Alfor!” He yelps.

“Lord Alive, Coran!” Alfor laughs back. “Divine.” He says. “Heavenly.” He says. “Celestial.” He whispers, and Coran melts into him. Alfor thrusts up against him, and Coran moans.

He moans loudly and repeatedly and he bounces up and down on Alfor's cock. “I love you.” Coran whispers, and Alfor thrusts into him hard then before. His arms abandon his cock in favor of wrapping around the king's neck and clawing at his back.

“I love you.” He says back and Coran thrusts his own hips up and Alfor groans.

“Again!”

“I love you.” He says again. The glass is cold against his back. He throws his head back.

“Again!”

“I love you.” He says and Coran cums with a shout over both of their chests. Alfor grits out something that Coran can barely hear because everything is swimming and he's never been happier in his life. Alfor spills into his with a long pronounced groan.

He carries Coran to bed and they fall asleep filthy and tired.

Everything is right. Everything is good. Everything is perfect.

 

 

Coran sneaks up behind the king and dangles the long chain in front of his eyes. When Alfor seemingly realizes what is happening he spins around and picks Coran up in his arms. He kisses him on the lips and Coran smiles into it. Alfor, in turn, chuckles. “What's this then?”

“A gift.” Coran says.

They are both older now, a century has gone by in a blink of an eye. Coran tries not to think about it to hard. His apprenticeship is almost complete and he has been traveling on his own as part of his training. The necklace he made himself during the last week.

“Where from, love?”

“A new Balmerra. I found it a month ago. After some convincing, she gave me this. Said to use it for a good cause.”

“Am I a good enough cause, Coran?”

“Of course, your majesty.” He laughs. The crystal is the same color his own face paint is, and it is about the size of a rose bud. The chain belonged to his mother who entrusted it to him before she passed twenty years ago.

“I fear I don't have anything to give you.”

“Good news.” He says.

“About Voltron, you mean?”

“What else?” He asks. It was a new project, ambitious, something entirely new. A super weapon that would put all others to shame. World peace, for every world. Alfor and Zarkon were working non stop over it.

“It's going well. Spectacularly, even.”

“And the lions?”

“Even better.” Alfor whispers, kissing him again.

“Mm. You look good in yellow.” Coran kissed him in turn.

 

 

Coran wants to scream.

He doesn't know how everything that was going so well, all of a sudden fell apart so very very quickly.

Coran wants to scream.

“Coran, please. I need you to listen.”

“I don't want to!”

“Coran...”

“Do you not-”

“I do.”

“Then how could you tell me that?”

“It isn't out of love, Coran. My council insists that I have an heir. With a war around the corner-”

Coran wants to scream.

“Why not ask Zarkon to help? He's always offered before!”

“You don't think I have?!” Alfor yells, and Coran freezes. He strains to think of a time Alfor has ever raised his voice before. He can't think of a single instance. “This is final, Coran.”

Coran wants to scream.

“I'm sorry.”

“I am too.” Coran says. “I'm sorry this is your last option.”

“Coran-”

“I am. I'm so sorry, Alfor.”

He leaves.

Coran screams until he throat is burning, until his voice barely makes any noise at all, until he cries so hard he can barely breathe.

He tries not to think about it.

 

 

 

Coran wishes he could hate Alfor's wife, but he can't bring himself to do that. Not when she invites him to tea in bare base of a garden that's going to be for their daughter. “Allura.” She tells him. That's the girl's name.

Coran wishes he could hate her when she tells him that Alfor asks for him every day. He thinks she's doing out of spite or hatred, but no, it really does seem like she means it.

Coran wishes he could hate her when she tells him the loves the color of his face paint. That the king has started using the exact same shade, that it's so original.

Coran wishes he could hate her when she comforts him through his tears, because yes, of course, he really should just go and talk to him. She doesn't care, not really. She and Alfor were always more friends then anything else, that the man loves Coran so dearly he almost cries at the mention of his name.

Coran wishes he could hate her when she takes him by the hand and drags him back to see the king who he has avoided for ten years now. Alfor is in a meeting, and the second he sees Coran, everyone is ushered out of the room, and they kiss through tears, as his wonderful, perfect, excellent wife laughs behind her hand.

He tries not to think about it when she dies on the birth bed.

 

 

Allura is perfect. In every single way, Coran loves her like she came out of him, and Alfor loves her just as much. The perfect family, the three of them. Everything is wonderful.

As she grows, she becomes exemplary. Tall as her father, as soft featured as her mother, as witty as Coran, and as smart as all three of them combined. She's perfect.

When the Galra attack, Allura is the only thing that keeps them going.

Still, 400 years of peace is nothing to scoff at.

They try their hardest, but in the end, Voltron in scattered, the castle is sent to some god forsaken planet in the middle of nowhere, but they're together. And it's fine, because they're together.

All three of them.

Together.

 

 

He watches Keith and Shiro on the couch.

He watches Hunk and Pidge in the hanger bay.

He watches Lance and Allura in the library.

They are, all six of them, perfect.

Well, they could be.

He's going to get them there, because he knows what he's doing.

Mostly though,

he tries not to think about it.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> We made something, uh,
> 
> That was the left field thing, btw. 
> 
> In case you were wondering.
> 
> It was that. 
> 
> See you guys around <3


	9. good boy

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Lance makes bad choices (feat the results)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hi. 
> 
> Yes, it is 3 in the morning, how nice of you to notice. 
> 
> I, uh. I figured I wanted to write something that wasn't uber angst or uber fluff so heres some uber smut instead. 
> 
> I Don't Know How To Justify This. 
> 
> Thank you for spending time with this anyway though. You're great.
> 
> not beta'd

So, this was a bad idea. One of his worst, when Lance thought about it. Definitely, a mistake for the record books. Ugh. Okay. So he's stuck to a pole, his lion is gone, and now having probably pulled something when he reached for his helmet. Because, of course he did. But that wasn't the worst of it. The worst of it was that he totally, essentially, almost cheated on his boyfriend. His boyfriends, technically. God, why did he think with his dick? Why did he think this was a good idea? Shit. Shit shit shit.

At least he knows Keith will be able to get his lion back. Well, he hopes with his heart of hearts, but he's putting a lot of stock in his very brilliant boy friend. God, he's so fucked. He deserves this. How is he so awful.

He lifts his head as he sees Shiro walking to him, and he swallows. He's ready for the disappointment face, because he deserves it. When Shiro just watches him for a bit and doesn't say anything Lance swallows again, because the disappointment silence was not expected, and as such, Lance is less prepared.

He was ready for a speech, but he isn't getting one, and he doesn't really know how to deal with that. He tries to remember the last time he got disappointment silence, but he fails to remember anything other then when he was six, and crashed his brother's bike into a tree. His uncle, who had paid for the bike, didn't talk to him for a week.

But this was Shiro, who was like the father he never had. Who he also fucked some times. Mm, nope, bad comparison. Shiro gets on his knees and unties him. Lance gets up and rubs at his wrists, and Shiro grabs his hands to look them over. They're bruised, and Shiro sighs. He turns on his heels and walks away, and Lance follows behind him like a sad dog.

Because, really, thats the best thing he can call himself at the moment. He's hard pressed to think of another time when he fucked up this bad. Genuinely, he's trying. And failing. They walk to a point, where Rolo and Nyma's ship used to be. Allura and Pidge stayed back, and when they see him the walk over.

Allura seems to be debating what to say, when Pidge says “Nice.” in a long, high pitched way, and Lance wants to bury himself under ground and just suffocate. Allura must see all of that written on his face, because she puts a hand on his shoulder, and frowns.

“We all make mistakes Lance. In future though, perhaps not these mistakes. If you can help it. The lions are very important, and we are fighting a war.” Great, pity reprehension, just what he wanted. He nods and Allura gives him a small smile, but when Shiro clears his throat, the smile disappears.

“Seriously, dude, good job.” Pidge offers with a thumbs up. “You know, if it was going to be anyone, I figured it would have been Keith, you know, to actually go through with it, but, nah, you shine above and beyond.”

“I didn't go through with anything.” He offers as he feels Shiro's glare intensify.

“And you didn't even get laid? Niiiiiiiiiiiiice.” She gives him a thumbs up.

“Pidge.” Allura chides, and Pidge shrugs.

“I'm not wrong.” She says, and rubs her eyes under her glasses. “The worst part is going to be listening to Hunk when he gets back.”

No, Lance thinks, the worst part is going to be dealing with Keith. He doesn't even want to think about what he's going to do to him. God. He's such an idiot. He lifts a hand to hit himself in the head with, and Shiro grabs it before putting it back down at his side. Lance stands still from that point.

The ship lands next to them half an hour later, and the red lion lands in front of them. Lance feels like he should be in handcuffs. Keith doesn't get out right away, the way Lance has seen him do before, with his helmet of and running to hug Shiro or Hunk. Instead, Keith seems to be talking with Red, a thing he does when he is stressed out or upset.

He's probably both. Because of Lance. Ugh. He hears Hunk stalk out of the ship with more malice then he thought Hunk capable. He doesn't turn when Shiro, Pidge, and Allura go to him, but instead he watches Keith's lion. He hears the interrogation behind him, but he waits. Then Red leans down and opens her mouth, and Keith walks out. His helmet is still on.

“Keith, I-”

Keith walks past him to join the others, and Lance's blood freezes over. He turns and watches Keith pull Shiro aside for a second, whispering something into his ear before turning around. Shiro says something back before nodding his approval of what ever it was, and turns back to question Rolo. Nyma waves a delicate hand in Lance's direction, and he turns away immediately. Keith walks past him.

“Get inside the castle.” He says and gets back inside Red, to dock her presumably.

Lance walks back into the castle, and he feels sick. Coran ushers him in, with a look of disappointment as well. “Are you alright?” He asks, and Lance is shocked momentarily. He nods. “Good. We we're worried.” He says. “Don't do it again.”

“Uh, yeah. Sorry.”

“As long as you're alright, Lance.”

“Do, uh, do you know where Keith is?”

“Common room, I imagine.” There was a twinkle to his eye Lance didn't like.

“Thanks.” He says and walks past him.

He imagines this is what it's like to walk to death row, because he feels so miserable right now, he might as well die. Nauseous, sweaty, tired and on edge at the same time. Keith's probably going to break up with him. And then what? God, he doesn't want to think about it. When he gets to the common room, Keith is sitting there, his helmet missing, and the armor half off, the sleeves tied around his hips. He's drinking water.

He doesn't get up. He doesn't respond to him in anyway, just drinks from his bottle. He sets it aside a few minutes later, and finally he looks up. Lance shrinks under the gaze. He's always amazed at how one look from Keith could level him entirely. So he stands and watches Keith. Keith gets up, and as he walks over to him, he puts his hair up. Well. That's not a good sign. It's in a tight pony tail high up on his head, his neck is bare.

Keith grabs Lance's arms, and pushes the sleeves back until he can look at his wrists. Shiro must have told him. Lance lets him. He'll let him do anything at this point. “Aside from your wrists, did she hurt anything else?” Lance looked up at met Keith's eyes. He shook his head. “Lets go.” He says and Lance follows.

They get to their shared room. A luxury which Coran suggested when he found three of them in bed together. Allura was against it, claimed it would be a distraction, but Coran talked her into it. Lance was grateful. Keith waits for him to enter and then walks in after him.

“Sit on the bed.” He does. Keith walks over to the first aid kit on their wall and takes out the cooling ointment. Lance lets him work on rubbing the ointment into his wrists. He's surprised at how gentle Keith is being.

“I'm sorry.” He finally musters up the courage to say.

“Why?” Keith asks.

“That... That I almost cheated on you.” Lance hangs his head. “That I almost cost us the war.” Keith sighs and nudges Lance's head up until he's looking at Keith again.

“I was worried they hurt you, you idiot.” He hits Lance's head gently. “I was mad that you had to sit there alone and scared while they lied to you.” Keith gets up and cleans his hands in the ensuite. When he comes back he shakes his head. “We need to talk about you and you wanting to sleep with her. You aren't getting out of that. I'm only mad at you for being careless enough to put yourself in that situation.”

“But Shiro-”

“Shiro might be mad at you for being so careless, and Hunk is definitely mad at you for taking time away from the mission, but I'm more mad at them then I am you.” So he sits next to him on the bed and waits.

“I don't know.”

“Talk about what you do know, then. Why did you go with her?”

“...” Lance wrung his hands in his lap and stared at the floor.

“Did I do something wrong?”

“No!”

“Then why would you go with her?”

“I don't...” He said again, before stopping. “She listened to me flirt and she liked it, or I guess she didn't, but-” He sighs. “I liked the attention.”

“Do I not give you enough?” Keith asked and his hand held onto Lance's. “Is this about me and Shiro? I though you said you were fine with it, and you actually meant it this time.”

“I did! It's not- It's not that, I don't know why I did, okay, I'm sorry.” Lance groaned.

“You know, when you walked up to me, earlier, you looked sick to your stomach, and now you're scared of something. What's wrong?”

“I don't know.” He says. “I don't know why I went with her, and I don't know why I flirted with her, and I don't-” Keith pulled him closer put a hand to the back of his neck. “I feel like shit.”

“You sound like you know what you did was wrong.”

“I do! I'm the worst, why are you being so nice to me?! I don't get this?”

“Then what do you want Lance?”

“Yell at me, or ignore me, or punish me, or something, I don't understand why you're so seemingly okay with this! Shiro hasn't said a word, and Hunk looked like he was ready to kill me on the spot, but you're just nice, and I don't get it!”

“You don't get a lot of things.” Keith says before turning Lance's head towards him. Lance keeps on think that he would get used to the randomly harsh, insulting lines from him, but he never does. “Is that what you want then, you want me to punish you?”

“...” Lance makes a noise in his throat that sounds a lot like a trapped animal. He's seen Keith get like that before, once, with Shiro, and then he left the room. They did fight occasionally, when they got back together, it was always viscous. Both of them would walk around with marks for days after the fact even if they held hands at that point.

The one time he's seen Keith ask Shiro the same question, Lance felt the very strong urge to run away. Keith and Shiro were occasionally violent when they fucked in a carnal sort of way, usually after practice. He didn't actually know what they did, but he heard shouts down the hall.

At least if Keith is saying that, he must know he isn't really in trouble. He shrugs. “Is that a thing?” He asks instead of saying something stupid. Realizing that that was the stupid thing he wasn't supposed to say he met eyes with Keith and hoped the exuded apology.

“Everything is a thing.” Keith kisses him, and its an aggressive movement and action. Sharper then anything he's had before, and before he knows it Keith is biting his lip and doesn't stop until he bleeds. Well, okay, maybe he isn't exactly out of the woods yet, but, better? Maybe??? “Do you know what safe words are?” He asks and Lance swallows. He nods. “Stoplights work for you?”

“The colors? Yeah, I guess, Keith, what's going on?”

Keith got up. “You wanted me to punish you, right? You think I don't give you enough attention, so two birds, one stone. I'm punishing you.”

“Uh?” Lance's brain was doing a fine job of shutting off. Keith sighed, and yeah, that sounded like exasperation.

“I'm going to...” He stood between his legs and nudged his knees apart until he was closer to him. He lifted up a foot and put it over Lance's crotch and pressed down. “Punish you.” Well, that was getting ice water poured over him, because Lance is awake, very, very, quickly. He sits up straighter. “Look at you, suddenly so aware.” Keith leans forward and pats Lance's cheek. “Are you going to be good for me?”

“Yeah.” He nods.

“Tell me why you went off with her.” He asks again.

“Keith, I don't know.”

“That's not good enough.” He says and Lance stiffens up, because okay, that's doing things he wasn't expecting it too. He gets up, off of him all of a sudden, away, and Lance feels a bit shocked at it. “get up and turn around.” Lance does as he's told immediately, and Keith pulls the zipper from his suit down, until the armor is lying on the floor.

He stands close behind him and pushes down on his shoulders until Lance sinks onto his knees. At least he isn't wearing his yellow boxers this time. Keith pushes him forward now, and he's bent over the bed. All of a sudden, it clicks in his head. “Keith, I--”

“What?” His voice sounds different. Lance is lost.

“Keith, I don't now.” He says.

“And I told you, that isn't an explanation.” He takes a deep breathe. “You're going to take ten strikes for me, right?” There's a hand on his lower back, and its the usual gentleness he's used too. “Then I'm going to ask you again.”

“Keith-”

“You don't have to answer now. You have time to think about it.” Keith said. It was a coldness he didn't expect from Keith, but alright. He could get into this. It wasn't like he was really going to hurt him, right?

Wrong. Very very very wrong. The slap lands directly between his ass, right in the middle, and Lance howls. The crack echos in the the room. “Keith-”

“If you feel like you can't take it safe word out.” Lance has to think about it, and Keith waits, patiently, because of course he does. He decides, more out of awful morbid curiosity then anything else, that he wanted to see this to the end, what ever that might be. He nods. “Good. Good boy.” Keith's gentle hand is back, rubbing at his now in pain ass. “Can you count them out for me?”

“One.” Lance says and Keith rewards him by pressing his knuckles against Lance's perineum. It's a very pleasant pressure. When the hand moves away, Lance grits his teeth through the next one. “Two.”

 

“Mm. Good. But breathe through them. It'll hurt less that way.” Keith says, and right before Lance has time to interject, its two more strikes in rapid succession. Breathing through it only barely alleviates the pain, and its more like spacing the pain out up his spine then anything else.

“Three.” And after a deep breathe “Four.”

“See, it's not too bad, right?” And the hand on his perineum again. It lowers a bit and cradles his balls through his boxers. He moans. He hears Keith let out a happy noise as it sinks even lower and tugs at his dick through his underwear. Just as Lance is about to moan again, hit number five connects with his skin, and he groans into it.

“Five.” He grits out. He isn't really sure what he feels right now.

“Half way done already.” Keith whispers, and some how, some how, Lance genuinely doesn't know when, Keith must have leaned down over him, because his breathe is on Lance's ear. Keith licks against the shell of it, and Lance feels dizzy. He slaps him again, and Lance is hyper aware again.

“Six.”

“Good boy. You like this?”

“Uh.” Is about the best he can muster so Keith chuckles and spanks him again, because, yeah, his brain finally caught up. He's being spanked by his boyfriend. Wild, really, considering he was a virgin until three months ago. “Seven.”

“Look at you, taking it like a champ. How about I do the last three all at once? Could you take that for me?” Lance nods and Keith strokes him through his underwear, kneading his balls gently with his other. He might be drooling. He buries his face in the mattress. “No, that won't do.” Lance lifts his head, well, no, he gets his head pulled up is a more accurate statement, because Keith grabbed his hair and pulled pretty hard.

“Keith-”

“That's my bad.” He says, slipping a hand into his boxers. Lance's breath hitches. “I should have told you I didn't want you to hide from me.” The hand grabs at his ass and pulls at it until Lance feels the pull and yelps. “Three more, right? Ready?” And before Lance can respond, he spanks him, three times in rapid succession, and it hurts a lot. More then the others did. He starts crying.

“Eight, ni-nine, te-ten.” Maybe he already was crying, but now he's sobbing. God, he's so bad with pain, its embarrassing.

“Shh, shh, shh, shh, shh. There you go, you did so well. So good for me.” He tugs his boxers off completely and kisses his sore ass gently. It must be red by now, he thinks. How is he going to sit down? How is he ever going to look Keith in the face. “Now, I need you to tell me, why did you go with her?”

Through tears, and drool, and deep raspy breathes he manages “Because I liked her, and that she liked me, and I thought I would finally get with a girl, and she laughed at all of my jokes and I liked it and I'm sorry.” he mumbles. God, he doesn't even want to think about what he looks like right now.

“There, wasn't to hard, was Lance?” Lance realizes that's the first time Keith called him by name since this started, and the dizzy feeling is back. Keith kisses his way up Lance's spine, until Lance feels his weight over him, his very noticeable erection pressed against his lower back. “Do you want to keep going?” Keith whispers in his ear.

“I- There's- You're not mad?”

“No, Lance, you did everything I wanted you to do so well, why would I be mad? Because you wanted to be with a girl? I know you aren't gay, this isn't some big shock to me.” He kisses him gently on the temple. “You think I don't understand urges? Me of all people?” Lance tries to shake his head, but it doesn't really work on the mattress, so Keith laughs and pets his hair.

“...There's more?”

“Neither of us have come yet, and I don't think I've finished punishing you yet, since you were so excited for it, I'd hate to fail in delivering.”

“No more hitting?” Lance asks.

“No, good boy, no more hitting.” Keith smiles against him. “Do you want to keep going?” Lance nods. “You remember the colors right?” When Lance nods again, Keith pulls away from him. He walks away, probably to get lube. “Stay on your stomach.” There's a fair bit of rummaging.

“Can you tell me what-”

“A surprise is better, right? I think you'll like it.” He adds almost as an after thought. He walks back over and sets stuff on the side he knows Lance can't see.

A lot of lube, because he can hear the sound the jar being opened, before a finger pushes into him. It hurts a bit more then usual, maybe because he's really tense. Keith rubs at his prostrate right away, which, between him and Shiro, is a thing only Keith does. He rocks his hips gently, and Keith places a hand onto his hip to hold him down.

The second finger goes in and spreads him open. He remembers when Keith explained the way he liked it, and he can't imagine doing this half prepped. At this point, his other hand wraps around his dick and pulls down, due to the position he's in. It feels like more. He doesn't know why. The third finger then, and he's fucking Lance with them now.

When he removes his fingers, Lance expects something else. He expects Keith's dick, namely, but Keith pushes something else into him, and “Is that a dildo?”

“Sort of.” Keith says as he gently pushes it further in, moving it circular motions gently. “Do you like it?”

“I... yeah?” Lance sighs as Keith pulls at his dick, and thumbs at the slit.

“Okay, so, the second half of your punishment.” Keith says as the hand that was rubbing at his dick instead rubs at his sore ass. “I want you to not cum until I tell you, understand?”

“Yeah, but that doesn't-”

He was not expecting a vibrator. The vibrator threw him a bit. A lot. It felt a lot better then he had expected that was for sure. In the position he's in he feels the vibrations all the way up to his teeth, and he rocks his hips. “Good?” Keith asks with a laugh, because of course the smug bastard---

“Ah!” Keith pointed the upward, and when the vibrations hit his prostrate his vision goes a little blurry.

When Keith started jerking him off again, Lance had to bite down on his cheek to keep from moaning, and Keith must have figured that out because theres a light swat to his ass. “I want to hear you.” He says, and Lance groans low for him. “Just like that, good boy.” He leaned down pressed a kiss into his hip.

“Keith-!”

“So, so good for me. Mm.” He whispers before he begins to thrust the vibrator in and out of him and Lance is crying all over again. His thrusts his hips back aggressively at the thing, and when Keith angles it to hit his prostate he lets out loud moans and Keith seems to enjoy the entire thing. Lance feels close, so his hands flail a bit.

“Keith, stop, I'm going to-” And Keith swats at him.

“Don't.” He says and pulls the vibrator entirely, Lance notices the empty space immediately. He can only imagine what his ass must look like right now. He twitches. At some point Keith judges him calm enough, because the vibrator is back, and is that a higher setting?

Sure feels like a higher setting. Keith's hand is back more aggressive as well, because he feels like he's at that point significantly faster then before. “Kei-” And all of a sudden there's nothing again. He might be shaking a bit at this point, and his hands are clutching at the sheets aggressively, white knuckled almost.

“Just a bit longer, you can take it, I believe in you.” Keith says and thrusts the dildo back into him. He's sobbing again, he must look like a complete disaster, because when he shrieks, there's nothing in him and yeah, he is definitely shaking now, his hips are thrusting back onto nothing.

“Keith, please!?”

“Please, what Lance?”

“I want to cum, please! Please let me, I can't-”

“Of course you can. You've done it so well already.” He can hear the smile on his voice before he even registers what he's saying. “Come on. A little longer, and then I'll let you cum. You want to, right?” Lance nods like a crazy person, because every part of him is on edge.

Instead of putting the vibrator back in his ass, Keith turns it on and presses it against the head of his dick. “Keith!” He yells and kicks out. Keith catches his leg, and yanks at him a bit, until he's half way off the bed and his nipples are pressing into the edge of the mattress. He drags the vibrator up slowly and Lance screams through it, because he is going to spill like a virgin. When it nudges against the rim of his hole, Lance is thrashing. “Keith, I'm going to-!”

“No you wont.” Keith says and pushes just the edge of it into him.

“Stop!” Lance yells because he can't do this, it's too much, too, too, too much. Keith's other hand rubs up and down his spine, and he turns it off the vibrations but leaves the thing in him. “Fuck!” He's gasping for air, and its hard too do with everything in his face.

He tries to crawl back onto the bed, but Keith stops him by grabbing his hip and pulling him off entirely. “Keep it in.” He says and maneuvers Lance until he's almost sitting in his lap. Lance clenches as tight as he can, but he feels it slip a bit, and groans as Keith grabs it right on time before pushing it all the way in. At some point, the rest of his armor came off, and is laid out next to them.

“Please.” He moans. “Please let me-.”

“Alright.” Keith nods and Lance sobs with relief.

“Thank you, thank you, thank you, thank you.” Keith leans to kiss him, and Lance knows he must be gross right now, but he tries to kiss back. He licks Keith pretty well, if nothing else.

“Okay, I'm going to turn it on, and then you can cum when ever you want.” He says and does so. What little strength Lance had in his legs to keep him leaning disappears almost immediately, and he slumps onto Keith who holds him up with one hand and strokes him with the other. He's shaking and yelling and he cums almost immediately.

Keith kisses him through all of it, even though Lance can barely reciprocate. At some point, he isn't sure when Keith came too, because he's dick is softening under him. “I-”

“Shh, you did good, Lance. So, so good.” Keith rests him down on the floor. “I'm going to clean you up, and then get you to bed, alright?” Lance nods, and Keith does as he promises. He feels like a limp noodle when he's in bed again and he just feels like he can barely move. “Here.” Keith says and presses a bottle to his lips. The same bottle Keith drank out of earlier, Lance hadn't even noticed that Keith had brought it with him.

Lance lays back on the pillow and wiggles under the soft blanket. He's still a bit hyper sensitive, but Keith rubbing his sides feels as good as it always does. “Keith?”

“Yes Lance?”

“You're really not mad at me?”

“No.” Keith kisses his temple again. “I'm not.”

“Mm.” And then after a bit. “Keith?”

“Yes Lance?”

“Where did you get a vibrator?”

“I brought it with me from earth.”

“That's yours?” Keith nods against him. “Did Shiro get it for you?” Keith nods again.

“Before he left, yeah.”

“Keith?”

“Yes Lance?”

“I'm really tired.” He felt like he could sleep for a week, and his body felt like it could sleep for a month.

“You're supposed to be.”

“Keith?”

“Yes, Lance?”

“Where did you learn how to do that?” Keith kissed him, and pressed against his chest harder. “Bad question?”

“Not the best.”

“Sorry.”

“It's okay.”

“Keith?”

“Yes, Lance?”

“I love you.” Lance kissed Keith.

“I love you too.” Keith kissed Lance.

They slept.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> We made it. 
> 
> I don't know how kinky I'm allowed to be, but I'm I hope you liked it anyway. 
> 
> What's the next chapter going to be? 
> 
> Good question. 
> 
> <3


	10. i'm not gay enough for this

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The best time for sex is when you are in a jettisoned room floating through space, right? Sure.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> It's been a while, sorry. 
> 
> This chapter was a nightmare to write, and I don't know why, but it took way longer then it should have, and it's kind of short, so sorry. 
> 
> It meanders a bit, but I hope you like it anyway. 
> 
> Also, guess what, I started writing this when we hit 6969 hits, so guess what's in this chapter. 
> 
> not beta'd

Lance watches Shiro carefully. Ever since they sort of, maybe, kinda fucked three week ago, Lance has been on edge. His relationship with Keith had changes too, because he finally opened his mouth and said that he wanted to actually date. Keith wasn't really sure how what they were doing is any different from dating, but he shrugged and agreed and smiled and it was sort of really great.

Like, cloud nine, just formed Voltron great. Lance has to think about the last time he was this happy. It's kind of hard to do. Lance tries really hard though. Hard enough that is has become a daily distraction, and if not that, then he's busy thinking about Keith in various sexually degrading ways.

No one is happy about him having his head in the clouds though, least of Keith who has to deal with him acting like a child around him. Lance tries not to, but it's kind of hard when he's finally dating someone. Someone really great. Even if he is a dick sometimes.

Shiro is clearly unhappy about this. Whether it's because Lance was fucking his boyfriend or if it was Lance being distracted or... maybe he was upset about the sex? Lance wasn't sure why Shiro was glaring at him as much as he was. Lance just kind of really wished it would stop though. It really sucked.

So instead of avoiding Shiro, which is what he should be doing, he watches him. There isn't really much else to do while floating through the void of space though. A part of the castle was jettisoned during a unfortunate trip through an astroid field, and Lance and Shiro were both on that part. So Shiro glares at Lance and Lance stares at Shiro and neither of them have said anything in a while.

“I- I can't just sit here in silence.” Lance breaks first, surprising absolutely no one.

“Are you getting nervous?” Shiro asks from across the room.

Lance thinks it might be a storage room. They stand opposite each other, and for a brief moment Lance thinks they might start fighting. The walls are tall. “I'm not used to quiet.”

“I am.” Shiro says before seemingly getting shocked by what he said, and looked away rubbing his arms. It was pretty cold, the room was insulated but not heated in anyway. Lance was starting to wonder just how long a person could survive in sub zero temperatures.

“Sorry, for uh, for bringing that up.” He says and watches his breath go up in white puffs. Shiro watches it too.

“Right.” Shiro really doesn't want to be anywhere near him, apparently.

“Can we, I don't know, can we talk about this?” Lance makes a hand motion between them. “Why are you mad?”

“I'm not mad.” Shiro makes an unhappy noise and shrugs aggressively. “Just tired.”

Lance doesn't really buy it. He's seen tired Shiro, and tired Shiro just groans a lot. This wasn't tired Shiro. He didn't really know what Shiro this was, but he wasn't really a fan. “Why?”

“I didn't ask for any of this.” Lance wants to interject with 'Neither did I' but he doesn't. He realizes that Shiro doesn't mean the stranded in space bit, or even the Voltron thing. He means the torture and isolation. Lance nods.

“Don't think anyone would.”

“And then there's the thing with you.” He says and Lance stiffens. They stand across from each other, and Lance really wants to be further away.

“Me?”

“I don't get why he picked you.” He says and Lance feels sick again. The way he always does when he has to think about this sort of thing. “I thought I was fine with it. And I was. I am.” He amends. “But then he insists that we-” He sighs, and Lance gets it.

He does. He was just as confused by Keith's insistence on them together. He swallows and says, “I uh, I don't really know.” He tries not to think about it, but he says “I'm sorry I was so awful though.” anyway.

He wishes he didn't because Shiro is next to him a second later. “No.” He says sharply and then doesn't say anything else.

“N-No?” Lance doesn't really know what else to say.

“You weren't awful. That's not what I meant. I wouldn't if-” Shiro shakes his head. “I mean.” He sighs. “Fuck.”

“Whoa.” Says Lance because, that might be the first time he has ever heard Shiro curse. That was like, world stopping weird.

“I mean, I think I might...” He trails off. “I'm not good at this.”

“I'm not either.” Lance admits and they sort of stare at each other.

“Keith is.”

“Yeah.”

“Our collective better half.” Shiro says and sits down against the wall.

“Yeah.” Lance follows him down. “Shiro?”

“Mm?”

“I think I might get it.” Lance says.

He thinks he might. He isn't sure. He's felt something, a lot of things ever since he got on the castle for a lot of people that he hasn't felt before. So yeah, maybe he gets this too. He's not sure about it. Can't really be sure about anything. But he doesn't want anyone to feel as confused and lost as he does almost all the time. So maybe he gets it. Maybe.

“Thank God.” Shiro says and sighs in a deep way. “I really don't know how to say it out loud. It was kind of a nightmare the first time.”

Lance wants to say a lot of things. Instead he says, “Should we cuddle for warmth?” and lets out another puff of air. He rests his head on Shiro's shoulder and feels him shrug.

“If you want.” Shiro says and grabs Lance's hand. Lance moves over to sit in Shiro's lap, his back to Shiro's chest. He feels warm against him. Shiro lets out an exhausted noise and presses he nose into Lance's hair. “I'm tired.”

Lance can only imagine, after everything he's been through. He takes Shiro's metal arm in his hand and drags his fingers up it. “Can you feel that?”

“Its.' He sounds frustrated. “It's muted.” He sighs into Lance's hair. “It doesn't feel like it used too. I don't feel as much as I used too.” Lance squeezes his hand and Shiro squeezes back.

“Did you tell him?”

“Hasn't come up. I don't want him to worry.” Their legs tangle up and Lance feels comfortable. He has a moment of thought that he's been having a lot of recently. He decides to close his eyes. Think about it a little bit.

“Are you worried?”

“Always.”

“Shiro?”

“What?”

“Do you want to fuck again?” Shiro laughs.

“For warmth?”

“Uh, sure. Cause I'll get you all hot and bothered.” Lance winks at him as he turns around before Shiro pushes forward by the shoulder blades. He grabs the zipper and pulls it down, and Lance shivers immediately. “Ah!” It's so cold. When Lance turns around, Shiro is out of his armor.

“Get on your knees.” Shiro said. His legs didn't move, so Lance stood on all fours over his lap.

“What are you-- !!!” Lance shivers again, from Shiro's tongue on his hole. “Jesus Christ! Warn a guy!” Shiro chuckled into him, and Lance's muscles shook. “I've never-” Shiro pushes his tongue in and Lance squeals. “That feels-” He moans loudly.

Shiro swirls his tongue around and Lance's legs give out from him. Instead of holding him up, Shiro slides down with him, and Lance spares a thought to how cold the floor must be. But now, he's face to dick and he doesn't know what to do. He's never done this before, and is it cheating if he didn't do it with Keith first?

He stares at it as Shiro rims him. It feels really good and he's overcome with a strong desire to reciprocate in some way. It's starting to rise just a bit and Lance swallows. He leans down and licks the head. Shiro moans gently but the vibrations go all the way up his spine anyway.

He sucks at the head the way Keith did for him, slowly. It tasted like skin, mostly, the same as every other part of the body, until it started leaking pre cum. It was bitter and kind of gross. Salty, maybe? Lance pulls off and sticks his tongue out. “Gross.”

Shiro laughs behind him. “Don't force yourself.”

“Nah I want to.” Lance said and licked at the head again, before licking down the side. “How does Keith do this though? He told me he liked it too!”

“Apparently an acquired taste, he says.” Shiro reaches up to grab at Lance's dick. “Most of this is.” He pulls at it gently and goes back to tonguing at his hole. “An acquired taste.”

“Mm!” He lurches forward bumping his nose into Shiro's dick. He must be really red because that might be the most embarrassing thing he's ever done. Hands down. Shiro rubs his side and Lance lets out a shuttering laugh. He kind of wants to die, just a little but he licks up Shiro dick instead, and the smell is really heady.

Lance feels a little lightheaded. Shiro licks him aggressively and Lance tries to match him, but apparently he doesn't have a magic nonexistent gag reflex like Keith does so he sucked at the head and Shiro seemed to like it enough. Lance definitely never imagined that he would be 69ing Shiro in a jettisoned part of the castle through the void of space. In all honesty, he never imagined he would be 69ing anyone, and yet.

Shiro tugged at his dick as he licked him and Lance was getting aggressively closer to embarrassing himself even further. “Dude, slow down.”

“I'm hurting you?”

“No, nah, just... you know.” Shiro laughed a bit, and in a moment of revenge, Lance decided that he was going to try deep throating him. Bad idea, as it turned out. Yeah, forcing himself to just take it like every single porn star in existence didn't work out that well. For some reason. He coughed aggressively and felt like he was going to throw up.

Shiro sat up, moving his dick away from Lance, which honestly, good idea. Great idea even. Jesus Christ, were those tears? Fucking god. “Are you okay?” Was he heaving? Felt like he was heaving. “Hey, hey, hey. Hang on.” Shiro got up and Lance stood on all fours with his eyes shut tight. Shiro came back with a bottle of something , must be a storage room after all, and Lance took it a little to aggressively, pouring half of it over himself. “Don't rush.”

“I want to die.” He said once he finished. “End me.”

“Lance are-”

“Throw me out of the airlock because everything sucks forever. Except for me. I don't. I don't at all. Oh my god, that was the worst thing ever. I'm not gay enough for this.”

“You're not gay at all.”

“I know! Oh my god, how does Keith do this? How do you do this? How does any women ever do this? Oh my god. I hate everything.”

“Lance-”

“Please don't tell anyone.” Was he hyperventilating? He might be hyperventilating.

“Lance, its okay!” Shiro squats down in front of him. “That was your first time, no one does it well the first time.”

“But how many people almost throw up?! Like none, I bet. Is it none, cause I think it's none?” Lance stared down at the floor and tried to pull himself together, but no, this was embarrassing. Like massively, world shatteringly embarrassing.

“Almost everyone does.” Shiro pats his head. God. “We can do something else, alright?”

“I'm never getting hard again. Ever.”

“Lance.” Shiro sighs. “You are totally blowing this out of proportion. Just...” Shiro moved behind him to sit against the wall. “How about we try something else?” He pats his hip now, and goes back to licking him.

“Shiro-- !”

“Relax, alright?” Lance tries his hardest to relax. He really does, but he freezes up instead.

“No more licking. Please.” Shiro stops instantly.

“Alright, we don't have to. I'm just trying to loosen you up.”

“Uh- Oh!” Lance sort feels stupid for a second. He's really grateful he isn't doing this with Keith. He's elated, actually. “Yeah, just, okay. Just.” That would be the worst thing in the world. Shortest relationship ever. “Can you not do that anymore?”

“Yeah, of course. Of course. Hang on.” He says and gets up to go... somewhere?

“Am I... am I ruining this for you?” Lance calls. He doesn't really want to move in all honesty. He kind of still wants to die. A lot. But he doesn't want to wreck it completely for Shiro. Especially not after their talk. Cause it doesn't seem right.

“No? Why would you be?”

“I don't know, I just-” He trails of when Shiro is behind him again. He hears a mechanical release and a few seconds later a slicked finger is pressing into him. “Mm.” Shiro spreads him open, nudging against his prostrate every time and Lance sort of melts against him.

“You feel tight.” Shiro says.

“Th-thanks?” Shiro laughs.

“You are so different from him.” He says and pushes in another two fingers.

“Uh.” Lance says and feel stupid again.

“It's a good thing, it would be weird if you were just like him.” Shiro leans over him and kisses his neck and Lance feels warm. He's had sex several times now, he likes it. He likes the way he feels after. He liked the attention, mostly. Keith always piled him with it. He and Shiro feel different though. Like both of them are imaging someone in between them.

But he likes it anyway. Shiro pushes into him slowly, and it feel deep like it always does. Maybe more so then usual, the position grounds him. He feels full. Shiro kisses his spine while he waits. This was the first time he wasn't looking someone in the eyes though. It felt weird, alone in a way, but he doesn't say anything. He's been weird enough.

Shiro thrusts into him harshly, at a fast pace and Lance gets pushed around like a rag doll. “Shi-Sh-”  
He can't even get Shiro's name out, but he hears Shiro laugh, warm behind him. He reaches back to pull at himself and it feels good. He pushes his thumb into the tip the way Keith does.

“Lance, I'm going-”

“Yeah-” Shiro's rhythm speeds up and Lance is pretty sure he's going to have bruises on his hips. Shiro leans over hims almost entirely, and Lance isn't a hundred on how exactly he's standing up, but he likes the weight. Shiro cums first with a shout, and when the warmth spills into him, he shivers bodily and cums too.

They are both panting on the floor a minute later. “Think we warmed up.”

Lance laughs. “Yeah. Maybe?”

When he turns to look at him, Shiro's pulling his armor back on, which, okay, that makes sense, he guesses. He's never not been cleaned up before. “Let me help.” Shiro says and pulls Lance to his feet before helping him into his armor too.

He feels Shiro inside him still, and... he might like it. Yeah, he definitely does, because that's somehow more of a reminder then the ache he feels the day after. He wiggles a little. “You okay?” He asks.

“Better.” Shiro says. “You think they're gonna get us soon?”

“Probably.” Lance set more weight on one hip then the other. “How long could it possibly take them, right?”

Four more hours is how long it took them. He was kind of over it, to be honest.

He was also really over Shiro's jizz when it started leaking down his leg twenty minutes later, but he didn't complain. Not much, anyway. Only a little. Barely.

For three hours.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> We made it. 
> 
> Somehow. 
> 
> Seriously, this was hell to write, and I don't know why. But hey, here's hoping the next one won't take this long. 
> 
> Please feel free to give me suggestions. It'll be real great. Also, you know what you could do? Visit iamalivenow on tumblr. For no reason. Just. You know. Swing by. 
> 
> That aside, thank you for reading, I hope you liked it.
> 
> I have an idea about the next chapter and maybe it'll even be good, who knows. 
> 
> See you next time. 
> 
> <3


	11. It's a date.

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> There's not a lot to do in space, but when a guy's never had a date before, anything will do.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hi. 
> 
> Hunk and Keith chapter, which was really hard, and it went places that maybe it didn't need to but did anyway. 
> 
> Yay. 
> 
> These chapters are getting harder and harder for me, and I don't know why. I'm sure it'll be fine though. 
> 
> Thank you for spending time with me, and I really hope you like it.
> 
> not beta'd

Keith sits across from him, legs crossed, in a suit which Hunk wishes so desperately he wasn't actually wearing. Hunk's wearing one too, but it's like the sun and moon between them. Keith looks like the net worth of a small planet and Hunk is also, incidentally, in a suit. Neither of them are wearing ties but Keith has his top buttons undone. This is weird. This is so weird. 

“Yeah, it is.” 

Did he say that out loud? Keith watches him with his usual level of borderline neurotic attention and Hunk laughs. Keith laughs too, maybe he's just as nervous. Unlikely, but then again who knows. 

“I've never been on a date before.” Keith says, he shrugs a bit. 

“But-” Hunk stops talking before he says something offensive. “I thought you dated before.” He mumbles Shiro's name after, and Keith smiles. 

“I've dated,” Keith uses air quotes. “lots of people before. But.” He says and leans forward a bit. “I've never been on a date.” Hunk gulps and Keith laughs a little. “No pressure.” He says, putting his hands up before leaning back. “Besides, even if I had, I bet none of them would have had this nice a view.” 

With Allura's help he had moved a table and some chairs near a massive window, so they were currently overlooking a purple gas giant and lots of stars. Hunk shenghaid everyone on the castle to help. Well, except Shiro and Lance, cause that seemed wrong, maybe it wasn't, they clearly knew, but still. All of it was embarrassing. He was pretty sure Shiro and Lance knew about this too, he hadn't asked anyone to keep quite about it, but. This felt weird. 

Pidge helped him get dressed. Coran helped him cook. No one told Keith anything and when Hunk came up to him after a workout and asked, he was genuinely surprised. He had nodded and smiled and said, Yeah, of course, I'd love to, and then went to shower. It was anti-climactic maybe, but Hunk was happy it went over well. 

So now they were sitting in front of a impressive view, in nice suits. This was a thing. 

“Why did you decide to... ?” Keith waves a hand at this. 

“You kissed me.” Hunk says to quickly. 

“Oh.” Keith says. “After my boyfriends jerked me off in front of you.” 

“Well when you put it like that.” Hunk turns red and gets up. “Give me a sec.” He mumbles and bolts into the kitchen that wasn't far from where they were. 

“How's it going?” Pidge singsongs from the counter she was sitting on. 

“Uh.” He says and shrugs. “I don't know.” 

“Oh.” Allura says from her spot standing next to Pidge. “Can't be bad, certainly.” She says in a supportive way that Hunk wants to believe is genuine. She's busy mixing something in a small tin and Hunk can't see. 

Coran watches with a weird amount of attention before turning around and smiling at Hunk. “First course then?”

Hunk nods and he tries to take the plates, but Coran pushes him out of the room. So Hunk goes back to his seat and smiles awkwardly. Keith nods at him before looking out the window again, practically leaning out of his chair. 

“First course.” Coran is next to them almost immediately, he puts the food down and whisks himself away. Keith turns back to look at it. 

“Wow.” Hunk smiles as he watches Keith's eyes light up. “Did you-?”

“Yeah.” He nods. Keith digs into his food and moans. 

“This is too good. Like, way too good.” He smiles. Hunk's heart swells a bit. Only a bit. 

“Uh, yeah, I just tried really hard, I guess?”

“If this is you trying holy fuck, like what are you going to be like when you master this. Jesus.” Keith smiles at him so wide Hunk is convinced he's hurting himself. “There's going to be more?”

“Uh, yeah.” 

“Best date ever.” Hunk laughs and eats himself. It's mostly quite while Keith devours whats in front of him and Hunk just watches. “Where did you learn to do this?” Keith asks when he finishes. 

“My sister taught me.” 

“She got married right?” He had told Keith about that while they were doing recon a while back. More out of boredom then anything else, but he's surprised that Keith remembers. He was very busy paying attention. 

“I think she did. We left before, you know... I was going to be the best man.”

“You already are the best man.” Keith says and leans back in his chair. 

“I mean- Oh.” Hunk turns a bit red and smiles. “Thanks.” Keith nods. “I don't know if... if you would like it or not. I've never been in a date either.”

“What?” Keith shakes his head. “No way. I don't buy it.”

“It's true.” Keith just shakes his head and Coran shows up again with another plate. 

“You're too great though.” 

“Uh.” Hunk says, like an adult. It's soup this time, and Keith practically drinks it, forgoing the spoon entirely. He didn't know if this was like the thing with Keith's legs but it was stupidly fun to watch him devour food the way he did. It was organized and methodical, but he ate like if he didn't finish in two seconds it would be taken away from him. 

“So.” He says when his bowl is empty. Hunk is only half way done with his. “Why did you join up?”

“What?”

“With the military?” Okay, that made sense. If they were on a date, then they were supposed to find out more stuff about each other. Bonding. 

“Oh, my dad was part of the military. He was a general when he retired. They sort of expected me to go join.” 

“So it's your dad, your sister and you?”

“And my mom, yeah.” Keith leaned back. His undone coat spread out. He looked good in a button down. He looked good in everything. “What about you?”

“Orphan.” Keith says and for a second Hunk thinks he messed up really badly but Keith doesn't seem to be offended or upset. “I joined up cause they payed pretty well, if you took a grant.” 

“Why did you drop out?” Keith didn't answer for a bit. 

“Met Shiro.” He says and that looks like the end of the conversation. Now the awkward silence hangs over them and Hunk feel weird. He tried to find something to talk about. “Why are you doing this?”

“Cause I like you?” Hunk asks. He's genuinely confused. Keith's black eyes watch him, and his eyebrows go up. 

“I mean, why are you doing the whole suit and tie five star dinner thing?”

“Oh.” Hunk... Hunk was actually sure why he decided to do this. “There's not a lot to... to do in space.” Keith shrugs too. “I thought this would be fun, maybe. It's like this in the movies.” 

“I've never seen any.” Keith says. He looks like he's expecting something, a small smirk on his lips. 

“You mean romcoms? They aren't that great, but my sister liked them a lot and-”

“I mean any. At all.” Hunk... Hunk stares. 

“What?”

“I haven't seen any movies.” Keith says and on one hand, it makes sense. He's seen where Keith lived, and knowing that he's an orphan explained why he hadn't seen any in his childhood either, but... 

“None?”

“Nope.” Keith looks almost smug in this. Hunk guesses Lance died when he found that out. “Lance lost his shit when he found out. He didn't talk to me for a day. It was great.” Uh. Okay. Sure. 

“So you aren't pretending when you don't get the references?” 

“No, I really haven't seen a single one.”

“Wild.”

“I know.” Coran brought more food and Keith smiled as he ate. “I didn't get to do a lot of normal stuff, so.” He shrugged. “Thanks, for this.” 

“Oh.” He's so unnecessarily pretty in the purple light that reflects of the planet below them. “Yeah.”

“If we were on Earth, what else would you do?”

“Uh, well, now that I know that you've never seen a single movie, I'd probably take you to the movies.” 

“I never got that.” Keith says and wipes his mouth clean. “How are you supposed to get to know someone if you are both distracted by something?”

“It gives you something to talk about.” Hunk never really thought about it, but yeah, that made sense. “Maybe I'd take you out for drinks or something.”

“Shore leave?” Keith asks. “I've only had home brew before. Does all alcohol taste awful?”

“Most of it.” Hunk laughs. When Keith laughs with him, his eyes are wide.

“What else?”

“Uh.” Hunk has to think about it. “There's a park not far from where I lived. I'd take you there.” Keith gestures for him to keep going. “There's a pond. We could feed ducks or something. They have really comfortable benches.” Like the one his sister was proposed to on. “Take a walk for a while. They have these little booths sometimes that sell ice cream.” 

“Then what?”

“Uh, maybe I would take you home, and cook for you again?” Hunk takes a risk and says, “Kiss you, maybe?” 

“I'd like that.” Keith says, smiles wide at him. “If we don't all die, do you want to do that?” 

“Sure.” Hunk smiles. “Yeah, It's a date.” 

“I'm excited now.” Keith nods. “Don't hold out on me.”

“Of course not.” He's pretty easy to talk to, Hunk thinks. When he doesn't flub up the entire conversation. “Uh, wouldn't it be weird though? With Shiro and Lance?”

“Only if you make it weird.” He says. “Besides. You took me on my first date. You get seniority now.”

“Oh.” Hunk is oddly happy. 

“Is there desert?”

“Yeah.”

“Can I kiss you after it?” Hunk freezes up. “On the mouth, ideally?” 

Coran interrupts them with the cake Hunk spent five hours making. It's a plain looking thing, but it tastes like actual cake, and he thought Keith would like that, but now that he thinks about it, would Keith even have had cake? “Sure.” He mumbles. He isn't even sure if Keith heard him over the amount of noise he was making. 

He had gotten frosting over his nose, and when he put in the last fork full he moans lightly. Hunk feels flush just looking at him. How was he supposed to... God. Maybe this entire date was a mistake. 

“What? No, why?” Keith asks looking straight at him with wide eyes. Piercing, almost. He must have said it out loud and he felt like an idiot again. 

“I just... I-” How was he going to explain this to him. “You know I'm ace.” Keith nods. 

“I don't care about that.” 

“I know, I know! It's just.” He makes a hand motion. “I just. You. I-” He shakes his head. “I don't know-” He sighs. He takes a deeper breathe and mumbles out, “I don't want to do anything other then kissing.” 

“Oh.” Keith says and looks miserable almost immediately. 

“I knew you were going to be disappointed and I-”

“I'm not.” He sighs and brushes a stray strand of hair from his face. “I don't care that you're ace. I'm not disappointed. You just think that sex is all I care about.” 

“No!” Hunk stands up and shakes his hands. Keith looks out the window again.

“I'm not mad. I get it. I'm with Shiro and Lance, and I know that's not normal.”

“No, no, that's-”

“The whole getting jerked of in front of you thing. I mean, how must that have looked, right?” He says. His eyes look almost purple in the light. Beautiful. “Pidge and I joke around about me fucking everything all the time, I get it. A guy who's never seen a single movie but who lost his virginity at thirteen. Who's slept with a ship's worth of guys but has never been on a date. I get it.” 

“I didn't mean-”

“It's fine.” Keith shrugs and it is so clearly not fine. 

“Keith.” He doesn't bother looking away from the window. “I didn't mean it like that. I thought since-” Hunk sighed. “My sister told me about her dates. About what happened afterward. I just thought, since you were happy about how normal it was, and everything, that, you would want to-”

“I didn't.”

“I'm sorry.”

“...Yeah.” He turns to look at him finally. Hunk was standing next to him by that point, close enough to see his eyes get a bit wet. “Well. Sorry for ruining this.” He says and gets up. Hunk is taller then him.   
He reaches out and rubs the frosting of Keith's nose. “Oh.” He's wide eyed, and confused. 

“You didn't ruin it.” He says and Keith shakes his head. “You didn't ruin anything.” He leans forward to hug him. “I didn't think that.” He says. “I just didn't want to upset you, if you wanted to- afterwards. Cause most people do. And I didn't mean it in a-- like that.”

“Okay.” Keith says. His voice is quiet. 

“I'm serious. I really didn't.”

“I like you.” Keith says and Hunk freezes up. “I'm not good with people. I didn't have a good childhood. I sleep around a lot. I fucked up the date, and I'm sorry. I just don't want you to think that sex is all I want. I don't.” 

“I like you too.” Hunk says. “I'm sorry for bei-”

“Don't apologize for what I think you're about to apologize for.” Keith's sharp when he pulls away from the hug. “Don't you dare.”

“...okay.” Hunk doesn't apologize anymore. “Can I kiss you?” He asks instead and Keith looks so taken aback by this. “On the mouth, ideally?” 

Keith looks wide eyed before he nods and Hunk steps forward, cupping his face and kissing him. It's a chaste quick thing that he does with his eyes open, because he's scared Keith is going to pull away and freak out, but he doesn't. He looks almost blissful. Like all of the stress he had a second ago disappeared. Not bad for a first kiss, all things considered. 

Keith kiss him again, slowly. A much better second kiss, Hunk thinks. Because its a slow deep thing. Keith is on his toes, just a little, and his eyes are closed and he looks breathtaking like this. He thinks that this was okay. That this was very, very okay. 

“I liked that.” Keith says when the pull apart. 

“I did too.” 

“I'm sorry for freaking out. I thought I was more okay with this then I was, apperently.”

“It's okay.” Hunk says. “Do you want to do this again?”

“Absolutely.” Keith says. “Listen, honestly, I'm fine with not doing anything more then this.” 

“Maybe we can work our way up?” Hunk offers. 

“Don't say that because you think I-”

“I'm not, I swear. You looked really nice in my shirt.” He says. “You have pretty legs.” 

“Oh.” Keith blushes. He smiles. “Okay. Yeah. Maybe, then.” He leans forward and kisses him again. 

“I'm happy you said yes.” Hunk points over his shoulder. 

“I'm happy I did too.” And then after a bit he says, “You'll still take me to the park right?”

“It's a date.” He kisses Keith on the head, gently, and Keith laughs under him quietly.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> We did it. 
> 
> I hope you enjoyed that, hope it didn't upset you to much. 
> 
> Fingers crossed the next one wont hurt. 
> 
> If you guys want to suggest stuff, feel free to do so btw.
> 
> Anyway, thank you so much, and I will see all of you in the next one (or hey you can swing by to iamalivenow, see me now, whatever does it for you) 
> 
> <3


	12. Sensible

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Allura has to make a choice. It's not that hard, though.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hi 
> 
> Another short fluff filled Allura/Pidge chapter.
> 
> I'm pretty happy with it so, I hope you like it too. 
> 
> Thank you for spending time here.
> 
> not beta'd

Allura was nervous. This was odd because Allura didn't consider her self a generally nervous person. But somehow now, she was very nervous. Terrified, even. She held the small tin in her hand and shuddered at the thought of what she was to do with it.

She picked the tin out herself, one of her father's old ones that were still lying around in the empty wing. She thought her father would be proud of her, for finally doing what she was supposed to do so many years ago. She hadn't told Coran what she was doing, but they bumped into each other as she was leaving and he was entering.

She hid the tin behind her back and Coran smiled because she was never good at hiding anything from him. They never talked about what they did in the empty wing but they both knew anyway. She smiled and spun around him till she left through the massive double doors.

He just shook his head and went further in. When she had gotten to her room, she let out a breathe she didn't know she was holding and went to her boudoir to start her work. She knew how to make the paint, Coran and her father taught her at an early age.

It was a fond memory, the three of them sitting in a sunlit room, powder getting everywhere, all three of them covered in bright yellows and soft pinks and neon greens and deep blues. Laughing and chasing her around the room to get her to pay attention. Most Alteans just bought theirs, but Coran and her father had made their own for a long time.

When they got her to sit in front of the mirror, she had decided on a bright green, like the flowers she had in her window. Her Father held the tin, and Coran mixed the powder with the stabilizer, showed her the exact amount she was supposed to put in, to give it a good consistency that wouldn't run easily. She had watched, fascinated.

She hadn't worn green in a long time. She had gone through several colors before she found the pink she wore now. Her mother had worn the same color, Coran had told her when he found her in a closet trying to get the pigment down from a high shelf. It was softer then the standard, and she loved it desperately.

There wasn't much of her mother to remember. She never knew her, but this was... fitting, she thought. Sensible. Coran had approved and her father had smiled when he saw it on her. There were a lot of things that she tried to do that were sensible.

But as she sat in front of the mirror her hands shook. She didn't know why she was so scared to do this, so she folded her hands in her lap and breathed slowly. Deeply. She considered, for the briefest moment to go and find Coran, to ask him to do it for her, but no, that didn't seem right. Didn't seem like it was the mature thing to do.

So she sat there with her hands in her lap and tried to calm herself down as best she could. This was silly, she told her self. Nothing about this was supposed to be frightening. And yet... She clenched and unclenched her fists. Cracked her knuckles they way her father used to when he was stressed about something.

She opened her eyes wide and looked at the small table in front of her. It was just a mater of color. Really. She had a hard time imagining Pidge in pink. Maybe that was the bad idea part of all of this. She knew how nervous Pidge got over the girl thing. She had never seen Pidge in anything even faintly feminine, so maybe she shouldn't.

The traditional right was to have matching, though. It didn't make sense, otherwise. It was entirely pointless if she didn't do it in pink. It was a silent explanation of a unification. Her father had started the tradition, and it was only fair that she care it out. And yet.

She looked at the green and yellow powders instead. The same colors she had used as a child. Pidge's colors anyway. It seemed right to... And yet. Allura drops her head on the table, and tries to will a solution to come to her. Why was this so needlessly difficult?

Maybe she should just mix the two together. She made a face thinking about that. It would be a murky gray mess. Gross. Who wore grey? No one. No one wore grey. She put her face directly into the table and groaned.

Both. She would make both. Play it by hand. So she does.

She makes the pink paint first, gently. Portioning of the amount of particular powder into the tin and mixing in the stabilizer with a thick brush. She watched as the powder clumped together until it smoothed itself out. She pressed her finger into the final mixture and tested it for texture. Perfect.

She pulls out an old tin that she had under the table, pretty too, not as pretty as the one she commandeered from her father, but still pretty. A little jewel set in the middle. She looked into the mirror and touched the necklace that hung around her. So pretty, she thought. Prefect. She lifts the chain up into her mouth, slotting it in between her teeth.

She needed something to do to burn the excess energy, so she cradled it between her teeth as she tries to mix the green and yellow into a gentle blend that wasn't offensive to look at. She repeats the process and looks at it. Right, how was she supposed to go about this bit then?

She gets up, sets the necklace back to her chest, pockets the two tins and goes to find Pidge. Pidge, it turns out, was in the lounge alone.

“Hey!” She lights up and waves at Allura. “What have you been up to?”

Allura shrugs. “You know.” She says and wants to kick herself in the leg. She thinks briefly if her father was this bad with her mother. Or maybe it was the other way around. One of them had to be the awkward one. “Pidge?”

“Yeah? What is it?” She's so radiant Allura forgets how to talk for a second.

“Right. I have a surprise for you.”

“Really? Is it a fun surprise?” Pidge waggled her eyebrows. Allura blushed a bit and shrugged.

“Don't know yet.” She walked closer to Pidge and sat on the couch in front of her.

“Okay. Filling me with confidence.” Pidge smiled wide at her.

“Alright, so... I don't really know how to do this.”

“Uh, okay. Do you want me to close my eyes?”

“I think that might help.” She nodded. “Yes. Please do. And don't open them till I tell you too, alright?”

“Sure.” Pidge crossed her legs and sat up, closing her eyes. Allura had a thought. Best to just put both on her and let her pick the best one. That would be smoothest, she thinks. She takes Pidge's glasses off and does so. She applies the pink face paint in a little triangle under her left eye, and the light green under her right. She does not have a mirror to show Pidge, and she does hit herself, lightly.

“I don't have a mirror to show you.”

“My datapad has a camera.” Pidge says, her eyes still closed. Allura reaches around her to grab the datapad, and after turning it on she takes a picture.

“Okay. Open your eyes.” She holds up the datapad in front of Pidge's face. Pidge opens her eyes slowly, blinks hard and reaches for her glasses. She puts them on and looks at herself.

“Oh.” She says and smiles. “It's pretty. I thought they were supposed to be one color though?”

“Uh.” Allura says, like a mature adult that she definitely is. “It is, but I didn't... I didn't know if you would be okay with pink.”

“I like both of them.” Pidge doesn't look up from the picture when she asks, “What does it mean?”

“The face paint is traditional Altean identification. There are a lot of different patterns that mean a lot of different things, but triangles are for royalty.” She swallows. “When two people wear the same color it means they care about each other.”

“Oh.” Pidge looks at Allura.

“A lot.”

“Oh.” Pidge says. She puts a hand on the datapad that Allura holds up, and pushes it down until Allura sets it down. “How much?” She asks and leans a little forward.

“It's a...” Allura is suddenly face to face with her. “Declaration of love.”

“Oh.” Pidge sighs and kisses her.

Her lips are soft. It surprises her every time, because she never expects them to be. It's silly she thinks, because she should know better by now, but she never does. She revels in it. Pidge pulls away from her only briefly before putting a hand on Allura's shoulder and pushing her back until she was on her back. Pidge hovered over her.

She kisses Allura again, deeper this time, her tongue pushing into Allura's mouth and Allura flushes all the way up to her ears. She doesn't know what to do with her hands so she puts them on Pidge's hips and that gets her an appreciative noise. They kiss for a solid minute and Allura would have kept going but Pidge pulls back for air.

“I like it.” She whispers into her ear.

“I'm glad.” Allura mumbles back.

“Should I wear it all the time? Both colors?”

“If you want.” She thinks for a second. “I would appreciate it if you did.”

“Mm.” Pidge licks her lips. “Is Coran going to kill me?”

“I think he knows what I was going to do.”

“You made it yourself.” Allura nods. “Fancy.”

Pidge leans down to kiss her again. “I always have.”

“Fancy~” Pidge whispers as she licks Allura's ear. She shivers.

They hear a low whistle and both of them turn their head to see Lance staring at them. “Hot.” He whispers. Allura rolls her eyes, and looks at Pidge, who sat up and ripped one of her shoes off. “Wait-” She throws it and hits head center between his eyes. “Fucking Christ Pidge!”

“I'm telling Keith!” She yells.

“God, no please! I'm sorry!” Pidge hurls another shoe at him, this one hits the back of his head.

“Not yet you're not! You dick!” Lance bolts out the room. Pidge sighs and straddles Allura. “I'm sorry.”

“It is entirely understandable.” Allura says and puts a hand on Pidge's hip. She rubs little circles with her thumb and Pidge almost purrs, her eyes watching Allura's hand.

“Is the mood ruined? I'm going to strangle him.”

“Next time we will just have to do this where he can't find us, right?” Pidge laughs.

“Next time?”

“Oh yes. If you want, of course.”

“Of course.” She leans forward until her head is wresting on Allura's chest. “Can I ask you a question?” Allura nodded. “Can I keep wearing it like this? Will you get upset?”

“No, of course not, Pidge. You can wear it anyway you like.”

“Thank you for the surprise.” Pidge says and wiggles a little to get more comfortable.

“Your welcome.” Allura kisses her temple. “Are you going to rest?”

“Do you mind?”

“Go ahead. Though I doubt how comfortable I will be.”

“Very. Mm. Very comfortable.”

When Coran finds them an hour and a half later, Pidge is snoring lightly on her chest and Allura is reading old war reports on the datapad. She sees the approving look on his face when he notices Pidge's face paint. She's thrilled even further when he give her a thumbs up. She shoots one back and Coran smiles.

This was a good decision.

A very, very, very good decision.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> We did it. Together. 
> 
> I'm not sure exactly what we're going to do next time, it's either going to get really dark or it's going to get really light, not sure yet. 
> 
> Some more left field stuff, different left field stuff, but still, you know, left field stuff. 
> 
> We will see. 
> 
> <3


	13. Bunkmates

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Keith has a lot of roommates. He only really likes one of them though.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hi. 
> 
> Shiro/Keith chapter. I've been wanting to write this for a while, and now seems like an appropriate time. 
> 
> I'm kind of proud of this one again, so I hope you like it as much as you liked the last one I was proud off. 
> 
> Thank you for your time.
> 
> not beta'd

He's the best pilot the garrison has. He knows this. He is acutely aware of this. The general stands a few paces in front of him, telling the rest of the cadets that he is the best damn pilot they have ever seen. He is the goal everyone else should strive to achieve. But when the general ushers him forward towards the podium and he looks out into the massive sea of faces he locks up. 

He knows what he's supposed to say, he's been rehearsing it for a week, but as he looks out at the crowd he can't say anything at all. Someone coughs behind him and when he looks back up some guy in the back row is flipping him off. He takes a deep breath, prepared to mumble some cheap bastardization of the original script, and all of a sudden a hand is on his shoulder. 

“Cadets.” Keith turns to look at the guy who's hand is still on his shoulder. He has a soft voice. He's a tall guy, pretty built, asian, maybe? He looks like he's wearing eye liner. “We are so pleased all of you can be here today.” He continues. He has dark grey eyes and a military hair cut. “There are many challenges you will be forced to face while part of the garrison. Public speaking will not be one of them.” 

The entire room laughs and Keith shakes the hand off his shoulder harshly. Okay, so he's a jerk. Whatever. Who wore eye liner anyway, who had that time? He stalks off the stage. He didn't want to be here, and if this dick could do his job for him, thats great. He was only here because the money the garrison gave him was enough to sustain himself on. Well, that and the ships. 

He liked flying. It was one of the very few things he did like. That's what he was here for anyway. Flying. Not lecturing a bunch of children on how they were supposed to risk their lives for a cause they didn't believe in. He sighed.

As he made his way down the central corridor, he practically walked into Alem. Alem, who was his bunk mate, who had a lot of loud opinions. “You did great.” He says. Keith snorts and punches him in the shoulder. “Okay, well you would have done great! Shirogane was a dick head.” 

“Is that his name?” Keith asks.

“You're probably the only guy who doesn't know him. He's an exploration pilot. He just got back from a month long mission, and that's the first thing he does? What a massive dick head.” Alem bounces around him. “Ignore him.”

“I am.” 

“Right, want to get lunch or something?” Alem asks and wiggles his eyebrows. 

“Or something.” Keith says and grabs Alem's hand. 

“Need to burn of some steam, huh?” 

“Or something.” Keith says again and drags the other boy to their tiny quarters. The only reason Keith had his room, how ever minuscule was because of his talent behind a flight stick. He had the top bunk, and Alem, his computer specialist, had the bottom bunk. So when he pushes Alem on the bottom bunk and Alem bounces so hard he hits his head on the wall, Keith worries momentarily. 

“You want it rough today, huh?” Alem asks laughing, and Keith smiles. He liked his roommate a lot. 

Keith pulls off his pants and boxers and pulls Alem's down, before realizing that he was half hard already. Good, less work for him. He jerked the other boy to full mast, and straddled him. He had a lot of steam to burn off. 

Or something. 

 

They sat in the mess hall an hour later, Alem telling Keith about how his sister bought her cat a leash, before joking mentioning that maybe he should get one for Keith. They both laughed. Keith had eaten and he was full and happy and empty in the way he liked to be afterwards when when Shirogane showed up and all of Keith's good mood disappeared in an instant. 

Shirogane sat in front him, next to Alem, and really how dare he. Alem didn't even notice at first to busy laughing. Shirogane cleared his throat and Alem froze. “I wanted to apologize.” 

“Did you.” Keith didn't make it a question. He considered, briefly, going off on the guy, but decided it wasn't worth it. Not really. Who cared about Shirogane anyway. 

“I'm going to go.” Alem mumbles before awkwardly stepping out of the cafeteria table and bolting. Shirogane watches him go before turning back to Keith. 

“Your friend didn't need to do that.” He says quieter now. 

“My friend can do what he wants.” 

“Right. Listen, I'm sorry about what happened at the ceremony.” 

“If you were sorry, you wouldn't have done it.” Keith says with a harshness he reserves for rare and special occasions. “But you did it. So, clearly, you aren't sorry. Not really.” 

“...” Shirogane seems shocked into silence. Keith roles his eyes. If you can't take it why dole it out? He thought. “You're right.” Keith watches him. “I was worried you were going to embarrass the garrison.” 

“So what if I was? It's not your job to correct my mistakes. I don't even know who you are.” Alem had told him once that talking to Keith was like talking to a wall. Good. Maybe this dick would go down a peg or two. 

“Shirogane Takashi. Takashi Shirogane, rather. My friends call me Shiro.” 

“You have friends?” Keith leans forward. “Do you shove yourself into their lives too?” The guy looks genuinely taken aback for a minute before recovering with a smile. 

“Only the ones I really care about.” He winks and Keith stares at him. Hard. “What's your name, so I can shove myself into your life more aggressively?” 

“Figure it out yourself. Your probably heard it before you decided to embarrass me in front of two hundred people.” He's had people flirt like this with him before. He didn't have to put up with it. He didn't have to do anything with him. 

“Missed that part, actually.” 

“Did you miss the part where they announced that I was the best pilot of the garrison?” Keith asks before getting up. Shirogane looked shocked, and Keith was done with this conversation. He picks up his empty tray and frowns. “I'd be more then happy to show you where you can shove yourself, but I think I might be to important for that.” 

He walks away. He doesn't think about Shirogane. He just thinks how he's going to convince Alem to let him ride him twice in one day. 

 

 

He sits on his bunk, his spine curved a bit while Mackenzie sweeps the floor below him. He misses Alem. Alem was nicer, Funnier. He had a cock. Mackenzie, who is timid, quiet, and a girl is a decent bunkmate. Decent enough, she never bothers Keith unless it's with a question about aeronautics or a request to clean something. But he misses Alem all the same. 

Alem had transferred to another facility on a different continent, because he was too good at his job, and this opportunity was to much to miss. So now Keith lived with Mackenzie, a computer specialist who was still awaiting assignment. She had a problem with the public dorms, everyone knew Keith wasn't going to bother her so it was a match made in heaven. 

Keith found himself spending a shocking amount of time being anywhere but in his own room. He had taken up fighting to burn through his anger and the instructor was a wonderful man who gave him a lot of extra training at night. He was kind of hopping he could maybe be there right now. 

As soon as Mackenzie finishes the floor he bolts out of the room, thanks her on the way out, and sprints to the gyms. He's thrilled when he finds them to be almost empty. Almost being the operative word. “Kogane!” He turns and of course. Of course it has to be him. 

Shirogane made it a point to show up almost everywhere Keith was. Almost like this was some personal vendetta he had. He had memorized his schedule, apparently. Found out where his room was too. Keith was so horrendously unhappy with him. “What.” 

“Want to spar?” Shirogane asked. 

“Not really.” 

“Why are you here then?” He grinned at him, wide eyed with his stupid eye liner. Keith considered, not for the first time, telling him exactly what he was here for. He doesn't. He never does. 

“I was avoiding you.” Shirogane laughed. 

“Guess that back fired pretty hard.” Shirogane holds up a pair of boxing gloves. “Did you go in a circle?” Keith considers the gloves for a minute, before walking over and pulling them out of his hand. 

“Maybe I did.” He pulls them on, and kicks his boots off before climbing into the ring. “Let me pound your face in.” He says and takes position. 

“So aggressive.” Shirogane laughs and follows him into the ring. “Do you want me to count us in?” Keith waits for him to actually do so, and the second Shirogane hits one, Keith sideswipes him. There is a thud as Shirogane hits the floor. “What was that?!”

“Kickboxing.” Keith waits till he gets up again. It wasn't going to work a second time, because Shirogane rushes him the second he is upwards. Keith just barely spins out of the way before Shirogane pivots on his heels and throws a punch at Keith's head. The guy is much faster then Keith expected him to be with his size. 

He ducks out of the way and kicks him in the side. It connects and the guy grits his teeth before punching a right cross. It hits Keith in the shoulder and it hurts. It'll bruise in the morning. He breathes through the pain and throws an upswing. It's blocked, but Keith takes the exposed area to do a spin kick. His foot crashes into Shirogane's ear. 

Shirogane punches him straight in the solar plexus on the way down and the wind is knocked out of him. He stagers back, because he knows that even when the enemy is down, your guard is not. Once Keith gets his breathing under control, he moves to straddle Shirogane, but the man is up again, and in Keith's space much faster then anticipated. There is a left cross which feints the right hook, and Keith tries to spin out of the way, only to trip over Shirogane's foot, waiting for him. He falls on his stomach, and Shirogane is on his back. 

Keith freaks out. He struggles, kicking and screaming, because he does not want to be in that position again. Not again, never again. He bucks as hard as he can, screaming as loud as he can before Shirogane must realize something's wrong, he's trying to say something, and fuck him, fuck him, fuck him. Before he gets of him, Keith feels cold tile under his feet instead of the dusted mat, but it's gone fast, so when Shirogane gets up Keith flips on his back and punches him right in the nose. 

So Shirogane is the one who is on his back now, also on the floor, and Keith is sitting, his legs tight to his body ready to kick out any moment, gasping for air. He rips the gloves of and throws them away, ready to hit with knuckle instead. Shirogane just lies there, and Keith shakes. Fuck him, fuck him, fuck him, the absolute dick.

“Are you okay?” Keith's eyes widen at him before he can realize exactly where he is in full. He doesn't answer, but Shirogane's sitting up and Keith inches away from him. “Hey?” Keith can't talk yet, not really. He can barely breath right now. He watches him though. “I'm over here, okay? I'm not going to touch you.” Shirogane puts up both his hands. 

“Fuck you.” Keith stutters out. 

“Okay.” Shirogane says, and he sits a bit more comfortably before slowly reaching for his nose. “I think you broke it.” He says. Good. Fucking good. “Where did you learn to fight like that?” Keith just watches him. “Alright. That's fair. You're pretty lethal from someone so small. You could be a really great fighter if you train more.” 

“Fuck you.” Keith is pretty sure he can't say anything else. He's just pretty happy the training center is empty. Explaining this to anyone would be a nightmare.

“Still fair.” Shirogane pinches the bridge of his nose. “Maybe you didn't break it. It's pretty bruised though.” Shame. “Could you teach me how to kick like that? My ears are still ringing.” 

“...what?” 

“From when you kicked me in the ear?” He points at this ear. “How did you get your leg up so high?”

“Oh, fuck--fuck you. I'm not... not short.” God damn it with this again. Every time after a flash back he couldn't talk right. 

“What...? No, I wasn't- I didn't mean you were.” He backpedals so hard it hilarious. Keith wishes he could laugh. “Alright, none of that then. Is there anything I can do to help?”

“No.” 

“Oh. Do you want me to go get someone?” Alem, Keith almost says. He wants Alem back so badly right now. He shakes his head. “Okay. I'm sorry for...” He waves a hand. Keith sighs. 

“You, uh, you didn't, didn't know.” He manages out, and gets up slowly. He walks closer to Shirogane and sits in front of him. “Dip your – dip your head back.” Shirogane watches him with big eyes and Keith touches the bridge of his nose gently. “It's, uh, not broken.” 

“Good.” Shirogane says. He sounds breathless. 

“Not good.” Keith shakes his head. 

“Not good?” 

“You deserve a broken nose.” Keith turns Shirogane's head sharply to look at his ear. Not bleeding either. Shirogane laughs. Keith meets his eyes. 

“It's at least bruised. Is that okay?” 

“Better … then nothing.” 

“You sound better.” Keith pulls away from him. 

“Mm.” Keith says and drops out of the ring, pulling his boots back on. Shirogane follows after him. “I don't want to go to my room.” He doesn't know why he says it out loud, but it's true.

“Want to get lunch? Uh, dinner? Late dinner?” 

“Not really.” Keith says. Shirogane looks dejected, so Keith shrugs. “I'll go though.” 

 

 

He doesn't like Yves. Yves is a shitty bunkmate, who makes a lot of noise, makes a big mess, and doesn't want to sleep with Keith at all, even when he's drunk, which really, is just bullshit. He's one of those who insists on being very not interested, even when Keith sees him stare at his ass. 

Keith gets more and more restless as time goes on, because with Mackenzie, it made sense, him not sleeping with her. But now? God, he misses Alem more and more. Alem writes him sometimes. They don't have a lot to talk about, but Keith is happy to not be forgotten. 

He's started spending a lot of time with Shirogane instead. Shiro. He's caught himself calling him Shiro several times now, which upset him and elated Shirogane to no end. He they punched each other a lot, Keith teaching Shiro how to fight better. Shiro would never pin him to his stomach again. At least he learned better.

Keith considers sleeping with him. He considers it at length actually, several times, when he jerks himself off at night. He doesn't, though. It seems like a bad idea, for some reason. Some gut feeling telling him that it wouldn't end well. But they spend more time together, fighting or eating, mostly. Sometimes they run.

It starts to rain pretty hard just as they are pulling on their running shoes, and Keith sighs. “Damn it.” 

“What? No, we can still go!” Shiro assures him, pulling him by his arm forward just a bit. “If this is you wussing out.” 

“Fuck you, this is me wussing out. I don't want to get sick.” 

“If you get sick, I'll take care of you.” He believes Shirogane.

“Fine.” He says and laces his sneakers. “If I get sick, you have to take care of me. Kick my bunkmate out.” He says and stretches his knees. 

“What's wrong with your roommate?” Keith almost blurts out 'he won't sleep with me'. Almost. 

“He's loud and messy.” 

“You're so picky.” Shirogane ruffles Keith's hair. “Are you growing it out?” 

“Maybe. Don't know yet. Are you coming or not?” And he bolts out the open double doors onto the track. 

 

 

Keith isn't the one who gets sick. Shiro meets him for breakfast the next day and looks just miserable. His eyes are watery, his nose is running, and he looks a bit red. “Jesus Christ.” Keith says out loud when Shiro sits in front of him. 

“How are you doing?” He says and starts coughing almost immediately.

“I don't think I've ever seen anyone get hit with the flu all at once before.” 

“It's a skill.” He coughs again. Keith gives Shirogane his napkin and Shirogane flushes even harder. He barely eats, just bites half of his toast, and drinks the juice. He tries to push his tray over to Keith, who pushes it back pretty hard. 

“Go sleep.” Keith says. 

“I have drills today.” 

“No one is going to fault you for it.” 

“But-”

“Go sleep.” Keith says again, harsher now. 

 

 

Io is a shy boy, Keith realizes pretty quickly. A fair bit younger then him, who seems to be mute. Well, he's better then the last one. Shiro stands in the doorway as he watches Io unpack his books. Keith pulls on a jacket and follows him out the door. 

“Are you going to be gone for long?” 

“Should be three months. It's only to Ganymede.” Keith nods. “Do you like your new roommate?” 

“He hasn't said a word to me. I don't know if he can actually talk or not.” They walk the corridors till they end up in front of Shiro's door. Shiro hands Keith the key to it, and Keith opens the door and steps inside. The room is bigger then Keith's, Shiro has a single, with a bigger bed. Some shelves with a lot of books scattered on the walls. 

“You can stay here, while I'm gone.” 

“Why would I want to?” He turns to look at Shiro. 

“In case your roommate is awful?” Keith laughs. 

“What if I like it too much and don't let you in while you're gone?” 

“It's a sacrifice I am willing to make.” Keith goes to sit on the bed. It's more comfortable too, but it makes sense, Shiro is in a higher position then he is. Shiro sits next to him. “Are you going to miss me?” Keith nods before he can stop him self. 

He doesn't have a lot of friends, Alem and Shiro were really the only ones he could relay on, and Alem is half way across the world. Shiro is going to be two planets away. He would figure something out, of course. He always has. There's a hand on his knee and Keith turns to look at Shiro. 

“You okay?”

“Yeah.” Keith nods. He looks back at the hand and then back at Shiro. “What are you doing?” The hand moves away. 

“Sorry.”

“It's okay.” Keith gets up and nods. “I'll take it.” Shiro laughs and gets up too. 

“I'll miss you.” He says. Oh. That's what the hand was. Keith gets on his toes and kisses him on the cheek. He does it quickly, before grabbing the keys. 

“I have drills. See you in three months, okay?” He asks. Shiro stares for a bit. “Shirogane? I have to go.”

“I'll miss you.” Shiro says again and kisses him. On the mouth. It's a good kiss, as far as kisses go. He's had better, really. He bites down on the lower lip, and Shiro moans into it. 

“I'll miss you too.” He says when he pulls away. “I still have to go.” 

“Wait, can you- mm.” Shiro mumbles. “It's stupid, never mind.” 

“What is it?” Keith asks, and he feels stupid, because he had an out and he didn't take it. 

“Can you bruise my nose.” 

“What.”

“I'm not being weird! It's just, when you punched me the last time it hurt for two months.” There was a hideous bruise over half his face for those two months. “I just want something to remember you by.” 

“Shirogane, that's really fucking weird.” Keith says. “I'm not punching you in the nose so you can jack off to me in space.” 

“You can't get a boner in space.” Shiro says, and Keith puts the keys back down. “No, no keep them. I'm sorry. I made this really weird didn't I?” 

“You asked me to punch you in the face. Because you were going to miss me.” Keith shakes his head. He gets up and closes the door. “Lie down.” He says. 

“What?”

“Lie down, you idiot.” Keith say and crosses the room back. He pushes Shiro down with his hands, and gets on his knees between his legs. “You are so useless sometimes.” He says and undoes the zipper in Shiro's pants. 

“What is going on?” He tries to get back up, but Keith puts a hand on his stomach and pushes down. Shiro stays. 

“This is better then punching someone in the face.” Keith says and pulls Shiro's cock out. “Do you want me to, or not?” 

“Yes please.” Shiro says from the bed, and Keith pumps him a few times with his fist. He licks the head, and relishes in the taste. He likes the taste of skin pre-precum. He's cut, which is a disappointment, but not much of one, because he presses his tongue into the slit and Shiro practically vibrates all the way down. 

“Wow.” He says. His mouth is full. “First time?” He asks, and licks down the back of it. 

“No. It's bin a while- is- is all.” Keith laughs. He licks up the back of it, sucks on the head until he tastes precum. It tastes a bit sweeter then he's used to. Of course it would. He grazes his teeth against it as he swallows about half. “God.” Shiro chokes out. 

Keith bobs his head up and down and doesn't bother to pull his teeth out of the way. It's just a light graze, but Shiro seems to love it if the way his legs are shaking is anything to go by. He goes all the way down on him, and Shiro grabs his hair. “I'm going-” He mumbles, and Keith puts a hand on his knee. Shiro shuts up. 

When he spills into Keith's mouth Keith swallows all of it. He sucks on the head just a bit till Shiro softens completely. He pulls off and tucks Shiro back into pants. “I have drills.” Keith says as he gets up. Shiro springs up as he does. 

“I'll miss you a lot.” 

“Good bye, Shiro.” Keith says. When he's half way down the hall he kicks himself because he realizes that he called him Shiro to his face. He kicks himself harder for the blowjob later. 

 

 

He's asleep in his bunk when he feels someone touch his back. He's awake in an instant, belly up, staring at Shiro's stupid eyeliner. He stops himself from punching him in the nose. “What the fuck are you doing?” He hisses out. 

“I just got back. I went to my room, but you weren't there.” 

Keith sighs. His bunkmate is gone. Sally May spent most nights out, a life style that Keith respected entirely. She was the only pilot he had been bunked with, and they became close friends pretty quickly. She was a year older then he was, and aside from the one time she crawled into his bed, they barely had any disagreements since. 

He would go into Shiro's room one a week, make sure it was clean, and leave. He didn't really want to stay there. It was quiet, and he was alone. He never liked being alone. “You're bed's too big.” He said. It was still dark, and Shiro was leaning over his railing. 

“Sorry.” Shiro shuffles a bit. “Did you miss me?” Keith sighs again and nods. He had to think about it, for a long time. He liked Shiro, he decided at some point. He might even love him, if he had more time. He missed him a lot though, that's for sure. He was lonely. “I'm glad.” He says and leans over and kisses him. 

Keith kisses him back, it's hungry, like he can almost taste the three months on Shiro's lips. “Come on.” He whispers when he pulls away. “I want you.” He says. Shiro smiles, and even in the dark room he can see the way his eyes light up. He pulls of his clothes and crawls on top of him. Keith kicks his shorts off. 

“Wow.” Shiro whispers. Keith is wearing a pair of black panties, nothing interesting to speak off, but Shiro seems enraptured all the same. “You have pretty legs.” Keith laughs. 

“Everyone says that.” He kisses Shiro on the mouth. It's gentle. He wants this to be gentle. Slow. Careful. 

“It's true.” Shiro kisses back. Keith was surprised at how well Shiro took Keith's sexuality. Usually there was a tirade, or someone would ignore him for a month, but when Shiro found he told him to safe and winked. That was it. Keith was grateful. “Do you want me to make love to you?”

“That's so cheesy.” Keith makes a face. “Gross. You're really gross, Shiro.” They kiss again, and it's still soft. None of the usual escalation. “I missed you.” He whispers as Shiro licked at his fingers, and slowly pressed one inside of him. With a sigh he relaxed, almost going limp. 

“I missed you too.” Shiro says, and pushes another finger into him. 

“How was space?”

“Beautiful.” Shiro whispers. “I wish you could see it.” 

Keith nods and watches where Shiro's fingers disappear into him. He rolls his hips and when Shiro bumps against his prostate he groans a little. “Have you done this before?” It's obvious he has. 

“Yeah.” Shiro nods. They kiss again. 

“Why aren't you doing it right then?” Shiro gasps dramatically. 

“I'm making love. It's supposed to be slow.” 

“Stop saying it like that!” Keith whines, and Shiro leans down to lick and suck at his neck. One of his hands grazes a nipple, and it spreads so that he can touch both. “You're doing it weird.” 

“You do it weird.” Shiro whispers into him and Keith laughs. “Are you ready?” 

“You tell me, expert.” He laughs when Shiro nods in ernest. When he pushes into him he gasps and starts rolling his hips immediately. 

“Stop rushing!” Shiro's laughing now, and Keith is too, because this is ridiculous. 

“It's boring!” He can barely say the words because his stomach is starting to hurt. “You suck. Come on! Do it like you mean it!” 

“No!” Shiro's gasping too. He ruts against him, Keith's cock rubbing against Shiro's stomach. If it wasn't for the cramped space this would be perfect. It probably wouldn't work though. No, Keith decides. It's pretty perfect as it is. “I dreamed about this for three months. Stop ruining it!”

Keith laughs. They roll and rut against each other, and it's warm and soft and slow the way Keith wanted it to be. It's a fantastic thing. Keith cums first, spilling over both their stomachs. His cock softens slowly, and Keith lays in a feat of bliss, because he could count on one hand the amount of times he finished first. 

Shiro keeps going for a solid five minutes after the fact, and Keith likes the way it feels, the drag of it. When Shiro cums, Keith grabs his hips to keep him there. 

“This is weird.” Shiro complains. “I'm not the weird one. Who does this?” 

“I do. Don't complain.” Keith kisses him again. He's never had sex that went for as long as this did. He likes it. 

“Yes sir.” Shiro whispers into his neck. 

When they pull apart in the morning, both of them regret it almost immediately. 

 

 

He doesn't want to stay here anymore. He has dreams of space and lions and beautiful elves with face paint, and he doesn't want to stay here anymore. Something is pulling at him, something in the desert, and he wants to leave. The garrison does nothing for him anymore. Omar watches him pace around the room. He doesn't even know Omar's last name. It doesn't really matter, he isn't going to stay around long enough to find out. 

When he tells Shiro, Shiro laughs. Keith doesn't really know what he was expecting, but it wasn't that. They don't fight, though. It's not worth it, not really. He fucks Shiro into the mattress hard and fast, and afterwards Shiro fucks him slow and soft, and they don't fight. Keith tells him again, and in the afterglow, Shiro agrees with him. 

He noticed, he said, how distant Keith was being. He couldn't leave though, he said, he was going to go on a very important mission in a year. Keith shrugged, told him it didn't matter, he could go on the mission, just come with me now. I need you, he said. 

“I love you.” Shiro said. 

“I love you.” Keith said back. 

They fuck again, smiling, laughing, so fucking happy together. Afterwards, the go and fight in the ring. Keith pummels Shiro into the mat, because Shiro doesn't take him seriously. Shiro lays in awe, with several bruised bones. Keith straddles him and kisses him. People stare. 

Apparently that's inappropriate behavior, the General tells him. Grounds for expulsion, Shiro asks, and Keith has to bite his cheek hard enough to bleed to stop from smiling. The General tells them that usually, yes, but, and Keith cuts him off. 

He gets kick out of the military half an hour later. Shiro hugs him up into the air and swings him around, and they kiss in public and people stare again. They don't stop, though. There's no point now. 

Keith finds the shack in the desert a week later, and Shiro helps him move in. The General says nothing when Shiro moves in with him. Not worth it, apparently. 

They buy Keith a speeder, and a stupidly big bed, and expensive computers. 

They break in every surface of the shack with a week. 

They do it again by the end of the month. 

 

 

“You're leaving tomorrow?” Keith asks. Shiro nods from the couch, he's to distracted staring at the monitor looking at Keith's readings. “You have everything you need?”

“Almost.” Shiro says and drinks from his mug. “Don't have you.” He says. 

“Gross.” Keith says, but walks to him anyway. He straddles his hips and puts the mug down on the table behind him. “Will you miss me?” He asks. 

“Always.” Shiro kisses him. “I got you something. To remember me by.” He lifts Keith up. “Go wait on the bed.” 

“Something to remember you by? If its a mold of your cock, I'm throwing you out.” He calls. All of clothes are off before he touches the sheets. He sits and waits. Shiro walks into the room with a box behind his back. 

“Close your eyes.” Keith does. “Put your hand out.” Keith does. “Here.” Keith opens his eyes. He rolls his eyes.

“You got me a dildo. Wow. I feel so loved.” 

“Its a vibrator.” 

“Burned the big bucks for me.” Keith listens as Shiro laughs. He feels it against his back. “Are you going to use it on me? Teach me?” He asks, and Shiro pushes his hair over this left shoulder, before kissing his neck. Keith shivers. 

“No, that's for when I'm gone.”

“Something for you to think about?”

“You can't get boners in space.” Keith laughs. “No, that's.... I want to to do something else.” 

“Oh?” Keith turns to look at him. “What's that?”

“Do you remember what you did for me when I went to Ganymede? It's something like that.” He whispers, and moves out of the way, pushing Keith down on the bed. He takes the vibrator out of his hands, setting it on a stack of boxes behind the bed. He lifts up his leg and kisses down it. 

“I'm getting a blow job too? When are we getting married, Shiro? I'm not wearing all white, that's so tac--” Keith freezes when he feels Shiro's tongue on his hole. Oh. Okay then. This was... very, very, fine. 

When Shiro fucks him with only his tongue for the next ten minutes, and Keith cums all over both of them, he's ready to do just about anything. When Shiro keeps him down, and pushes into him completely in one go, Keith howls. Every part of him seems alive, awake, screaming. He watches Shiro fuck him harder then he ever has, his head lulled back. They kiss. When Keith bites Shiro's lip hard enough to tear it, Shiro cums. 

“Gross.” Keith whispers, and Shiro laughs and laughs and laughs. 

He's gone the next morning. He should have punched him in the nose when he had the chance. 

 

 

When he gets the letter, hand delivered by the General himself, Keith screams. 

“No.” He screams. 

“He isn't.” He screams. 

“He can't be.” He screams. 

The General leaves the next day, after making sure that Keith wasn't going to hurt himself. 

Keith hurts himself. 

Hard enough to scar. 

His heart hurts. 

He doesn't know what to do, so he works. 

Every single day he works. 

He knows what the gut feeling was, from years ago. 

He wishes as hard as he can that the quiet would just go away. 

The bed is too big. 

It is too quiet. 

He hates being alone. 

He works. 

He works. 

He works. 

 

 

Keith wakes up in a cold sweat, his heart hurts, with a yell. 

“What's wrong? Keith? Are you okay?” Shiro asks, from his spot right next to him, in the bed they share. 

“I...” He shakes his head. He places a hand on Shiro's shoulder, pushing him down, and Keith rolls over onto him. “I missed you.” 

“Oh.” Shiro has nightmares the Keith can't even begin to think about. The castle is quiet. It is stable in the middle of the night, in the orbit of a red giant. “I missed you too. Every day. Every single day.” Shiro whispers. 

“I know.” Keith says into him. “I know.” He nods. “I felt it. I felt it, and I knew it wasn't true.” 

“I would have been, if it wasn't for you.” Shiro says, and Keith looks up. “I don't mean in that 'you kept me going' sense. You taught me how to fight. I would have been dead with out you.” 

“I know.” Keith smiles into him. “I know.” He kisses him, soft and slow. “Your kick was abysmal.” 

“It was. It really really was.” Shiro laughs. “I'm so happy you taught me how to high kick.” 

“I am too.” Shiro wraps his arms around Keith. “It still kind of sucks, if I'm really honest.” 

“Oh?”

“Yeah. I think you need to be taught better.” 

“Do I?” 

“Mmhm.” 

“Should I ask Allura?” 

“Mm. Maybe. She's pretty great. I bet you would be pretty together.”

“Really?” 

“Stay on topic.” 

“Of course.” Shiro laughs. “Hmm. Who do I know that could pound my face in...?”

“I wonder...?” Keith laughs too. 

“Do you think, you could, maybe?” 

“Anything for you, Shirogane.” 

“Don't you dare start with that again!” 

The bed is tiny, and Keith falls asleep to the sound of Shiro breathing.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> We made it. 
> 
> Did you like it? I hope you liked it. 
> 
> I'm in the process of going back and heavier editing for past chapters, little bit of book keeping there. 
> 
> As for the the next one? I don't really know. Suggestions are always very nice. Feel free to give them to me. 
> 
> As always, I am at iamalivenow on tumblr. 
> 
> (to everyone starting school already, good luck)
> 
> See you next time <3


	14. It Feels Like Culmination

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Shiro has a bad dream. 
> 
> Warnings: Shiro's imprisonment, dubcon, bad head space, Zarkon being a leery fuck.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So.
> 
> This chapter is sort of intended to go with the last one, but if you fell uncomfortable with anything mentioned in the warnings, obviously don't hurt yourselves. Read from "Shiro wakes up and he is still." to skip all of the unpleasantness. 
> 
> I mean, it goes places. Lots of unpleasant places, but I kind of like where it goes. 
> 
> I don't know. 
> 
> Thank you for spending time with this, either way. 
> 
> not beta'd

It's been a month. 

Shiro wakes up first, ramrod strait and covered in sweat. He's shaking. When he turns his head, Matt is curled into a ball trying to seek warmth from where Shiro's body was. He lets out a sigh and goes back down, laying at his side and brushing his hair out of his face. Matt stretches out a bit, a leg and an arm is thrown over Shiro almost immediately. 

Shiro can't help but laugh a little when Matt nuzzles into his shoulder. He reaches up a hand to Matt's back and pats it. He watches as his other cellmates stir into wakefulness in the dim purple colored cell. They click at each other and acknowledge Shiro when they get to it. A guard walks by the cell and looks in, finding nothing wrong, moves on. 

Shiro counts the sound of footfall. 

They have another thirty minutes before they drag them out to the training ground, and there is no reason to get up now. The packs with food will be by in fifteen. He lets Matt sleep. Last he heard, Dr. Holt was moved to a manual labor unit off site. Good. He would be safer there anyway. Matt's chest pushed against Shiro's arm slowly, and Shiro watched him. 

He missed Keith more then anything in the world, but in the early morning, maybe morning, space was difficult with time, when he was still out of it, not fully aware of horror around him, he could pretend that he was back home. When he came to and found Matt next to him instead, he felt awful, like he should apologize to both of them at the same time. 

When ten minutes pass, he gently shakes Matt awake. He mumbles incoherency before Shiro shifts away from him and helps him with his glasses. Matt rubs his eyes and yawns and looks genuinely happy for about three seconds before the realization crashes around him. It hurts to see that happen. Shiro doesn't watch it anymore. 

Instead he gets up and waits by the door before a tray slides through the slat with seven packs. Little almost plastic type containers with a tube sticking out the end. It's practical, if nothing else. Like everything with the Galra. It's practical. 

He passes the tray around and everyone grabs one, rips the cap off the tube and practically inhales the contents. He takes the last one for himself before putting the tray back into the slat and sitting with Matt. It tastes like plastic. It always tastes like plastic. 

Matt rests his head on Shiro's shoulder and sighs. He's nervous, Shiro can tell. His leg bounces, and Shiro puts a hand on his knee. Matt stops. “Sorry.” He mumbles and Shiro kisses his temple instead of any words. Keith would understand. He tries to lose himself in Matt's smell, but the door unlocks and he gets up first. 

Better spare everyone else the suffering. They line up behind him, and get frog marched to the training room. Its a walk that changes every day, presumably to confuse the prisoners, but there are only so many ways to get to one place. 

Shiro has memorized all of them. 

The guards leave them alone, and its only the sentries left watching them. So Shiro picks up the weights and gets to work. They told them all, exactly what was intended. Death at the hands of a champion in a gladiator match. Entertainment, they had told them. Train up. Don't disappoint us.

So Shiro trained. He had gotten strong in his time here, fine tuned his fighting. Keith taught him enough when he was on Earth, and now it was just a matter of mastering what need to be mastered. He could handle this. It wasn't even slightly a problem. 

Matt, on the other hand... Matt was terrified of almost everything that happened to them day in, day out, and he wasn't a fighter. He never planned on being one, and no matter how hard Shiro tried to teach him, no matter how many hours he spent urging him into violence, Matt's hits never hit with intent. 

Shiro was worried. There was only so far he could go to protect him, so he tried his hardest to teach him as much as he could. He wasn't like Keith in that way, a shy shrinking thing that clung to him in desperation. Matt watched Shiro lift weights and smiled at him as he did so. 

“Why do you know how to do that?” He would ask a lot. “I thought you were just a pilot?”

“I am.” Shiro said when Matt asked him today. “My- A friend of mine taught me how to fight.”

They have this conversation everyday. Shiro doesn't know if something is wrong with him, or with Matt, but everyone copes how they can. Shiro doesn't judge. 

“Keith?”

Matt remembers things though. Remembers little details Shiro's told him before they ended up here, during as well. 

“Yeah.” 

Matt smiles wide. Shiro knows what questions coming next, because it is the same one every day. He gives a different answer every day.

“What's he like?”

It feels like a culmination. 

“Perfect.” 

They have practically the same conversation everyday for a month, it never gets any deeper then that, and Shiro is fine with it. He doesn't want to get any more attached then he needs to. Lunch, more work, showers, back into the cell. It's been thirty days since they were held here, Shiro knows, because Shiro counts. He counts the steps, he counts the paths, and he counts the days. 

The guard stands in front of the cell to count them, and the smiles. 

“Tomorrow's the day.”

The door closes and the guard walks away. 

All of them sit in silence.

“Fuck.” Matt says, and everyone starts crying almost immediately. It is a strong thing, a powerful thing, to know that you were going to die the next day. Shiro doesn't know what to do. He doesn't know what to say to possibly calm them down. So he plans. 

Four hours later, his everything is vibrating with nervous energy. Not fear, no, excitement almost. Like a solution to a problem he can't solve. Everyone around him is asleep and all he wants to do is calm down. He can't. 

“Shiro?” 

Matt's awake. Makes sense, really, makes a lot of sense. He's been shaking like an addict next to him. “I'm sorry.”

“It's okay.” 

“Yeah.” 

It isn't. Not really. God, every part of him feels like glass. Like the edges are blurring together, and he's all one solid picture. He can't remember if he's ever felt like this before. Can't imagine if anyone ever has. 

“Shiro, what am I going to do?”

What is he going to do? 

“I have a plan, alright? Don't worry about it.” 

“Uh.” 

Really, the hesitation makes sense. It does. This feels so sickening, all of it. It would have been better if the guards hadn't told them anything. No. No, not really, the plan. The plan was there. 

“Are you okay?” 

“I don't know.”

“Shiro, am I going to die?”

“No.” 

“You can't possibly know that.”

“I do. You'll be fine. I promise.” 

“Shiro.” 

“I. Promise.” 

Matt sits up and looks at Shiro's neck. 

“Did they do something to you?” 

Shiro has to think. Has to genuinely think if they had. 

“No, I'm just...”

“Fidgety.” 

“Yeah.” 

“Shiro?”

“Yeah?”

“Can you do something for me?”

“What is it?”

“Can you pretend I'm Keith?”

It almost as if every single thing freezes, all at once. Like the planet they are on stops spinning. Like the ground falls out from under him. He feels sick. He meets Matt's eyes. He can practically still hear the record scratch. 

“What?”

“I-I just...” Matt shrinks under his eyes. “I don't want to be alone, right now. I don't want to die alone.”

“You are not going to die.” 

“Yeah, yeah, alright, but, can you... can you do it anyway? I don't know what else to do, but please? Please, can you do this for me?” 

“Matt, I don't think-”

“Please?” He hisses. “If I'm going to die, I don't want to die with out love, okay? Please?”

“You aren't going to die.” 

“Shiro, I'm begging. Please. It doesn't even have to be anything penetrative, just over the clothes is fine, it's not really cheating then, and I-” 

He's crying now. Shaking with the sobs going through him, so when someone starts to stir next to him, Shiro puts a hand on Matt's shoulder. “Matt, I don't think you're in the right mind to ask for that.” He whispers. 

“Pl-ple-please! I can't, knowing, that, I, please! Please! Let me be perfect for you!” 

“Shh!” 

Shiro swallows air, wipes Matt's tears away. Tips his head up and kisses him. Matt freezes up and leans forward to kiss him. “I'm sorry.”

“It's fine.” 

“Yeah.” 

Shiro kisses him until he can't breath, kisses him till the crying stops, and the short hot breath becomes something very different in nature. He lifts Matt up onto his lap and ruts against him, until Matt cums hard and falls asleep almost immediately. He doesn't finish. It seems wrong somehow. Shiro cleans them up. He tries not to think about it when he pushes Matt to the ground with an animalistic scream the next day. 

“Take care of your father.” He whispers before the solider grabs him and pulls him away. 

The arena is massive, and Zarkon sits and watches him. There is a smile on his lips when Shiro fights the way Keith taught him too. Sharp, and Fast, and Vicious. 

All that energy goes somewhere very, very, quickly. 

When he cleaves the head off of the thing he fights and throws it into the air, Zarkon gives a standing ovation.

 

 

Shiro's rooms are luxurious. 

It's still a cell, sure, with guards at the door and cameras on the wall, but he's by himself. It has a bath and a shower, books, and a bed. A very lush bed. He lays on it and watches as Zarkon moves around the room. 

“It's nice isn't? My kindness towards you?” 

“Yes sir.” Shiro says. 

He is a massive thing in person, Shiro only stands to his shoulder. Zarkon favoring him was a thing he genuinely didn't expect, or want, but is content to have. It was useful. He spent a lot of time with Shiro. Another thing that was odd. 

“You like it?”

“It's bigger then anything I've had on Earth.” 

“I'm Glad.” 

If his being here distracted the dictator from attacking Earth then he was willing to stay there as along as necessary. Haggar stood in the corner and laughed to herself as Zarkon sat on the bed next to Shiro.   
The two of them were almost inseparable. 

“You are content?” 

“Yes sir.” 

“You will fight well tonight?”

“Yes sir.” 

“Good.” 

Shiro didn't move from his position, his eyes doing all the conversation for him, all the movement for him. He was surprised how much he was allowed to get away with. 

“I want you to do good.”

“Yes sir.” 

“If you do good, Haggar has something for you.”

“Yes sir.” 

“Are you not curious as to what it is?”

“I haven't fought yet.”

Zarkon laughed. It shook the bed. It shook the room. 

“My warrior.” He said with a level of praise that turned Shiro's stomach. 

Shiro felt Zarkon's hand on his hip. He tried not to wiggle away from him. 

“You will fight well tonight. Haggar will give you the gift.” 

“Yes sir.” 

 

He bites down on the splint Haggar shoves in his mouth with out complaint. 

He feels the hot iron at his bicep. 

“My Warrior.” 

He doesn't scream when the iron presses into his shoulder. 

He doesn't scream when the circular blade cuts his arm off. 

He doesn't scream when something sews his gaping wound shut. 

He doesn't scream when Haggar attaches the new hideous revolting thing to his socket. 

He doesn't scream when the quintessence pours into him. 

He doesn't scream when the splint is removed from his arm. 

He doesn't scream when Zarkon stands over him and whispers promises in his ear. 

He doesn't scream when Haggar pulls him into Zarkon's chambers. 

He doesn't scream when both of them laugh.

 

He. 

 

Doesn't. 

 

Scream. 

 

 

Shiro wakes up and he is still. He lays still and shakes his head gently, willing the memory or nightmare away. He hasn't been able to tell them apart in a long time. Keith opens his eyes, almost as if he knows, and leans over to kiss his temple. 

“Are you okay?”

“Just a bad dream.” Keith sighs and rolls on top of him. He kisses Shiro softly, and gently, before pulling away. 

“I wish there was something I could do to help you.” Shiro nuzzles Keith's nose, both of them smiling. “Gross.” Keith whispers, and Shiro sighs happily. The castle is quiet, and the binary star system twirls around them. 

“I'm just happy I get to be gross with you.” 

“Mm.” Keith lays on top of him. “What was your dream about? If you want to talk about it, I mean.”

“Just... You know. I remembered Pidge's brother. My arm.” He doesn't say anything else. 

“Okay.” Keith looks like he wants to say something, but doesn't. “Do you want me to help you forget again?” Shiro laughs so hard, Keith falls back onto his spot of the bed. 

“Awful.” Keith nods. 

“Tasteless.” Shiro says. And after a moment of absolute silence, the type of silence that drowns people, the type of silence that moves into your bones and never leaves, Shiro says, “Yes. Please.” 

Keith climbs back on top of him. They kiss for a few minutes, every kiss lasting till they both have to gasp for air, till Shiro's lungs hurt, and his vision gets a little blurry, but it's good. It's so, so, good, that the dream is fading away. Slowly. He remembers the details, but, its disappearing. 

Keith pushes the blankets away and Shiro hands him the lotion. They've started sleeping naked now, because Shiro has a hard time counting just how many times they ended up in this situation. He watches Keith push wet fingers into himself, stretch himself to comfort, and then watches as Keith slowly straddles his hips. 

He's tight, Shiro thinks. He's always tight. He watches as Keith bounces on his dick, Keith's hands on his chest, over his nipples, for balance. When he rolls his hips it rocks through all of Shiro, who's reaching up to put a finger in Keith's mouth. Keith bites down on it, sucks on it, does everything Shiro wants him to do with out even having to say it. 

When he cums a minute later, the dream is gone. Keith slides off of him with ease, and waiting before Shiro hands him the lotion again. He feels Keith's wet fingers push into him now, feels him stretch him just a little less then necessary, and then feels Keith line himself up. 

What an expert. Shiro laughs at the thought. Keith just smiles down at him, spreads his legs a bit and pushes in. Shiro lurches forward until he's sitting upright, his face buried in Keith's shoulder. 

“Shh.” Keith rocks his hips gently. They go slowly, until Shiro's hard again from his dick rubbing against Keith's stomach. “Just breathe.” Shiro doesn't realize what Keith's talking about until he pulls away and Keith's shoulder is wet. 

Oh. “I'm sorry.”

“It's okay.” Keith kisses him again. “I love you.”

“I love you.” Shiro sobs back. 

He doesn't really know why he's crying, but Keith rocks into him, and the both just sway back and forth. He can't remember the last time they had sex this slow. Well, that's not true. They only had sex this slowly one time, their first time, and that makes him cry twice as hard. 

“I love you.” Keith whispers again. 

“I love you.” Shiro can barely say it back. 

They never say the too. It seems wrong. They never have, and they never will. Shiro cries over it into Keith's shoulder. They fuck for ten minutes, until Shiro cums again and Keith cums for the first time. Keith pets his hair, hugs him tightly, and they don't move for an hour. Keith is still inside him. He's going to feel Keith all day tomorrow, and he's so happy. So happy. He cries for the better part of the hour.

“Do you want to go back to sleep?” 

“No.” 

“Okay.” 

When they finally pull apart, Keith cleans himself up, and pulls on a pair of sweat pants. He pulls Shiro up and helps him put on a a pair of sweats too and then pulls him out of the room. 

“Where are we going?”

Keith doesn't say anything until they are standing in front of a massive window that takes up practically the whole wall. He can see the small blue planet they are docked over. The binary stars bath it in lights from both sides. It beautiful. 

Shiro rests his head on Keith's shoulder. 

“I love you.” He says. 

“I love you.” Keith kisses into his skin.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> We made it
> 
> That's exiting right?
> 
> I don't really know what else to say. 
> 
> It kind of took a lot out of me. 
> 
> Feel free to suggest stuff
> 
> See you in the next one. 
> 
> <3


	15. down by the ocean

Lance sits down at the edge of the pool and dips his feet in. The water is cold, but in comparison to the sweltering heat around him, it feels like heaven. He leans back and rests in the feeling of the cold softness lapping up his legs. He's sweating, he realizes. It's pretty gross. 

“Canon ball!” Lance lurches back, scrambling to get up away from the pool before he gets soaked. With a massive splash, Keith and Shiro are soaked through, not fast enough to get out of the way of Pidge's aftermath. Hunk follows her a second later, and Lance hears a loud groan. Allura and Coran are drenched too. 

The planet they're stopped on is mostly water, barring the jungle that they were in right now. Following a distress signal of mer-monkies, aliens that looked like hairy mermaids, apparently, a massive fight that ended in Voltron smashing a Galra stronghold, they all decided it was time for some relaxation. The mer-monkies showed them the pool they were all sitting at right now. 

The magic castle spat out bathing suits and now they were intent on using their vacation to the complete extent. This was fucking lux. Lance was thrilled. 

He watches Hunk and Pidge splash at each other, and at Keith and Shiro sitting together, and Coran and Allura talking about something quietly. He's alone. He leans back until his feet are in the pool and his back is on the warm stone he was sitting on. It was smooth and comfortable against his back. 

He remembers home all of a sudden. His brothers splashing in the ocean and his sisters tanning next to him mom and aunt, his uncle and Abolita trying to lug the heavy cooler over to them. He remembers the smell of the salt water and the sun on his skin. He remembers watching planes fly over head, the only thing interrupting the miles and miles of cloudless blue. 

He remembers watching girls in bikinis and guys in trunks play volleyball, and he remembers stoners and boarders a few feet behind him cheering at the top of their lungs over what ever shit got them excited. He remembers the old homeless women who would feed the gulls with bread she bought from their shop the day before. He remembers dogs chasing after them. Girls making sand castles and boys playing with crabs they found. 

He remembers his mom putting sunscreen on him, because the one time he got sunburned, everyone got to hear about it for a month. His aunt cutting into a massive watermelon he and his brothers stole from the community garden, and his uncle offering him beer. His Abolita knocking back a flask and laughing when his sisters gave her sea shells. 

He misses it, he realizes in that minute. He folds an arm to cover his face and tries his hardest to not cry about it. He's made it this long, he was going to see them again. He has to keep telling himself that over and over again. 

“You okay?” When he looked up Pidge was leaning out of the pool, her hair pressed down by the water. It was getting pretty long. 

“Yeah.” He leans back up and sighs. “How's the water?” 

“Want to find out?” 

“Pidge, don't-- !!!” Lance shrieked as Pidge grabbed his ankles and pulled him into the pool with her. When he resurfaced a half a second later, he yelped again. Hunk got behind him and grabbed his shoulder. He almost breached the water entirely. “Why?! Why?!” 

“You looked sad.” Pidge said before laying on her back and kick off of Lance to float away. 

“I told her to just splash you.” Hunk said and laughed when Lance splashed him instead. “Don't start anything you can't finish, my guy.” 

“My guy.” When Lance splashed him again, Hunk grabbed his shoulders and dunked him under. Lance dover under to grab at Hunk's ankles. 

When Lance resurfaced, Hunk looked adequately pissed, and they started splashing each other aggressively. They went for a solid half hour, before Allura yelled at them to stop, for the love of all that is holy, just stop. Lance swam away from him and climbed back up to his warm rock. He stretched out like a cat and closed his eyes. 

“Lance?” 

“Mm.” 

“Can we sit?” He opened his eyes and Shiro and Keith stood over him. He patted the rock next to him. 

“Watch your feet. Pidge will dunk you.” He smiles when Keith sits next to him. Keith looks pale, and his hair is pulled up so Lance could see his nape. He wants to kiss it really badly, but decided against it, for now, at least. Shiro looks the same nervous as when they were in a jettisoned storage room. He sits next to Keith. 

Lance watches them, the way Keith leans into Shiro and puts his hand through Shiro's. Shiro whispers something and Keith laughs, hitting his shoulder. Keith's legs rest of Shiro's.

“Gross.” Keith whispered something into Shiro's ear, and Shiro went completely still. Keith laughed at that too. “Hopeless.” Keith sighs. “Completely hopeless.” 

“Don't bully Shiro.” Lance says and they both turn to meet his eyes. Keith whispers something in Shiro's ear and smiles in a way that Lance has learned meant only one thing. Oh boy. In public? Allura had gotten into the pool and was chasing Pidge around in circles, while Hunk and Coran went inside, probably to get lunch.

In public then. 

“We need to talk.” Man, that phrase never fails to shoot ice water right down his veins. He sits up. 

“Am I in trouble?”

“Maybe.” Shiro nods. “We both are.” Keith gets up. 

“Use your words.” He leans down and kisses Shiro. “For courage.” He laughs and dives into the pool with a running start. They both watch him go. 

“What words?” Lance asks and turns to look at him. 

“...” Shiro scoots closer to Lance. “This is going to take a while.” 

“Okay...” They watch Keith on his back, his hair spread around his face, the band he was using in Shiro's hand. He pulls it over his wrist and brings it to his nose. 

“Remember what we talked about, when we were... jettisoned?” 

“Yeah.” He tries not to remember, actually. It was all to much, what ever Shiro was dealing with was clearly his problem. Not to mention to disaster that followed. 

“How do you feel about him?” Lance turns his head back to look at him. Lance was dating Keith. This was a true fact that they sat down and discussed. He hated him, before in the garrison. He probably still hated him a bit, but aside from that he liked how Keith made him feel. He liked spending time with him when they weren't fighting. He liked watching him and learning from him. 

“I like him.” Lance said and after a second added, “A lot.” Shiro nods. 

“I love him.” He says and Lance cringes. Right, of course he fucked up again. He wants to disappear. He doesn't. “More then anything, I love him.” 

“I can tell.” Shiro nods. 

“I thought I was fine with you and him together, that I could shove my pride down for his own happiness, but-”

“You want me to break up with him.” 

“But.” Shiro says and sighs. “I can't. I can't just pretend it doesn't bother me.” 

“So... you want me to break up with him.” 

“I thought about it for a really long time, and I told him as much. He told me he wasn't going to do that.”

“Listen, dude, just tell me that you want me to break up with him already.”

“He said that it would be stupid for me to ignore my feelings for you, to displace them the way I did.”

“God, Dude. Just get to it.”

“I didn't realize what he meant at first, really. But I liked sleeping with you. Both times. It was good. Different. Like we were doing something wrong and right at the same time.” 

“...What?”

“I _love_ him.” Shiro said and pointed with one hand, and then he turned to look at Lance and moved his hand to grab Lance's shoulder. “I _like_ you.” And then Shiro leaned over and kissed him. 

Lance's brain short circuited. 

When Shiro pulled away from him, he heard Pidge whoop over from where his head was leaning on the rock by their feet. When he turned, Pidge, Keith, and Allura were all watching them from the water, their heads all poking out, resting on the rock. “Hot.” Pidge whistled. 

Allura disappeared and a second later, after a loud shriek, Pidge did too. Keith smiled and hoisted himself up by his arms and moved to sit between them. 

“I'm so glad that's over with.” Keith threw both his arms around them and Lance pulled away. 

“No, hold on, what? What the actual fuck are you talking about?” 

“He likes you, and he likes me.” Keith sighs. “I like you. You like me. You probably like Shiro too, or you like him fucking you well enough, either way.”

“No, that's... I mean I do, but it- What?” Keith sighs almost bodily. 

“I like you.” Keith kisses him on the lips quickly. “You like me, right?” Lance nodded and he kissed him again. “I like Shiro.” Keith kisses Shiro. “Shiro likes me.” Shiro kisses him. “Shiro likes you.” Shiro bent over Keith to kiss Lance. “And you like him, right?” 

“Oh.” Lance says and leans up to kiss Shiro. 

“Look at you, figuring it out.”

“Every fucking time.” Lance breaths. Shiro laughs. 

“Lunch?” Hunk is behind them and Lance jumps. 

“Absolutely.” Shiro and Keith say at the same time and get up to follow Hunk to the little table they set up. Lance gets up to, grumbles under his breath and trails after them. 

They eat and the food is good. Everyone is laugh about something that Lance can't hear, so he focuses what he can see instead. Keith and Shiro sit opposite him at the table, and he's confused. Genuinely confused at them, about them, of them. There are so many things he doesn't know, so many holes he doesn't know how to fill. 

When did they even meet? He remembers, vaguely, a speech. Was that their first meeting? Were they friends when they started fucking? Have they slept with other people before then? Keith got around, he knew that much, but did Shiro? 

Lance finishes eating first and goes back to lay on his rock. It's warm against his back and before he knows it he falls asleep. 

 

 

Keith shakes him awake gently with a hand on his shoulder, and when Lance opens his eyes it's gotten pretty dark. It sounds like someone is still swimming in the pool. Lance yawns and sits up, almost hitting Keith in the head. He doesn't, Keith moves back fast enough. 

“How long have I-”

“Five hours.” Keith leans back on his hunches until he's sitting next to him. Their feet dangle in the water. Lance watches the little waves they make. 

“Everyone's gone inside already.” Shiro says from the water. That explains that then. Shiro's arm glows just a little. 

“Did I overwhelm you?” Keith asks out of nowhere. He turns to look at Lance and their faces are close.

“Huh?” 

“Earlier. Should we have done it differently?” Shiro swims away as Keith laces their fingers together. 

“I don't know.” Lance shrugs. “Maybe. I barely know you.” 

“Yeah.” Keith laughs a little, like he wants to say something but doesn't. 

“We only met for real like a month ago.” 

“We did.” Keith nods. “It hasn't been too bad has it?” 

“No! No, I... I like it. This. Us.” 

“Then what's wrong?”

“I don't know anything about either of you. It's, I don't know. Too much, all at once. To many questions, maybe?” 

“Okay.” Keith says and smiles in a way that makes Lance's stomach twist. “Ask then.” 

“Just like that?”

“Why does it have to be difficult? We like each other, so it should be good, right?” 

“uh.” Lance smiles at him. It was always difficult, for everyone back home. It was never just sit down and talk all your problems away. “When did you meet?” 

“I had to give a speech. Shiro gave it for me.” Keith swung one of his legs up to splash Shiro who was on his back in the other end of the pool. “I hated him.” 

“What?” 

“He was the worst?” The more Lance thinks about it the easier it is to remember. Keith starring at the stage in irritation, and then Shiro making a joke about it. Keith stalking off stage. Yeah, it was getting less blurry at the edges. 

“So how did you end up together?” 

“He wore me down.” Keith says and Shiro snorts from the water. 

“You were lonely!” He calls. 

“I punched him in the nose and he got off to it.” Shiro laughed pretty hard. 

“Is that a thing?” Keith started laughing too. He kissed Lance lightly. 

“It is for him.” 

“Uh.” Lance says. “How long were you together?” 

“I think we got together before you left for Ganymede.”

“If by together you mean you blew me?”

“You wanted me to punch you in the nose again, don't act all high and mighty.” 

“What?” 

“It doesn't matter.” Shiro calls from the water and dives under it. 

“A little over a year.” Keith says after a while. 

“Oh.”

“Can I ask you something?” 

“Yeah sure.” 

“Did you ever love anyone before? Not family, just, you know?” 

“I don't think so, not really.” 

It hurts to admit it. He misses home. 

“Hey.” Keith turns his head towards him. A thumb brushes his cheeks and he realizes he's crying. 

“Sorry.” Lance whispers. 

“Don't apologize, it's okay. Come here.” Keith says and takes his hand until Lance is straddling him. “It must be hard for you, but I'm here. And Shiro is here too, if you want him to be.”

“I don't-”

“You don't want him?” Lance shakes his head. His eyes are getting blurry. He feels like this was a long time coming. “You don't know what you want?” Lance nods and buries his face into Keith's neck. “That's okay too.” 

Lance rocks against Keith gently, crying, and he can almost feel Keith smiling. The lights from the castle are the only thing illuminating them and Lance remembers the massive pool in the garrison for some reason. He hated the drills they had to run so much. He feels tired just think about them, but now he wished he was there instead. He could hear Shiro swimming up and sticking his head on the rock. 

“You miss home?” Shiro asks and Lance just lets out another sob. He feels Keith nod gently. 

“We do too.” Keith whispers. “Everyone does.” 

“I know.” 

They sit there for half an hour, if Lance had to guess, Shiro rubbing his legs and Keith rubbing his back. He never would have done this at home. 

“I want to do something.” Lance says when he pulls away. Keith looks up at him and Shiro pulls himself out of the pool. 

“What would you like to do?” Shiro asks and Lance smiles. 

“It hurts.” He says. “Make it stop.” He says. 

Lance isn't sure if that was the right thing or the wrong thing to say but Keith and Shiro share a look and then he's being moved into the water. They go to the shallow part of the pool, where all of them can stand and then his shorts are pulled off and chucked somewhere. He doesn't even know where they go because he has both of their mouths on him. 

Shiro's is on his neck and Keith leans down to suck on one of his nipples and Lance throws his head back a bit, just enough to land on Shiro's shoulder comfortably. The water laps at his skin. It's gotten pretty cold. Shiro bites down and he jumps up. Keith laughs into him, the vibrations make him shake. 

“Tell me what you want.” Keith says. 

“Uh- I don't-”

“No, no, tell me what you want.” Keith says and pushes at his chest. Shiro laughs and wraps an arm around his waist hosting him up. They back up until Shiro is at the edge. 

“I---” What did he want? Keith. And Shiro. Keith's mouth. Shiro's hands. 

“Sure.” Shiro whispers. Did he say that out loud? From Keith's shit eating grin, he absolutely did. 

“Lift him up a bit.” Shiro's arms grabbed both of Lance's thighs from below and lifted him up like that. He clung to Shiro's arms because he was sure he was going to fall. Shiro goes back to biting his neck and Keith bends over to kiss his hips. He kissed both of them several times before Shiro spread his legs and Keith grabbed his dick, tugging it to attention. “There you go. Comfortable?” Lance nods, two tiny movements before Keith's lips are wrapped around the head. 

“How?” He whispers as Keith swallows him completely. It feels like warm wet velvet and his head lulls back to Shiro's shoulder again. “How does he do that?” He whispers and Shiro kisses his temple. 

“Practice.” Shiro whispers as they both look down at Keith. His head bobs up and down like it's literally nothing to him. He feels a hand at his ass, and learns at that moment that Keith can apparently multitask too, which is just such bullshit. He winces when a finger goes in, because water does not make good lube, apparently. Who would have thunk it? 

“Keith-” 

“I know.” He pulls off to say. “I know. Bare with me.” He settles at the head, rolling his tongue around it like it was candy. 

“He's opening you up for me.” Shiro whispers and Lance shudders. “It's going to be so good, I promise. And after I'm done, he's going to pound in two you too. You're going to be sore and needy and we won't stop.” Keith gets another finger into him and moans around the head off him. God. God. God. “You'll be good, right?”

“Yeah, yeah, yeah.” He pants and Shiro rewards him with a kiss. It's the biting kind, and afterwards, when he yelps from a third finger, Shiro teases his lower lip with his teeth. 

“So good for us, so beautiful. Look at you, so eager.” Lance can feel Shiro smiling against him. Keith pulls off of him for a second to bite at his hip. It's a sharp centering type of feeling. He was getting a bit lost anyway. “Can he take it yet?” 

“If you hold him like that.” Keith says and pulls Shiro's shorts down for him. He leaves them for a few seconds to set their swim trunks out of the water and Shiro lines up in the mean time. 

“Just like the first time, remember?” Lance nods. I was looking at you, he wants to say, but doesn't. He wants this, what ever this was going to be. Keith comes back. “Yeah?” 

“Yeah. Lance.” Lance meet's Keith's eyes. “If it's too much, tell us.” And then at the exact same time, fucking synchronized, Shiro pushes into him and Keith goes down on him. Lance yells. Both of them are laughing, Shiro waiting patiently and Keith vibrating around him. 

“Yeah.”

“Yeah?”

“Yeah.” He says again and Shiro starts moving. They don't spare him in the slightest because Keith is deep throating him and Shiro is ramming into him and Lance starts crying. He's aware of it, completely, figures it's better then drooling. He feels like he's being used by the both of them, doesn't mind it. Keith's hands reach up to his nipples. “God! God God God.” The words just pour out of him, Shiro licking at his neck gently. 

They fuck him for three minutes. On the down side, he cums in three minutes. On the upside, he's about to get fucked again. He cums with a shout and Shiro finishes almost immediately afterwards. Keith, as always doesn't. Not yet, at least. 

“Can you stand?” Shiro asks as he sets him down after he pulls out and Lance shakes his head, his legs are too wobbly. “Okay.” He kisses him before picking him up again, this time in a much less humiliating way pulling him out of the pool. Keith follows them. “How do you want him?” Christ, he was right there. 

“I want both of you.” Keith says. “Here.” He pushes Shiro down to the floor. “Put him down.” Lance lays on the rock on his back. It feels cool. “Fuck me while I fuck him.” Keith says and with no preamble pushes into Lance. Holy fuck, Shiro was right. He was sore as fuck, and Keith's dick rubbing him made him whine like a kid. High and long. “Hold on to me.” Keith says and kisses him when Lance's arms wrap around his back. 

He doesn't wait for him to readjust, just starts pistoning his hips. Lance alternated between whining and screaming and sobbing. He remembers the first time, when Keith kept going after the fact, but this is somehow so much more intense. He stills for a second, probably when Shiro fucks into him, but the stillness is even worse. He's oversensitive and every part of him is on edge. He starts wiggling under Keith. 

“Shh, so excited. Give me a minute.” He kisses him again, and Shiro starts moving, making Keith hiss into Lance's mouth. He must like it though, because a second later he starts moving too. 

They make a weird sort of rhythm after a while, Lance shuddering, Shiro fucking Keith, Keith fucking him, repeat until orgasm. Shiro goes first, and it looks like he bites Keith's shoulder hard enough to bleed. Lance spills himself against their chests, and Keith goes last, leaving Lance a weepy mess. 

“I'm going to die.” He says after all three of them are back in Keith's room twenty minutes later. Lance got a piggy back ride from Shiro, and all of them washed each other in the shower. “If it's going to be like that every time, I will die.” 

“Don't be dramatic.” Keith whispers because the lights are off, and Lance guesses that means he wants to sleep. 

“Zarkon has nothing on both off you. I can't do that all the time. I can't.” When Keith roles onto his side away from him and Lance turns to Shiro instead. “Shiro, I can't.” 

“Go to sleep Lance.” 

“Listen, you two have been doing this for way longer then I have okay, and I-”

“Sleep.” Keith says and kisses him quiet as Shiro laughs. 

“Have mercy.” Lance hisses, and Shiro kisses him quiet too.


	16. Cruelty

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Keith is defensive.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Here's a tiny chapter that took waaaaaaaay to long to make, but I can't look at it anymore, and I kind of like it, so here you go, I guess, please like it. 
> 
> Can you tell that college started up again? 
> 
> Cause I feel dead inside. 
> 
> Writing this was like pulling teeth, I don't know why. I like the overall tone off it though. 
> 
> I hope you do too. 
> 
> not beta'd

Keith had always been a worrier, Lance had noticed, realized. So when he watches Shiro get shot, and Keith let out a scream so blood chilling it stops even Sendak in his tracks, Lance notices, realizes, that this is not going to end well. He's terrified as Keith grips his bayard and runs forward, because even though Pidge and Allura and Hunk are right behind him, that the threat has been neutralized, and Shiro was absolutely going to walk away from that, Keith was going to kill him. 

And this would be different from a Galra drone, some nameless solider in a war neither side wants to be in. This was going to be personal. Intimate. He wasn't going to strike to kill, he was going to make it long, agonizing, painful. Sendak must see it because he sticks his hands up immediately, the universal sign of surrender, and Lance has to wonder just what he sees because they have never really been a threat to the Galra before. But now? Now Sendak is terrified. 

“Keith, stop!” Allura calls to him, and when Hunk moves to grab him, Keith shakes him off and grips his bayard harder. He's moving with intent now, and Allura must see that too, because she moves to grab him next. Keith kicks at her until he's out her grasp and moving forward again. 

Lance wishes he could do something. Wishes he wasn't shot right before Shiro was. Wishes they weren't slumped together in a heap watching this happen. But they are, and they can barely talk or make any noise, so all Lance can do it watch. 

“Stop!” Allura is much more insistent now, “We need him alive!” She yells. 

“No we don't!” Keith yells back, and Allura freezes, because... Lance isn't sure exactly what makes her stop, but he's only a few feet away from Sendak now, and everyone is scrambling. 

“They're both fine, Keith! You need to stop!” Hunk tells him before Keith lurches forward. Sendak lurches back, and he looks pathetic. He isn't fast enough to get away from Keith though, who's had gone up against training bots faster then any one Lance knew. He lifts the bayard and brings it down. 

He was expecting to hear a crunch, honestly. Sendak screams as his organic arm lays on the floor a foot away from him. When Keith lifts up the sword again, Pidge shoots out hers, and Keith stops. It was probably the shock. Lance wasn't sure if it was the voltage or the fact that Pidge did that to him, but he stops. The bayard shrinks as he clutches his side. 

Keith screams then, angrier and angrier words at all of them, before he gets shocked again, by the console this time, which meant Coran had regained control of the castle. He drops to the floor, and Shiro mumbles something under his breath that Lance can't hear before, seemingly, passing out too. 

Lance follows suit. No reason to be outdone by either of them. 

 

 

Lance wakes up first. He steps out of the tube and stumbles until he falls flat on his face. 

“Fuuuuuuuuck.” 

“Welcome back to the land of the living.” Pidge grabs his hand and pulls him up. 

“Everything hurts.” 

“Don't be dramatic Lance.” Coran stands by Allura with crossed arms. “You know for a fact it doesn't actually hurt.” Lance frowns and rubs at his face. 

“It does.” Coran throws his arms up in a fit of irritation. 

“How long have I been out?” 

“Twenty hours.”

“Christ.” He groans. “Feels longer.” 

“Shiro isn't due for another five minutes.” 

“And Keith?” 

“...” There's a silence around the room that worries him more then anything else. 

“Guys?” 

“About that.” Pidge says. 

“About that what? You can't just keep him in there. Right?” 

“About that.” Hunk says now, and Lance shakes his head. 

“You can't be serious. What do you think Shiro's going to say?”

“He showed a dangerous lack of self control. We can't afford-”

“It's not like we have a choice. And it's not like it's a permanent thing. It doesn't happen every time.” Why was he even defending him? Dating or not, Lance is pretty sure Keith wouldn't bother doing the same for him. But then again, it's not like Lance goes around cutting off arms. 

When Shiro comes too, he is also massively pissed. Not for the same reason though. He glares at everyone until they agree Keith should be released. Shiro helps him up when he is, and they leave almost immediately. 

“Romantic.” Pidge yells after him as he follows them. 

They end up in Shiro's room, but it's painfully obvious even to him that they don't actually want him there now. 

“Please.” Lance has never heard him that desperate before. Shiro doesn't hesitate as much as Lance does though. He cross the room and pushes Keith onto the mattress. There's a noise, it comes from Keith he realizes a minute later, of utter satisfaction. Lance watches as Shiro flips Keith over, reaches for the zipper of the plug suit, and pulls all the way down. His skin is wet already, glistening with sweat. Lance can see it in the dim lighting. 

“What do you need?” Shiro asks kissing up his spine. Keith whines, low and long, and Lance feels himself get harder. He unzips himself and a second later he's standing naked.

“Can I fuck him?” He asks out of nowhere. 

“Can he?” Shiro asks Keith who nods aggressively. “I think that sounds good.” Shiro says and Keith nods over and over and over. He takes Shiro's space behind him. He drags a hand up Keith's spine too. Keith practically purrs under him.

“Lube?” A bottle lands in his hand. He doesn't know when Shiro managed to get up, cross the room. He uncaps it and slathers his dick with it. 

“Just go.” Keith groans. “Don't bother with any of the--” Lance cuts him off. With his dick. By fucking him. He gets it now, because oh my god, is this what heaven feels like? Galra take him away now. Shiro moves to sit in front of him, and Keith opens his mouth. 

“Were you always like this?” Lance asks. 

“Like what?” 

“Such a massive whor---” Keith swings around onto his back with the momentum he gains when he kicks Lance in the kidney. 

“Fuck off.” 

“Keith-” 

“Fuck off.” He says again. Lance can't remember the last time he was this mad. Shiro grabs him by the arm before he starts fighting him in earnest. “Leave.” 

“Keith.” It's Shiro now, who sounds tired. “Lance, don't go anywhere. Apologize.” Lance waits for Keith to say something until he realizes that both of them are starring at him. 

“Sorry.” He mumbles. “I didn't know--”

“Just don't talk.” Keith says. “I can't handle you right now.” Shiro swats at Keith's back, but Keith doesn't change his opinion. “I need you.” He shifts gears almost immediately. It's not directed at him though. 

“Come here.” Shiro says. There's a sigh, a long pronounced sigh as Lance stands in the middle of the room and watches as Keith shucks off his plug suit completely and crawls into Shiro's lap. He's open enough, apparently, or he wants it to hurt, which is likely. Very likely. He sits down on Shiro's dick directly. “Go ahead.” Shiro whispers. “Take what you need.” 

“You.” Keith whines. “I need you.” He bounces up and down, and it's filthy. It's filthy and intimate all at the same time. “I thought--” 

“I know.” Shiro's hands brush along his sides. 

“I thought he was going to take you away again.” Lance's blood runs cold. He didn't even think, for a second, but it makes sense. Of course it does, of course there was a reason. He wants to leave the room, because he shouldn't be here right now. Shouldn't get in their way. “I couldn't, I couldn't handle it, Shiro. Shiro, I --” 

“I know. I know, Shh.” 

“I want you to be here. Forever.” 

“Here?” Shiro laughs a little. Keith's eyes are wet around the edges. 

“Right here.” He says and grinds down. “In me. An inch away from me.” 

“What about Lance, then?” Keith stops moving and doesn't say anything. “Don't you think he wants to be here with you and me too?” Keith starts moving up and down again. He doesn't seem interested in the conversation. 

“Yeah.” He says after a few minutes of silence. 

“Lance.” Shiro calls and Lance walks to them, like he always does. Shiro slows Keith down enough, before pushing another finger into him. 

“He's going to die.” Lance says before he can stop himself, because he has seen porn, and he know what that means. 

“Shiro.” Keith whines. 

“Come here.” Shiro says again and Lance does as he's told. 

It's tight. Cramped, there's barely any space left for him, but once he's situated Keith stats sobbing. It's a stress reaction, he's seen it happen before, but now he can actually do something about. Shiro kisses his neck and Lance kisses his back. It's a lot like the first time Shiro fucked him. 

They fuck him hard, until he's gaping open and drooling onto Shiro's chest. It feels weird, like Lance was still intruding, but it feels good. For once, a thing Lance thought impossible, Keith comes first, with his hips jutting up. They follow almost immediately after. 

Shiro lifts him off, physically man handles him onto the mattress and cleans him with his mouth. Lance watches as Keith writhes and whines. 

“Better?” 

“Promise you won't leave again. Promise you won't let them take you away from me.”

“I swear.” Shiro says and kisses him. The fact that neither of them blanche at the direct ass to mouth kiss is a testament to something he doesn't really want to think about. 

“You're not mad?” He asks half an hour later. All three of them are lying on their backs, starring at the ceiling. None of them feel comfortable enough to actually sleep.

“No.” Shiro shakes his head. “I was happy.” 

“Because I protect you.” 

“Because you protect me. You always protect me.” He whispers. Why is Lance even here, honestly. He wants to speak up, wants to draw attention to him, but he feels like he isn't supposed to be here. “Lance.” 

“Uh, yeah.” 

“You can't call him that.” Keith turns away, on his side now, staring at the wall. 

“It just slipped out.” He offers. Shiro shakes his head. 

“You can't.” 

“I won't. I'm sorry.” He says again and hears Keith humph. He guesses that's a decent enough acceptance of an apology. He shouldn't push it anyway. 

He wonders how, exactly, Shiro is going to explain Keith's behavior away. 

He finds he's okay with it, either way. It made sense, after all.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> We made it.
> 
> Like I said before, I hope you liked it.
> 
> If you want to tell me that I should improve my standards, you can do so at iamalivenow on tumblr. Wild new information, I'm sure. 
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> Also, hey, if you want to leave me prompts, please feel free to do so in the comments. 
> 
> See you Next Time.
> 
> <3

**Author's Note:**

> [iamalivenow](http://iamalivenow.tumblr.com/) is me on tumblr, come say hi, I'm nice, I swear. 
> 
> I take requests there!
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> Comments always appreciated!
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> If you make anything, please tell me!
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> ✧*｡٩(ˊᗜˋ*)و✧*｡


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